Dr. Phil today....SAHM's vs. Working moms

[Dawn]

It just started here, and looks like an interesting show. Just wanted to fill you in, in case your interested in watching it.

[Dawn]

OMG...this is a really heated battle between working moms and SAHM's! WOW!
Let me know if any of you got to watch this and I wanna know what ya think.

[Brooke]

Why do they do these shows? It can't be for any other reason other than ratings because they KNOW it's a touchy subject and it will turn into a heated battle.

[Dennis]

The bigger question is why is it such a heated battle?

[kim]

it's not on 'till 5 here....this oughta be a good one

[Dawn]

Well basically it's like....a working mom feels she's right and a SAHM feels she's right. They have very strong opinions about their choices & each wants to be heard. But some of the things they are saying is SO not true and it's the way it's being said! Ugh!

WAHM is saying that she feels it's an accurate assumption to say that SAHM's use the computer and video games as babysitters and that SAHM's are wasting their skills and abilities by JUST staying at home, blah blah blah.

SAHM is saying that WAHM's should be ashamed of themselves for leaving their kids in a dirty filthy daycare and how can you let someone else raise your kids for 8-10 hrs. a day, etc. This lady is almost like convincing the WAHM's to stay at home with their kids.

It's like instead of each mom having an attitude of "I feel this is right FOR ME and I still respect what OTHER pple decide to do what's best for them", they are bashing each other.

It's 40 min. into the show and it's getting alot calmer than it was. In the very beginning it was pretty heated.

Gee, and what are we suppose to learn from this show? It's not like how I thought it was going to be. Ah well.......

[Smithy]

Is it a repeat??? I saw one he did before and I was so disappointed with it. I'm with Dennis--- Why does this have to be such a battle? The SAHM's were saying that working moms dump the responsibility of their kids on someone else. The working moms were saying the SAHM's were uneducated, put their kids in front of tv all day, etc. I was mad at Dr. Phil for not being more emphatic about how women shouldn't be attacking each other for their personal family decisions AND that everyone knows what is best for their family. I also wished I could have been in the audience to tell each side how upset I was with both of them- for their ridiculous attacks. I wonder if it's a follow-up show to that one??? I'm going to try and watch.


Corey

[Smithy]

We posted at the same time, Dawn!! That must be the show I saw earlier....

corey

[Dawn]

Corey....not sure if it's a repeat. I thought his shows lately were all new, but I could be wrong.

I, too, am disappointed with the show. I wish that Dr. Phil can chime in more and get it through everyone's head on the show that whether your a WAHM or SAHM this is a decision that you chose to make which works best for you...it doesn't make you any more or less of a mother for choosing staying at home or being in the work force and that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' just what you feel is RIGHT for you & your family! Geeze!

[Dennis]

Originally Posted by Dawn

I, too, am disappointed with the show. I wish that Dr. Phil can chime in more and get it through everyone's head on the show that whether your a WAHM or SAHM this is a decision that you chose to make which works best for you...it doesn't make you any more or less of a mother for choosing staying at home or being in the work force and that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' just what you feel is RIGHT for you & your family! Geeze!

Dawn, that's my point. I don't understand why some people take it so personally when others make different choices. Just because you choose to stay home doesn't mean that you are implying that we're wrong because Mary and I both work. We're all just doing what we feel is best for our families.

Dennis

[Dawn]

Originally Posted by Dennis

Dawn, that's my point. I don't understand why some people take it so personally when others make different choices. Just because you choose to stay home doesn't mean that you are implying that we're wrong because Mary and I both work. We're all just doing what we feel is best for our families.

Dennis

Exactly, I agree. And what bothered me the most was that this SAHM, was VERY judgemental towards the mothers who worked. I am a SAHM and I would NEVER be so judgemental like that. I am proud and happy that I'm a SAHM just like WAHM are proud and happy that they are in the work force. As long as our kids are happy & nurtured and loved and the parents feel that they are doing what's best for them...then that's great. I think this particular SAHM had nothing better to do. Focus on yourself lady, and not what other mothers are doing! Okay...I'm done.

If you guys do watch it later, it will get you annoyed and somewhat aggravated as to what both these moms are saying. :

[Brooke]

But there are ALOT of people who feel very strongly about the whole subject.

I personally haven't met any working moms who criticize SAHM for staying home.

But I have been criticized by SAHM's for working. The first thing my cousin's wife asked me when I told her I was pregnant was "so who's going to quit working, you or Darren?" When I said neither, she turned her nose up at me and gave me a speech about how SHE didn't work once she got pregnant. And I've had total strangers ask me if I work and then give me nasty looks when I say yes.

From my POV, it always seems like there is a SAHM who is criticizing and the working mom has to support her decision. My POV, of course.

[Shel]

Originally Posted by Brooke

I personally haven't met any working moms who criticize SAHM for staying home.

I don't think WM's criticize SAHM's, but I do think there are a lot of WM's who think that all SAHM's do is sit around and watch soap operas all day long. I think it's just a failure of some people to realize how something really is until they've walked a mile in someone else's shoes.



