misbehaving around relatives/friends

jkl · April 19th, 2004, 05:54 PM

Okay this just started recently.... It seems Ally (2.5 years) loves to test me when we're now around her grandparents especially and other relatives and friends. She acts real bratty and doesn't want to listen to me... She almost becomes a different child right now when we're around other people. Its really difficult becuz I'd be able to handle it alot better if we were by ourselves but its just harder around other people especially grandparents becuz in their eyes, she can do no wrong. Does anyone have any suggestions? Should I just pull her aside, maybe in another room?....

oh and now when she doesn't get her way w/ me.... she'll suddently want "grandmom"... it kind of hurts when she's asking for her again and again and again.. but I know she's only 2.

and today... (gotta love this one).. I had to scold her and then grandmom came over and said.. "mommy, yell at me"..

aylhu · April 21st, 2004, 10:14 AM

Can you enlist the grandparents' help? Tell them to tell her to listen to mommy or to be sure to reinforce what you tell her? My inlaws are great about this and they see my dd all the time. No MY parents live several states away. The last time they were here, dd was ALL OVER THE PLACE. Her schedule was screwed up, she was getting all sorts of attention and she was a little hellion! But I didn't want to be a spoil sport b/c they never see her, so I let a lot slide. Have no idea if that was the right decision. But since your daughter is doing this with grandparents she sees often, you need to find a solution, I suspect. If they don't help out, it's gotta be hard!

jkl · April 21st, 2004, 01:26 PM

aylhu..thanks.

i'm glad someone finally posted.

sometimes the inlaws will help but other times and I guess the time in question that I was specifically talking about my mil was actually doing anything but helping me. I had cut ally off w/ candy becuz it was getting late. dh wasn't there and ally was persistant and kept saying, i want more candy. my mil apparantly thought this was funny... she kept saying.."oh she said it again, ha ha ha" This was frustrating becuz I knew my mil knew I was frustrated and I had to keep explaining to ally that it was too late. but you're right maybe I should talk to them about trying to help me a little bit more.

thanks.

aylhu · April 21st, 2004, 01:53 PM

If it's your MIL, maybe your husband can talk to her? Or you can say something like, "Grandmom doesn't think you should have candy, either." and then throw her a look. She should pick up on THAT hint!

Lette · April 21st, 2004, 03:06 PM

Hi Jenn~

I'm just seeing your post now. I'm having grandparent woes too, so I don't know how much advice I can give. Jim's parents don't discipline Lexie when they watch her (2 days a week) and now she thinks she can do anything with them!

) We had an episode over the weekend, where I said she couldn't have something and then Grandpop said it was alright because HE said so.

I was ready to brain him! Jim finally had to threaten that they couldn't watch the kids if they didn't discipline. Still I think Grandpop tries to make Lexie laugh or smile during her timeouts.

Now that didn't help you at all, did it??

I need to read my 1-2-3 Magic book and then maybe I'll have more advice. I do keep hearing that consistency is best, so maybe pulling her out of the room for a time out would work.

Good Luck!

jkl · April 23rd, 2004, 09:04 PM

aylhu... that's a good one.. wish I had thought of it that day

I'll save it for next time.

lette- I'm glad I'm not the only one in this situation.. boy, I would be annoyed too if my inlaws (grandpop) did that.. I realize that grandparents think "they're not the disciplinarians, that's the parents job" but they've got to back us up

It sounds like our daughters' reactions have been the same... if you come up w/ anything that works for you, please pass it along... Maybe I will just have to take her into another room and have a talk w/ her.

April 19th, 2004, 05:54 PM	#1
jkl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 220	misbehaving around relatives/friends Okay this just started recently.... It seems Ally (2.5 years) loves to test me when we're now around her grandparents especially and other relatives and friends. She acts real bratty and doesn't want to listen to me... She almost becomes a different child right now when we're around other people. Its really difficult becuz I'd be able to handle it alot better if we were by ourselves but its just harder around other people especially grandparents becuz in their eyes, she can do no wrong. Does anyone have any suggestions? Should I just pull her aside, maybe in another room?.... oh and now when she doesn't get her way w/ me.... she'll suddently want "grandmom"... it kind of hurts when she's asking for her again and again and again.. but I know she's only 2. and today... (gotta love this one).. I had to scold her and then grandmom came over and said.. "mommy, yell at me"..

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April 21st, 2004, 10:14 AM	#2
aylhu Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Abq, NM Posts: 259	Can you enlist the grandparents' help? Tell them to tell her to listen to mommy or to be sure to reinforce what you tell her? My inlaws are great about this and they see my dd all the time. No MY parents live several states away. The last time they were here, dd was ALL OVER THE PLACE. Her schedule was screwed up, she was getting all sorts of attention and she was a little hellion! But I didn't want to be a spoil sport b/c they never see her, so I let a lot slide. Have no idea if that was the right decision. But since your daughter is doing this with grandparents she sees often, you need to find a solution, I suspect. If they don't help out, it's gotta be hard!

April 21st, 2004, 01:26 PM	#3
jkl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 220	aylhu..thanks. i'm glad someone finally posted. sometimes the inlaws will help but other times and I guess the time in question that I was specifically talking about my mil was actually doing anything but helping me. I had cut ally off w/ candy becuz it was getting late. dh wasn't there and ally was persistant and kept saying, i want more candy. my mil apparantly thought this was funny... she kept saying.."oh she said it again, ha ha ha" This was frustrating becuz I knew my mil knew I was frustrated and I had to keep explaining to ally that it was too late. but you're right maybe I should talk to them about trying to help me a little bit more. thanks.

April 21st, 2004, 01:53 PM	#4
aylhu Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Abq, NM Posts: 259	If it's your MIL, maybe your husband can talk to her? Or you can say something like, "Grandmom doesn't think you should have candy, either." and then throw her a look. She should pick up on THAT hint!

April 21st, 2004, 03:06 PM	#5
Lette Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: East Coast Posts: 10,333	Hi Jenn~ I'm just seeing your post now. I'm having grandparent woes too, so I don't know how much advice I can give. Jim's parents don't discipline Lexie when they watch her (2 days a week) and now she thinks she can do anything with them! ) We had an episode over the weekend, where I said she couldn't have something and then Grandpop said it was alright because HE said so. I was ready to brain him! Jim finally had to threaten that they couldn't watch the kids if they didn't discipline. Still I think Grandpop tries to make Lexie laugh or smile during her timeouts. Now that didn't help you at all, did it?? I need to read my 1-2-3 Magic book and then maybe I'll have more advice. I do keep hearing that consistency is best, so maybe pulling her out of the room for a time out would work. Good Luck!

April 23rd, 2004, 09:04 PM	#6
jkl Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 220	aylhu... that's a good one.. wish I had thought of it that day I'll save it for next time. lette- I'm glad I'm not the only one in this situation.. boy, I would be annoyed too if my inlaws (grandpop) did that.. I realize that grandparents think "they're not the disciplinarians, that's the parents job" but they've got to back us up It sounds like our daughters' reactions have been the same... if you come up w/ anything that works for you, please pass it along... Maybe I will just have to take her into another room and have a talk w/ her.