Make her sleep!

mommypam · December 28th, 2003, 01:14 AM

My DH and I have not had a full night of sleep since our daughter was born 14 months ago. I admit that he gets up with her 95% of the time, however it's taking a huge toll on both of us. We are getting less and less motivated and it's affecting our relationship as well (not sleeping in the same bed and becoming increasingly lazy). So what are your tips and suggestions?
She still takes a bottle in the middle of the night.

We have also tried CIO but it fails each and every time. The pedi offers no help either.

camprunner · December 28th, 2003, 05:34 PM

Pam, I can't imagine Mary sleeping in a Toddler bed at this point, but I knew a lady who did this with her child. I can't remember how old he was. They gave him a toddler bed, a flashlight, and left him a snack that he could easily eat. I am thinking he was closer to 18 months when they tried it though.

Is it possible that her diaper is just too wet by that time? Is it possible she is cold? Does it help when you sleep in the same room with her? What are her daytime naps like? Has she been having frequent ear infections?

mommypam · December 29th, 2003, 12:37 AM

No EI's ever and she doesnt sleep very well with DH in there. I hardly sleep in there because of our bed (it bites). She has 3 blankets that she sleeps with and half the t ime she tosses them off. Her day naps run one in the morning and afternoon for about 1-2 hours depedning.

JenM · December 29th, 2003, 07:22 AM

Have you tried only offering her water in the bottle so it's not exactly what she wants? The goal being... well if I'm not gonna' get milk I might as well sleep?

(Edited from milk to water.. DOH! That's what I MEANT to write. Darn pg brain!

)

kim · December 29th, 2003, 07:46 AM

i would work on cutting out that bottle, she's probably waking from habit

, at 14m a baby does not need a nighttime feeding.

once you cut that out, and she still won't stay asleep i'd move on to trying something else. the key is to only do one thing at a time.

ArtsyMom · December 29th, 2003, 09:18 AM

Have you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth -- it offers an interesting perspective, or The No Cry Sleep Solution?

Wendy · December 29th, 2003, 09:35 AM

I agree with Kim.....cut out the night time feeding. Also, I put Abby in a big girl bed at 13 months because she started having sleep issues.....once I gave her more room to roam at night and she wasnt hitting her head on the railing etc., she went back to sleeping. Of course, that is not to say that she didnt have sleep issues again once she hit about 19 months old, but that is another story.

Kate · December 29th, 2003, 05:45 PM

I would also get rid of the night time feeding. That is what our ped told us when Cameron was always waking up. Try putting water in the bottle instead of milk.

~Kate

Mom2Alex · December 31st, 2003, 03:10 PM

I'm not really sure what I would do with a bottle feeding infant b/c my bf-ing DD is still up at least once during the night and she is almost 18 months old.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with a baby who gets up at least once during the night.... it's our culture that insists that they be able (or forced) to do something that they may not be ready to do.

I would consider making sure that she isn't hungry when she goes to bed. Have a nutritious snack (peanut butter or something like that) before bed so that she has a full tummy.

I'd also consider reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley or "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. Sears. Both of those are really great resourses. You can find some of Dr. Sears' info at: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Jacqui

Karri · January 2nd, 2004, 09:37 AM

You arent going to want to hear this, but Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' says that at her age, a night waking is actually normal.
The first thing I would suggest is getting rid of that nighttime bottle. Maybe replace it with a sippy cup of water that you give her when she goes to bed, so if she's thirsty, she has access to it. If you are concerned about her milk intake, I would give her that bottle right before bedtime.
I would also suggest reading 'No Cry...' We had great success with it, as did other moms in my playgroup. (not to say that he doesnt regress at times....)

tchrgrrl · January 3rd, 2004, 12:58 PM

Once we cut out all bottles and switched to whole milk in sippy cups Zach stopped *needing* a middle of the night bottle. At 12 months he still wakes at least once a night for his pacifier or just to be soothed but it is a quick waking vs. a whole feeding. I haven't slept through the night more than 3-4 times in the last 19 months (I never slept through the night while I was PG either) but I figure someday he will sleep through the night... like at least by 15! LOL!

Oh! And I also recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution! It is an excellent resource and if nothing else might get you and your DH on the same page/mindset so you can deal with this together!

Patti · January 6th, 2004, 09:55 PM

My sympathies. It is really difficult living with disrupted sleep. I would also try getting rid of the middle of the night bottle. This is how we night weaned and it should work with a bottle too: I spend about 7 nights reducing the amount of time I let DS nurse by one minute (can reduce the amount of milk by 1 oz each night) and then once he was down to nursing for only 1-2 minutes, I let DH go to him and two nights of no nursing and daddy cuddles he stopped waking. We certainly have had regressions but they are for reasons other than the habit of waking to nurse/drink.

HTH,
Patti

Faye · January 16th, 2004, 03:04 PM

My daughter is 19 mos old and we still have *sleep issues*

I too wonder when I will ever get a decent night's sleep or sleep more than 5 hours straight.

December 28th, 2003, 01:14 AM	#1
mommypam Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 589	Make her sleep! My DH and I have not had a full night of sleep since our daughter was born 14 months ago. I admit that he gets up with her 95% of the time, however it's taking a huge toll on both of us. We are getting less and less motivated and it's affecting our relationship as well (not sleeping in the same bed and becoming increasingly lazy). So what are your tips and suggestions? She still takes a bottle in the middle of the night. We have also tried CIO but it fails each and every time. The pedi offers no help either.