I personally have done it all: Worked full-time, stayed home full time, and worked only part time, and none of them are easy.

[Amy]

This was a repeat...it was a follow up to a show I did see (I didn't catch this episode during the regular season) where this particular WAHM Sonja and the SAHM Leah were just attacking each other. It's like the show's producers tried to get the most polarizing viewpoints out there...they were both stereotyping so badly!!

I did like the blond SAHM (Kathryn??) who stood up and said that being a SAHM was the best decision for her personally...she made that point clear. I wish all moms could support each other more for the decisions we make. Just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean I think every mother should...it's not for me to judge. The SAHM on stage was really pi$$ing me off with her judgemental comments, and I thought it was great that a WM called her out on how judgemental she is by asking her what she would be teaching her kids if they saw her on the show.

I liked what Dr Phil's wife Robin had to say on the subject...and was I the only one surprised that she had been an industrial engineer prior to having kids?? I don't know what I thought she'd done, but it certainly wasn't that!!

[harmonielyn]

I wanted to see the show but I forgot until the show had 15 minutes left.

[~Andrea~]

Originally Posted by Brooke

But there are ALOT of people who feel very strongly about the whole subject.

I personally haven't met any working moms who criticize SAHM for staying home.

But I have been criticized by SAHM's for working. The first thing my cousin's wife asked me when I told her I was pregnant was "so who's going to quit working, you or Darren?" When I said neither, she turned her nose up at me and gave me a speech about how SHE didn't work once she got pregnant. And I've had total strangers ask me if I work and then give me nasty looks when I say yes.

From my POV, it always seems like there is a SAHM who is criticizing and the working mom has to support her decision. My POV, of course.

I think your POV is biased to whether you are a SAHM or a WOHM. I *DO* get critized by people for being a FT SAHM. Like why am I wasting my education. Why bother going to college if I'm not even going to use my degree. I am also made to feel guilty because Gabrielle has no interaction with children her own age. Part of the sacrifice of me not working is there is no money for playgroups or gymboree etc. It's like so many other "hot topics" of parenting. I admit, before I was a SAHM, I couldn't understand why mom's would CHOOSE to work (not people who HAD to, but those who WANTED to work). But being a SAHM has made me realize it's not for everyone. The grass is always greener IYKWIM. I wish my job was something I could do PT, but it's not (I was a teacher).

No matter whether you are a SAHM or a WOHM you are making certain sacrifices for your family. Some more than others. We all do the best for our own families. Why can't that be enough?!? People get so touchy about their decisions and feel the need to defend them, when really there is no reason to. There is no RIGHT or WRONG way here. There are no conclusive studies over which is best because what is best for one child is not always best for another.

People just need to lighten up. Make the best decision for you family and stop judging other moms.

[Cortney]

GRRRRRR......I'm glad I didn't see this. It just would've pushed my buttons the wrong way. Although I haven't worked since Morgan was born, I did go to school full time (I ended up being gone 40-45 hours a week) and now I stay at home, so I kind of consider myself experienced in both worlds. And each worked best for us as a family at that point in our lives.

I just get SOOOO tired of people passing judgement on each other, because it's not OUR job to judge each other. We don't know what the other person needs or wants to do or what their individual goals and desires are. We're all trying as hard as we can in our specific situations to do what's best for our families so why do we have to judge each other......can't we just offer support- no matter what peoples work choices are (or feeding choices, etc, etc)??????

[~Andrea~]

BTW Brooke, I didn't mean that whole post aimed at you!! It was a general statement. I just quoted what you said to point out that what you feel (as a WOHM) is going to be different than how I feel (as a SAHM). I didn't want you to think I was bashing you

[Stacy]

I saw part of the show and all I could do was shake my head. Every woman has to do what is best for their situation.
I have to admit that I get really tired of the question "so do you work or just stay home with Dylan?"

The comment Dr. Phil made about the SAHMs/Ds working the equlivalent of 2 full-time jobs can work for WOHMs/Ds too. They work full-time out of the house then come home and work full-time taking care of their families.

[Dawn]

Unfortunately, whenever there's criticizm about SAHMs from some (not all)WMs there will be criticizm about WM from some (not all) SAHMs. I agree, it shouldn't be at all. Not all SAHM/WM criticize, but some do and it's a shame. I, too, have had 'hints dropped' shall I say, about my education being wasted and about Alexia not getting alot of interaction with other kids and blah blah blah. If they think I have all the time in the world to get my nails done (like what was stated in the show) and watch tv and eat bon bons, that's such a load of crap. I do my job the best that I can & give it my all which is primarily taking care of Alexia just like a WM will do the best job they can while they are working...whether it's a CPA, a secretary, engineer, etc. We should all respect one another and what we do whether it is staying at home or working in the work force. It's not a contest and both are not easy. As what's been said alot in these posts, there is no right or wrong just what is right for you and your family...and if your happy & if it's working, then that's great. That's all that matters.


Amy - Yes, I too was very shocked to learn that Dr. Phil's wife was an industrial engineer!