Toddler interaction -- when to interfere?

Bobbie · March 15th, 2004, 04:16 PM

I'm trying to get K (16 months old) more regularly involved in group settings with other toddlers and preschoolers. Sometimes she's shy and clingy, other times she shoves her way between other kids to get what she wants and protests loudly if she can't have her way. I try to introduce the concept of taking turns, and I don't let her swipe things from other kids, which she often tries to do. She knows the word "gentle," and I use it often when she's around other kids and animals. But at her age, I know she's not developmentally ready to share and can't understand the rules of social interaction. Sometimes I feel compelled to trail her around in case some swift interference is needed. I notice most other parents don't do this -- maybe their kids aren't as unpredictable as mine? Is it okay to let toddlers solve some problems on their own or are they too young for this? I thought K's first one-on-one play date went well, but a mutual friend told me the other mom said K was "rude." I'm taken aback.

Can anyone help me with the etiquette for referee-ing toddler interaction?

jstauffer · March 15th, 2004, 05:39 PM

I'm kind of laid back I guess, because I try to let them work it out themselves most of the time. Unless someone is actually getting hurt of course.

Nocona · March 15th, 2004, 05:52 PM

"rude"?!?!?! She's just over one!! That woman is retarded.

I just stand back and watch and if Matthew is lying on his friend or pushing him just to be pushing him, I interfere. Otherwise, they usually work it out amongst themselves.

Tara · March 15th, 2004, 06:49 PM

OMG! i can't believe that she is that Kiaeryn was "rude" How dumb is that?! I think that mom is "RUDE" !

Anyway, I usually let them work it out themselves unless one or the other is doing someting like, hitting, pinching etc... I say "share" alot then have to laugh at myself because has no clue what that means!!!

Kris · March 15th, 2004, 10:18 PM

I can't believe she said she was rude how awful.

Toddlers need to learn mine before they learn how to share because think about it they can't share what isn't theirs

It is good to let the interact by themselves (I mean figure it out) but only if they aren't getting too frustrated I would say.

Faye · March 17th, 2004, 12:40 PM

I can't believe anyone would call a toddler "rude"

Anyone who has ever had a child this age should know what to expect. Most children this age go through a selfish phase or a phase where they don't listen as well, etc. I wouldn't worry about it but just keep redirecting her or getting on to her verbally if that seems to be the way you like to do it. It will sink in eventually that her bad behavior or not-so-nice behavior is not going to be tolerated by you.

My daughter is almost 22 months old and still has a problem listening to me when I get on to her for this kind of thing.

March 15th, 2004, 04:16 PM	#1
Bobbie Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Near Titletown, WI Posts: 898	Toddler interaction -- when to interfere? I'm trying to get K (16 months old) more regularly involved in group settings with other toddlers and preschoolers. Sometimes she's shy and clingy, other times she shoves her way between other kids to get what she wants and protests loudly if she can't have her way. I try to introduce the concept of taking turns, and I don't let her swipe things from other kids, which she often tries to do. She knows the word "gentle," and I use it often when she's around other kids and animals. But at her age, I know she's not developmentally ready to share and can't understand the rules of social interaction. Sometimes I feel compelled to trail her around in case some swift interference is needed. I notice most other parents don't do this -- maybe their kids aren't as unpredictable as mine? Is it okay to let toddlers solve some problems on their own or are they too young for this? I thought K's first one-on-one play date went well, but a mutual friend told me the other mom said K was "rude." I'm taken aback. Can anyone help me with the etiquette for referee-ing toddler interaction? Last edited by Nichole : January 4th, 2006 at 11:07 PM.

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March 15th, 2004, 05:39 PM	#2
jstauffer Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: WA State Posts: 3,080	I'm kind of laid back I guess, because I try to let them work it out themselves most of the time. Unless someone is actually getting hurt of course.

March 15th, 2004, 05:52 PM	#3
Nocona . Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 13,212	"rude"?!?!?! She's just over one!! That woman is retarded. I just stand back and watch and if Matthew is lying on his friend or pushing him just to be pushing him, I interfere. Otherwise, they usually work it out amongst themselves.

March 15th, 2004, 06:49 PM	#4
Tara Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 1,275	OMG! i can't believe that she is that Kiaeryn was "rude" How dumb is that?! I think that mom is "RUDE" ! Anyway, I usually let them work it out themselves unless one or the other is doing someting like, hitting, pinching etc... I say "share" alot then have to laugh at myself because has no clue what that means!!!

March 15th, 2004, 10:18 PM	#5
Kris Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Tip of the Mitt Posts: 2,074	I can't believe she said she was rude how awful. Toddlers need to learn mine before they learn how to share because think about it they can't share what isn't theirs It is good to let the interact by themselves (I mean figure it out) but only if they aren't getting too frustrated I would say.

March 17th, 2004, 12:40 PM	#6
Faye Registered but not Subscribed Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 221	I can't believe anyone would call a toddler "rude" Anyone who has ever had a child this age should know what to expect. Most children this age go through a selfish phase or a phase where they don't listen as well, etc. I wouldn't worry about it but just keep redirecting her or getting on to her verbally if that seems to be the way you like to do it. It will sink in eventually that her bad behavior or not-so-nice behavior is not going to be tolerated by you. My daughter is almost 22 months old and still has a problem listening to me when I get on to her for this kind of thing.