December 29th, 2003, 07:22 AM	#4
JenM Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: already 3 months old!!! Posts: 1,048	Have you tried only offering her water in the bottle so it's not exactly what she wants? The goal being... well if I'm not gonna' get milk I might as well sleep? (Edited from milk to water.. DOH! That's what I MEANT to write. Darn pg brain! ) Last edited by JenM : December 29th, 2003 at 07:22 PM.

January 2nd, 2004, 09:37 AM	#10
Karri really? seriously? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: still freakin' stressed. Posts: 21,559	You arent going to want to hear this, but Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' says that at her age, a night waking is actually normal. The first thing I would suggest is getting rid of that nighttime bottle. Maybe replace it with a sippy cup of water that you give her when she goes to bed, so if she's thirsty, she has access to it. If you are concerned about her milk intake, I would give her that bottle right before bedtime. I would also suggest reading 'No Cry...' We had great success with it, as did other moms in my playgroup. (not to say that he doesnt regress at times....) __________________ Easy Bakin' Living out Loud

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December 28th, 2003, 05:34 PM	#2
camprunner Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NC Posts: 143	Pam, I can't imagine Mary sleeping in a Toddler bed at this point, but I knew a lady who did this with her child. I can't remember how old he was. They gave him a toddler bed, a flashlight, and left him a snack that he could easily eat. I am thinking he was closer to 18 months when they tried it though. Is it possible that her diaper is just too wet by that time? Is it possible she is cold? Does it help when you sleep in the same room with her? What are her daytime naps like? Has she been having frequent ear infections?

December 29th, 2003, 12:37 AM	#3
mommypam Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 589	No EI's ever and she doesnt sleep very well with DH in there. I hardly sleep in there because of our bed (it bites). She has 3 blankets that she sleeps with and half the t ime she tosses them off. Her day naps run one in the morning and afternoon for about 1-2 hours depedning.

December 29th, 2003, 07:46 AM	#5
kim Louise, no matter what happens, I'm glad I came Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: with you Posts: 11,198	i would work on cutting out that bottle, she's probably waking from habit , at 14m a baby does not need a nighttime feeding. once you cut that out, and she still won't stay asleep i'd move on to trying something else. the key is to only do one thing at a time.

December 29th, 2003, 09:18 AM	#6
ArtsyMom Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Leaving here soon...will miss y'all Posts: 1,356	Have you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth -- it offers an interesting perspective, or The No Cry Sleep Solution?

December 29th, 2003, 09:35 AM	#7
Wendy * Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,208	I agree with Kim.....cut out the night time feeding. Also, I put Abby in a big girl bed at 13 months because she started having sleep issues.....once I gave her more room to roam at night and she wasnt hitting her head on the railing etc., she went back to sleeping. Of course, that is not to say that she didnt have sleep issues again once she hit about 19 months old, but that is another story.

December 29th, 2003, 05:45 PM	#8
Kate Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,901	I would also get rid of the night time feeding. That is what our ped told us when Cameron was always waking up. Try putting water in the bottle instead of milk. ~Kate

December 31st, 2003, 03:10 PM	#9
Mom2Alex Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 110	I'm not really sure what I would do with a bottle feeding infant b/c my bf-ing DD is still up at least once during the night and she is almost 18 months old. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with a baby who gets up at least once during the night.... it's our culture that insists that they be able (or forced) to do something that they may not be ready to do. I would consider making sure that she isn't hungry when she goes to bed. Have a nutritious snack (peanut butter or something like that) before bed so that she has a full tummy. I'd also consider reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley or "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. Sears. Both of those are really great resourses. You can find some of Dr. Sears' info at: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp Jacqui

January 3rd, 2004, 12:58 PM	#11
tchrgrrl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 39	Once we cut out all bottles and switched to whole milk in sippy cups Zach stopped needing a middle of the night bottle. At 12 months he still wakes at least once a night for his pacifier or just to be soothed but it is a quick waking vs. a whole feeding. I haven't slept through the night more than 3-4 times in the last 19 months (I never slept through the night while I was PG either) but I figure someday he will sleep through the night... like at least by 15! LOL! Oh! And I also recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution! It is an excellent resource and if nothing else might get you and your DH on the same page/mindset so you can deal with this together!

January 6th, 2004, 09:55 PM	#12
Patti Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Vaughan, Ontario Posts: 23	My sympathies. It is really difficult living with disrupted sleep. I would also try getting rid of the middle of the night bottle. This is how we night weaned and it should work with a bottle too: I spend about 7 nights reducing the amount of time I let DS nurse by one minute (can reduce the amount of milk by 1 oz each night) and then once he was down to nursing for only 1-2 minutes, I let DH go to him and two nights of no nursing and daddy cuddles he stopped waking. We certainly have had regressions but they are for reasons other than the habit of waking to nurse/drink. HTH, Patti

January 16th, 2004, 03:04 PM	#13
Faye Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 221	My daughter is 19 mos old and we still have sleep issues I too wonder when I will ever get a decent night's sleep or sleep more than 5 hours straight.