Okay, so what if I don't make him nap?

smrtgirl · May 20th, 2004, 04:08 PM

At 7 mos old we are still battling some terrible sleep issues. Real briefly, DS would wake up the instant we put him down, or shortly thereafter, until we came to get him and tried again. Sometimes this would go on all night, literally. Out of desperation and against everything I believe in, we began CIO and are using the methods in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We have made progress with nighttime sleep (please don't curse me, sleep gods!). He refuses to nap. He can go days without so much as one single nap. He'll be exhausted--rubbing his eyes, yawning , fussy (sometimes), etc, but he'll scream and cry for an hour straight if we let him. I even let him cry an hour for 3 naps one day. He still never fell asleep, but DH came home to find me in a puddle of my own tears. I've tried everything. We only began the CIO because nothing else worked and he had to learn to sleep--we saw the sleep deprivation affecting him. However, if CIO doesn't work, and gentler methods don't work, and I can't physically have a 20lb baby sleep in my arms 2-3 times a day, everyday for naps, what are my options? It sounds irresponsible as a parent, IMO, to not make him nap, but if I can't make him nap anyway and all he is doing is crying all day when we try, would it behoove me to stop trying?

Brooke · May 20th, 2004, 04:34 PM

Would he prefer to sleep on his tummy? Just a thought. Rebekah would only sleep for 1 hour of less at a time on her back but she slept great on her tummy. Some parents aren't comfortable with tummy sleeping, though. But you can monitor him the whole time he naps if he's on his tummy since you are home and awake.

Otherwise, you're not really accomplishing anything by letting him cry for most of the day. Trying to force him to nap is just stressing you both out and that's less healthier than not taking a nap, IMO.

smrtgirl · May 20th, 2004, 04:44 PM

He fights me if I try to position him. He likes to be in charge of that

Even when we got naps from him they were 40 min, but when the improvements at night started, the naps stopped altogether.

Thanks for your response.

ArtsyMom · May 20th, 2004, 07:06 PM

Will he nap in the stroller or the car?

smrtgirl · May 20th, 2004, 07:15 PM

Sometimes he'll fall asleep in the car. The stroller doesn't happen as easily. If he does fall asleep in the car, I might have to drive for a while to get him to sleep (sometimes he is so tired that he'll start crying in the car). By the time he falls asleep and I drive around to keep him asleep--every day--I'll be eating dog food in order to afford the gas these days.

Good idea, though. Thanks.

SarahK · May 20th, 2004, 07:41 PM

He sounds a lot like my Katie! She's almost six months old and I'm to the point where I rarely even try to put her down for naps any more. She fights them like crazy 90% of the time...and even when she does take a nap, it's only 20 minutes long.

Sometimes she'll take longer ones in my arms, but that's the only way.

Anyhow, I've decided it isn't worth the fight right now--and she's doing just fine.

I do try to have quiet time with her each day--time to get her to mellow out and relax.

TtownAnne · May 20th, 2004, 09:02 PM

Okay, I'll be the voice of dissent here - if he's clearly exhausted (as you said by the rubbing eyes, yawning, etc.), keeping him up is doing him and yourselves no favors at all. As a matter of fact, for a baby that young, so little sleep is probably *medically* unsound (what is your pediatrician saying about these issues???) - babies use sleep to grow and process all the things they're learning. I don't know what to tell you to try because I don't know what you have tried, but I'd be trying everything in the book, and making up some of my own on top of it! Good luck.

Amy · May 22nd, 2004, 02:30 PM

I agree with Anne. At about the same age, I started having SERIOUS issues getting Emily to take naps, and finally I found success with a 5 in/5 out method (it was described at length on UB in this same forum, as a sticky). Basically, I would put her down, and leave the room. If she was crying 5 minutes later (and by crying I mean sobbing hysterically, screaming etc...not just fussing) I would go in and rub her back for 5 minutes, repeating "it's time to nap Emily, shhhshhhshh (the shhh's were LOUD)". We also used a womb sounds Pooh bear (and at 16 months old, we still do) for white noise. At the end of 5 minutes in her room, I'd leave again. Some days I would spend an entire HOUR doing the 5 in/5 out, but after less than a week, I only had to do it maybe twice....within 2 weeks I didn't have to do it at all.

Naps are so beneficial for babies, especially at only 7 months old. How much is he sleeping at night? What is your usual nighttime routine? Another key with getting babies to nap is paying close attention to their sleepy signs. It honestly sounds like he's getting overtired, and hits his second wind...which makes putting him down even more stressful for you both. As soon as he rubs his eyes, start heading for his crib. If he yawns, run for the crib. What's your usual daytime schedule? I think at 7 months Emily would go down for her morning nap about 1 1/2 to 2 hours after waking in the morning.

