Little Miss Know It All

[bunybomb]

I have a sassy, bratty, know it all 9 year old daughter. I'm at my wit's end. I know it has a lot to do with her age.

I need suggestions for combatting it. Grounding, no priviledges, etc. just makes our life a living hell!

:help2: please!

[MelissaM]

First thing to remember is - it IS her age and this IS just a phase and she WILL stop it soon enough.

When William gets like that my first response is silence. Then a knowing look and then "Oh really? Would you like to say that to me a little nicer so I can respond?" The brattier he gets the more I ignore him...or talk around him which he hates - you know like "James...William seems to think that XYZ...isn't that odd....what do YOU think?" and we carry on a conversation about it :lol:

Punishments for things like that just don't work - in fact, punishments for any sort of behaviour in teens and pre-teens never works in my experince. You have to meet them head on and then pick your battles. Disrespect is not tolerated around this house, but that goes both ways - so my children respect James and I and in turn, we respect them. If William or Jenn DO get mouthy...I can pretty much guarantee that theere is something else going on...and that it is not about me or James it is about something else going on in their lives that is troubling them.

TALK TALK TALK - communication is the key. So when your DD gets bratty...instead of immediately chastizing her maybe you could say "honey, it sounds like something is bothering you...wanna talk about it?" then if she says "No I hate you! or No Go away!" then say "alright then...I'll let you be by yourself for a while, I know when I get upset about something it helps to talk about it so I am here if you need me"

Then leave it. Ignore it and let her work it out. The more you push for appropriate behaviour the more she will push back. So stop pushing and just state what is appropriate without the fear of punishment...I often say "William (or Jenn) I don;t think you are in the mood to talk right now, or "I really don;t like the way that you are talking to me, I am not continuing this conversation until you are nicer" That way, you put the onus of respoonsibility back on her.

Hope this helps. Try not to tear all of your hair out just yet...she has first loves to go through yet! :lol:

[Shel]

First thing to remember is - it IS her age and this IS just a phase and she WILL stop it soon enough.

Then a knowing look and then "Oh really? Would you like to say that to me a little nicer so I can respond?"
Absolutely! I use this ALL the time. (even with the 2 1/2 year old!) "When you decide to talk to me like I am your mother and not one of your friends, then I'll talk to you like my you are my son and not some mouthy heathen I just met on the street."

or "I'm sorry. I can't hear people when they talk to me in a whiney/snotty/bratty tone of voice" and then ignore them until the change their attitude :)

If it's really snotty, I'll say "That is not the way we talk to each other in this house, and when you decide to say that like a human being, we'll go on."



It takes a lot of patience, but they eventually get it. Kaleb at 11 now will start to smart off, stop himself and go "Oh, wait, let me try that again..." :lol:

[bunybomb]

"When you decide to talk to me like I am your mother and not one of your friends, then I'll talk to you like my you are my son and not some mouthy heathen I just met on the street."
That is the best line Shel! Thanks for the great advice Melissa. I'm feeling the love! :lol:

I'm so tired of saying No (not only to her but my toddler too.) :grr: Thanks for the tips. These are wonderful actions I can implement right away. You two are great! :hug1:

[MelissaM]

Oh yeah...I forgot to tell you...

"No".......yeah...that just doesn't work well :lol: :lol: Change it to "We'll see" You'd be suprised at how long they will leave you alone after a "we'll see" :lol: :lol: