2 under 2 blues?

kimt · December 16th, 2003, 04:43 PM

I don't know if it's transitioning to SAHM-hood or if it's having two kids under two (15 mos & 6 weeks, plus a 10yo) that don't have anywhere's near the same schedule that's got me feeling overwelmed and a little blue, but at the end of the day when my husband comes home I feel like I haven't gotten anything accomplished. I feel frumpy wearing sweats all the time but it's the easiest, most practical outfit to wear when I'm home all day rolling around on the floor playing with the kids, getting spit up on, etc. (not to mention it's the only thing that *fits* comfortably right now

) Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be able to stay home this time and raise my kids. And I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like trying to get three kids and myself dressed, bundled up, dropped off at school/sitters and get to work at any normal starting time right now. I just feel like I'm a sucky wife right now. I don't miss the stress in my life (and in my marriage) from those crazy days, but I think I operated better under stress or maybe my expectations for life with 2 kids under 2 are too high at this stage of their and my life. I could really use some advice from other mothers out there who have done it and survived with some sanity left!!!

Here was my life today:
Everybody up at 6:30-
At 9:30 Sarah fell asleep, Michael went down for his nap at 10, threw in a load of wash and just as I was getting ready to vaccum, Sarah woke up. By the time I fed her, burped her and layed her back down it was 11:15 and Michael woke up...grumpily I might add. All he wanted to do was snuggle and have me read to him until 12 when I gave him lunch and then the whole rest of the afternoon went to pot. Sarah was only happy if she was being held...which nixed any housework. Michael went down for an afternoon nap at 3, which was when Sarah was ready for her next feeding.

Any suggestions? Do you all just wait until they go to bed at night to get it done? I have a habit of sitting and chatting with hubby once everybodys down and then we go to bed at 10 or 10:30. I guess I could always just stay up, but I like to go to bed when he does so we can have some snuggle time

Theresa · December 16th, 2003, 08:04 PM

I don't have any advice. I'm living the same thing right now.

I know it will get easier. Don't worry about the housework right now. There will always be more. What helped me a little is to make a list every day of everything I do; every feeding, bath, story read, etc. You'll be amazed how much you actually do. I know it will get better soon! Feel free to PM me any time!

JenM · December 16th, 2003, 08:11 PM

UGH! I wish I had some suggestions for you... but I'm about to be in a similar boat! Though, my kids will be 18 months apart and I'm really hoping that little difference will help. My oldest plays independently really well right now... so I figure she'll be doing that quite a bit while I tend to the new baby and other things around the house. I do hope some other people respond to this thread, though... I'd love to hear suggestions.

squintz22 · December 16th, 2003, 08:39 PM

Not sure if I have any 'suggestions' per say, but life does get easier. Mine are 18 months and 11 weeks, just about 16 months apart.

The first 7 weeks of Sloane's life were hell. I barely slept, since she had her days and nights mixed up. I couldn't sleep all night because she was up, and I couldn't sleep when she did during the day because Darcy was up. When she finally got her days and nights right, things got easier. The swing has been a lifesaver so I can occasionally pick up. Vacuuming is rare unless both girls are sleeping. I HAVE to do laundry since Sloane is a spitter upper and I go through burp rags constantly. Darcy usually tries to help me with that. But the only days I get out of pj's (usually comfy, stretchy pants and a t-shirt) are the days I have to leave the house.

And right now - I try my hardest NOT to leave the house because it's a PITA with it being so cold out. Darcy wants carried and Sloane's in the carrier. I'm just figuring I'll spend the winter in hibernation, and come out with the sun in the spring!!

But - you do LOTS!! Don't kid yourself. You do plenty around the house, and you're taking care of 3 children! That's a tough job. If you occasionally get some laundry or dishes done, you've just done some bonus work! I do usually end up doing it after the girls go to sleep though.