I finally remember the details from that sticky thread!! Sorry if I've been rambling, but the OP from UB had actually paid for a sleep specialist to help with her baby's sleeping, and I learned so much from it!! There should be two naps per day. Morning nap should be 1 1/2 to 2 hours after waking up, and last a minimum of 1 hour...even if you're doing 5 in/5 out for the full hour. The afternoon nap should begin 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours after the morning nap ended, and last 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.

Good luck, and let me know if you have any questions!!

Melissa · May 24th, 2004, 09:01 PM

I remember seeing many of your posts over at UB and I hope that you can get his sleeping under control. I agree, that naps are very important for babies (and their mommies!). Since you've been working at it so hard, would you be willing to call in an expert? I don't know what type of insurance you have (if you have it) but it may be willing to cover the cost of someone to come out to you.

Good luck! I hope things get better!

iluvhewy · May 25th, 2004, 08:31 AM

We had the same problem for awhile. We used music when Amara was a newborn and that helped at night, but during the day she wasn't happy to nap unless I was holding her. So I feel your pain. Looking back, what I think helped was to have DH put her to sleep for a weekend or something (if he's not home during the week much)Men are less nurturing and more apt to let them CIO. Amara eventually became better and better. Now we put her down awake and she puts herself to sleep. Has he ALWAYS been this way? Have to ever used the co-sleeping method? I know my SIL had a problem with her little guy and they ended up keeping him in bed with them....not that I think that is hte answer, but it worked for them. I think persistance is the key. Just keep at it. Ask his ped. Eventually he'll get it. I think him being overtired is a problem too...when Amara is overtired she'll refuse to nap. How often do you try to put him down? This is our schedule: I wake her up at 6/6:15. I feed her and play for a few minutes then I put her down around 6:45. I am not sure how long she sleeps because I leave for work at 6:55. I think DH has said she'll sleep for about an hour. Then she'll nap again around 12/1ish. Maybe you need to put him down earlier? More frequently? Just some ideas...

Good luck!!!!

May 20th, 2004, 04:08 PM	#1
smrtgirl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4	Okay, so what if I don't make him nap? At 7 mos old we are still battling some terrible sleep issues. Real briefly, DS would wake up the instant we put him down, or shortly thereafter, until we came to get him and tried again. Sometimes this would go on all night, literally. Out of desperation and against everything I believe in, we began CIO and are using the methods in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We have made progress with nighttime sleep (please don't curse me, sleep gods!). He refuses to nap. He can go days without so much as one single nap. He'll be exhausted--rubbing his eyes, yawning , fussy (sometimes), etc, but he'll scream and cry for an hour straight if we let him. I even let him cry an hour for 3 naps one day. He still never fell asleep, but DH came home to find me in a puddle of my own tears. I've tried everything. We only began the CIO because nothing else worked and he had to learn to sleep--we saw the sleep deprivation affecting him. However, if CIO doesn't work, and gentler methods don't work, and I can't physically have a 20lb baby sleep in my arms 2-3 times a day, everyday for naps, what are my options? It sounds irresponsible as a parent, IMO, to not make him nap, but if I can't make him nap anyway and all he is doing is crying all day when we try, would it behoove me to stop trying? Last edited by smrtgirl : May 20th, 2004 at 04:40 PM.

May 20th, 2004, 09:02 PM	#7
TtownAnne Slowly getting rid of boxes... Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Should I be LTownAnne, or a whole different name? Posts: 16,978	Okay, I'll be the voice of dissent here - if he's clearly exhausted (as you said by the rubbing eyes, yawning, etc.), keeping him up is doing him and yourselves no favors at all. As a matter of fact, for a baby that young, so little sleep is probably medically unsound (what is your pediatrician saying about these issues???) - babies use sleep to grow and process all the things they're learning. I don't know what to tell you to try because I don't know what you have tried, but I'd be trying everything in the book, and making up some of my own on top of it! Good luck. __________________ Thanks, Shel! Moving and settlement ordeal ...11.09.09 until Caroline's 8th birthday!

May 24th, 2004, 09:01 PM	#9
Melissa is going to Vegas baby. Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: CO Springs Posts: 11,885	I remember seeing many of your posts over at UB and I hope that you can get his sleeping under control. I agree, that naps are very important for babies (and their mommies!). Since you've been working at it so hard, would you be willing to call in an expert? I don't know what type of insurance you have (if you have it) but it may be willing to cover the cost of someone to come out to you. Good luck! I hope things get better! __________________ We're homeowners! An updated journal...

