Discipline..when and what kind?

[gulp!]

Emma is 19 months old and I think she's still a bit too young for pretty much any method of discipline to work. We try saying "no", but she just laughs at us and keeps on doing it. There's no way that a time out would have any impact on her yet, I don't think. I've got the book 1-2-3 magic to read, but I'm not sure she's old enough to understand the concept.

So currently our only "method" of discipline is to firmly say no, explain why, and remove her from the situation or distract her with something she's allowed to do.

I was curious when you started disciplining your kids, and what method did you choose?

[Eleanor]

We started with redirection, as soon as she was old enough to get into things she shouldn't. We tried to vary what we'd say instead of just "no" all the time. "we don't play with that", "that's dangerous", "that hurts mommy when you do that, please don't". And occasionally just "no".

We started using 1-2-3 Magic when she was a little over 2, and it works great...but I do agree you need to be really sure that they'll get the concept. I expand a little more than the author suggests...rather than just "that's one", I tell her "mommy's telling you once, don't do that" because I still don't think she's old enough to sit down and have a talk about what counting is, and what things get counted...and I want to make absolutely sure that she understands what's happening. (And sometimes I'll add..."and you remember what happens when we get to 3"- she does, and usually stops what she's doing)

[TtownAnne]

We started implementing a basic method of 1-2-3 when Caroline was around 18 months old (not actually giving her a time out with counting, but with giving her several warnings and then sitting down with her on the sofa and hugging her tightly so she can't move or attempt to leave or whatever). And we even set a few things that got an immediate "restraint" - hitting, deliberately throwing. Once she started getting the idea of counting, then we changed the warnings to counts, and time outs upon three. It really works well for us, and she gets timeouts less than once a week!

[Dennis]

We've been really lucky with Joe - redirection is usually all he needs. The key thing is to be consistent. For example, Joe somethings bangs his fork or spoon. So we tell him if he keeps doing it we'll take it away, and then we follow through if he does. I don't think they're ever too young to start learning about consequences.

Dennis

[Karri]

We've started with 1-2-3 magic recently (22 months). He still doesnt seem to get it, though. When I count and put him in the TO, he just laughs at me half the time. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[cimberdog]

What is 1-2-3 Magic??? It sounds like something I should get.

[Dennis]

It's a book - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846

[MizLacey]

I've never heard of 1-2-3 Magic, but we started time-out as soon as the kids were old enough to willfully do things they shouldn't be doing.

One of the best things I learned from one of my early childhood ed professors was to use "STOP" instead of "NO". You teach the child to freeze in current position whenever you say, "stop". It works quite effectively as they get older, and even at 16 and 14 they recognize that if I say "stop" in that particular tone, they'd better freeze.

You're very smart for thinking about this now She's old enough to start grasping the concepts of consequences even if she can't verbalize them. I still say, "If you do X, Y will be what happens next."

I recognize I have been very blessed. My kids rarely misbehaved but I was (and still am) very strict. Their friends love coming to my place because I have rules of conduct for visitors (no drugs, no drinking, no phone calls after 10, no leaving the house without notifying me). I seriously believe that if I hadn't started the discipline when they were toddlers, I'd be dealing with rebellious teens now.