Karri · December 17th, 2003, 05:51 PM

I am in the same boat here, as well. Not even so bad, because I have my g-parents who come and clean for me once a week! But Norah is up at night, Elliott wants to be comforted a lot during the day, and then Aidan....well, he is good, but he still requires a lot of attention. Not to mention feedings and pumping take 1 hr 15 min and then I have to do it all over 1 hr 45 min later!! DH told me last night that I need to rest more and I snapped...I said "well who the hell is going to wash my pump parts, do the laundry, and cook dinner then?"

Ami · December 21st, 2003, 11:28 PM

I don't have any advice. I am in the same boat or should I say messy house

My 2 are 18 months apart (19 months and 1 month) and it is tough. I don't shower or get out of my pjs until DH gets home, some days I brush my teeth when my son goes down for his afternoon nap! I am hoping it gets easier. Goodluck.

Faye · December 22nd, 2003, 11:45 AM

My kids are 6 1/2 years apart in age so I never had an issue like this (thank goodness) but I have enough problems just with one toddler in the house. I can't imagine having two under 2 years old. Kudo's to those of you who handle this every day!

gulp! · December 22nd, 2003, 02:03 PM

This is soon to be my reality as well. All I can say is that one of the things we plan on doing is using our nanny to help out, particularly for the first several months. Not an option for many folks, but if you can afford it, it might be good to get someone to come by a couple hours a week to watch the kids so you can get some stuff done.

Even though I'll be home on maternity leave for 4 months, I plan to continue having our nanny come 3x a week, to make sure Emma gets enough individualized attention.

JenM · December 23rd, 2003, 08:27 AM

I agree, Stef. That is our plan as well... Eventually. MY folks will be here for at least a week after Ellie comes (DH isn't necessarily happy about that, though)... And he will be taking some time off of work. But when things for his working kick into high gear again, we'll have our nanny come in a few mornings as well. I want Zoe to have her very own playmate for part of the week. And that'll probably help me feel less guilty too

December 16th, 2003, 04:43 PM	#1
kimt Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 60	2 under 2 blues? I don't know if it's transitioning to SAHM-hood or if it's having two kids under two (15 mos & 6 weeks, plus a 10yo) that don't have anywhere's near the same schedule that's got me feeling overwelmed and a little blue, but at the end of the day when my husband comes home I feel like I haven't gotten anything accomplished. I feel frumpy wearing sweats all the time but it's the easiest, most practical outfit to wear when I'm home all day rolling around on the floor playing with the kids, getting spit up on, etc. (not to mention it's the only thing that fits comfortably right now ) Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be able to stay home this time and raise my kids. And I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like trying to get three kids and myself dressed, bundled up, dropped off at school/sitters and get to work at any normal starting time right now. I just feel like I'm a sucky wife right now. I don't miss the stress in my life (and in my marriage) from those crazy days, but I think I operated better under stress or maybe my expectations for life with 2 kids under 2 are too high at this stage of their and my life. I could really use some advice from other mothers out there who have done it and survived with some sanity left!!! Here was my life today: Everybody up at 6:30- At 9:30 Sarah fell asleep, Michael went down for his nap at 10, threw in a load of wash and just as I was getting ready to vaccum, Sarah woke up. By the time I fed her, burped her and layed her back down it was 11:15 and Michael woke up...grumpily I might add. All he wanted to do was snuggle and have me read to him until 12 when I gave him lunch and then the whole rest of the afternoon went to pot. Sarah was only happy if she was being held...which nixed any housework. Michael went down for an afternoon nap at 3, which was when Sarah was ready for her next feeding. Any suggestions? Do you all just wait until they go to bed at night to get it done? I have a habit of sitting and chatting with hubby once everybodys down and then we go to bed at 10 or 10:30. I guess I could always just stay up, but I like to go to bed when he does so we can have some snuggle time