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

May 20th, 2004, 04:34 PM	#2
Brooke Daniel can count to 10! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Maryland Posts: 12,357	Would he prefer to sleep on his tummy? Just a thought. Rebekah would only sleep for 1 hour of less at a time on her back but she slept great on her tummy. Some parents aren't comfortable with tummy sleeping, though. But you can monitor him the whole time he naps if he's on his tummy since you are home and awake. Otherwise, you're not really accomplishing anything by letting him cry for most of the day. Trying to force him to nap is just stressing you both out and that's less healthier than not taking a nap, IMO.

May 20th, 2004, 04:44 PM	#3
smrtgirl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4	He fights me if I try to position him. He likes to be in charge of that Even when we got naps from him they were 40 min, but when the improvements at night started, the naps stopped altogether. Thanks for your response.

May 20th, 2004, 07:06 PM	#4
ArtsyMom Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Leaving here soon...will miss y'all Posts: 1,356	Will he nap in the stroller or the car?

May 20th, 2004, 07:15 PM	#5
smrtgirl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4	Sometimes he'll fall asleep in the car. The stroller doesn't happen as easily. If he does fall asleep in the car, I might have to drive for a while to get him to sleep (sometimes he is so tired that he'll start crying in the car). By the time he falls asleep and I drive around to keep him asleep--every day--I'll be eating dog food in order to afford the gas these days. Good idea, though. Thanks.

May 20th, 2004, 07:41 PM	#6
SarahK Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 8,575	He sounds a lot like my Katie! She's almost six months old and I'm to the point where I rarely even try to put her down for naps any more. She fights them like crazy 90% of the time...and even when she does take a nap, it's only 20 minutes long. Sometimes she'll take longer ones in my arms, but that's the only way. Anyhow, I've decided it isn't worth the fight right now--and she's doing just fine. I do try to have quiet time with her each day--time to get her to mellow out and relax.

May 22nd, 2004, 02:30 PM	#8
Amy Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: ready for some SUNSHINE!! Posts: 4,208	I agree with Anne. At about the same age, I started having SERIOUS issues getting Emily to take naps, and finally I found success with a 5 in/5 out method (it was described at length on UB in this same forum, as a sticky). Basically, I would put her down, and leave the room. If she was crying 5 minutes later (and by crying I mean sobbing hysterically, screaming etc...not just fussing) I would go in and rub her back for 5 minutes, repeating "it's time to nap Emily, shhhshhhshh (the shhh's were LOUD)". We also used a womb sounds Pooh bear (and at 16 months old, we still do) for white noise. At the end of 5 minutes in her room, I'd leave again. Some days I would spend an entire HOUR doing the 5 in/5 out, but after less than a week, I only had to do it maybe twice....within 2 weeks I didn't have to do it at all. Naps are so beneficial for babies, especially at only 7 months old. How much is he sleeping at night? What is your usual nighttime routine? Another key with getting babies to nap is paying close attention to their sleepy signs. It honestly sounds like he's getting overtired, and hits his second wind...which makes putting him down even more stressful for you both. As soon as he rubs his eyes, start heading for his crib. If he yawns, run for the crib. What's your usual daytime schedule? I think at 7 months Emily would go down for her morning nap about 1 1/2 to 2 hours after waking in the morning. I finally remember the details from that sticky thread!! Sorry if I've been rambling, but the OP from UB had actually paid for a sleep specialist to help with her baby's sleeping, and I learned so much from it!! There should be two naps per day. Morning nap should be 1 1/2 to 2 hours after waking up, and last a minimum of 1 hour...even if you're doing 5 in/5 out for the full hour. The afternoon nap should begin 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours after the morning nap ended, and last 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours. Good luck, and let me know if you have any questions!!

May 25th, 2004, 08:31 AM	#10
iluvhewy Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Menash, WI Posts: 89	We had the same problem for awhile. We used music when Amara was a newborn and that helped at night, but during the day she wasn't happy to nap unless I was holding her. So I feel your pain. Looking back, what I think helped was to have DH put her to sleep for a weekend or something (if he's not home during the week much)Men are less nurturing and more apt to let them CIO. Amara eventually became better and better. Now we put her down awake and she puts herself to sleep. Has he ALWAYS been this way? Have to ever used the co-sleeping method? I know my SIL had a problem with her little guy and they ended up keeping him in bed with them....not that I think that is hte answer, but it worked for them. I think persistance is the key. Just keep at it. Ask his ped. Eventually he'll get it. I think him being overtired is a problem too...when Amara is overtired she'll refuse to nap. How often do you try to put him down? This is our schedule: I wake her up at 6/6:15. I feed her and play for a few minutes then I put her down around 6:45. I am not sure how long she sleeps because I leave for work at 6:55. I think DH has said she'll sleep for about an hour. Then she'll nap again around 12/1ish. Maybe you need to put him down earlier? More frequently? Just some ideas... Good luck!!!!