December 17th, 2003, 05:51 PM	#5
Karri really? seriously? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: still freakin' stressed. Posts: 21,559	I am in the same boat here, as well. Not even so bad, because I have my g-parents who come and clean for me once a week! But Norah is up at night, Elliott wants to be comforted a lot during the day, and then Aidan....well, he is good, but he still requires a lot of attention. Not to mention feedings and pumping take 1 hr 15 min and then I have to do it all over 1 hr 45 min later!! DH told me last night that I need to rest more and I snapped...I said "well who the hell is going to wash my pump parts, do the laundry, and cook dinner then?" __________________ Easy Bakin' Living out Loud

December 22nd, 2003, 02:03 PM	#8
gulp! between here and there. Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 10,874	This is soon to be my reality as well. All I can say is that one of the things we plan on doing is using our nanny to help out, particularly for the first several months. Not an option for many folks, but if you can afford it, it might be good to get someone to come by a couple hours a week to watch the kids so you can get some stuff done. Even though I'll be home on maternity leave for 4 months, I plan to continue having our nanny come 3x a week, to make sure Emma gets enough individualized attention. __________________ This Castle Has Rules

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December 16th, 2003, 08:04 PM	#2
Theresa Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 11,832	I don't have any advice. I'm living the same thing right now. I know it will get easier. Don't worry about the housework right now. There will always be more. What helped me a little is to make a list every day of everything I do; every feeding, bath, story read, etc. You'll be amazed how much you actually do. I know it will get better soon! Feel free to PM me any time!

December 16th, 2003, 08:11 PM	#3
JenM Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: already 3 months old!!! Posts: 1,048	UGH! I wish I had some suggestions for you... but I'm about to be in a similar boat! Though, my kids will be 18 months apart and I'm really hoping that little difference will help. My oldest plays independently really well right now... so I figure she'll be doing that quite a bit while I tend to the new baby and other things around the house. I do hope some other people respond to this thread, though... I'd love to hear suggestions.

December 16th, 2003, 08:39 PM	#4
squintz22 Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 121	Not sure if I have any 'suggestions' per say, but life does get easier. Mine are 18 months and 11 weeks, just about 16 months apart. The first 7 weeks of Sloane's life were hell. I barely slept, since she had her days and nights mixed up. I couldn't sleep all night because she was up, and I couldn't sleep when she did during the day because Darcy was up. When she finally got her days and nights right, things got easier. The swing has been a lifesaver so I can occasionally pick up. Vacuuming is rare unless both girls are sleeping. I HAVE to do laundry since Sloane is a spitter upper and I go through burp rags constantly. Darcy usually tries to help me with that. But the only days I get out of pj's (usually comfy, stretchy pants and a t-shirt) are the days I have to leave the house. And right now - I try my hardest NOT to leave the house because it's a PITA with it being so cold out. Darcy wants carried and Sloane's in the carrier. I'm just figuring I'll spend the winter in hibernation, and come out with the sun in the spring!! But - you do LOTS!! Don't kid yourself. You do plenty around the house, and you're taking care of 3 children! That's a tough job. If you occasionally get some laundry or dishes done, you've just done some bonus work! I do usually end up doing it after the girls go to sleep though.

December 21st, 2003, 11:28 PM	#6
Ami Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: AA Meetings Posts: 5,296	I don't have any advice. I am in the same boat or should I say messy house My 2 are 18 months apart (19 months and 1 month) and it is tough. I don't shower or get out of my pjs until DH gets home, some days I brush my teeth when my son goes down for his afternoon nap! I am hoping it gets easier. Goodluck.

December 22nd, 2003, 11:45 AM	#7
Faye Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 221	My kids are 6 1/2 years apart in age so I never had an issue like this (thank goodness) but I have enough problems just with one toddler in the house. I can't imagine having two under 2 years old. Kudo's to those of you who handle this every day!

December 23rd, 2003, 08:27 AM	#9
JenM Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: already 3 months old!!! Posts: 1,048	I agree, Stef. That is our plan as well... Eventually. MY folks will be here for at least a week after Ellie comes (DH isn't necessarily happy about that, though)... And he will be taking some time off of work. But when things for his working kick into high gear again, we'll have our nanny come in a few mornings as well. I want Zoe to have her very own playmate for part of the week. And that'll probably help me feel less guilty too