Sleeping Problems~Please Help!

[JessPearl]

OK, well Dylan co sleeps with us all night and that's not really a problem because we enjoy him there and we just bought a new king size bed to keep us all comfortable. :) Our problem is that for every nap he HAS to be rocked and sung to for him to fall asleep, then we transfer him to his swing where he finishes his naps or at night he sleeps in there until we all go up to our bed. He doesnt know how to fall asleep on his own and I am so upset about it! Other ways he falls asleep is in the car or in the stroller. My Grandma takes care of him during the day and she puts him in the stroller and walks him until he falls asleep for his naps. We started this because it worked in the beginning and now I don't know how to change it, he SCREAMS if we do try to lay him down somewhere else like his crib or lately we have been trying the pack and play in the living room with the same wave sounds as his swing makes but he has only slept in their twice and for no longer than a half hour. We really need to get him out of the swing habit because he is too big for it. I feel sooo mad at myself for not changing this earlier and now I'm afraid it's too late since he's 6 months. ( I read the best time to teach them to fall asleep on their own is 3 months) We tried the crib at that age though and he totally freaked and I don't believe in CIO. So what other option is there? For those of you that co sleep where does baby sleep until you go to bed? DO they know how to sleep on their own? PLease help. :dunno: I am in tears about this, I am just so frustrated and feel like I've made a huge mistake.

[Karri]

Jess....I honestly dont think it was something you did. I truly believe that some kids just cant sleep on their own. From what I remember, you started co-sleeping because it was what you needed to do to get Dylan to sleep. Right? That was what happened to us with Aidan. He is now 27 months and still cant go to sleep on his own. (except for a very few rare occurrences). We havent always co-slept (we did, then didnt, then did, then didnt, etc), but when he was in his crib, we had to rock him to sleep before putting him in there. And naps.....STILL to this day, we have to lay with him to get him down for a nap. He's always napped in our bed, still does. We stay there till he's asleep and then we get up. Same for bedtime...we've always just laid with him till he fell asleep (well, not anymore, but we still have to sit in the room till he falls asleep). We'd leave him in our bed. Could you do this? If you are worried, you can put up a bedrail.

Have you tried reading No Cry Sleep Solution? Because according to that book, its never too late. When Aidan was 16 months, I read it and used its techniques and got to the point where he'd go to bed on his own (yay!!!) However, he regressed when the twins came home and we havent had the energy or time to go thru all of it again.

[Brooke]

We rocked Rebekah to sleep until she was 18 months old. It just happened that way. I was sure she'd never learn to go to sleep on her own. But, at 18 months, she started getting too bigto be comfortable and she transitioned to putting herself to sleep at night. It was really easy. She does take a cup when I lay her down but at least I'm not still rocking her.

I was rocked to sleep until I was over 3 years old. I just couldn't go to sleep on my own. Even after my sister was born, my mom was still rocking ME to sleep and my sister learned to go to sleep on her own from the start.

[Kerrif]

Jess - Your story was exactly like mine....my DD is 16mo's and is still sleeping with us at night. However, nap time is now in her crib (and she puts herself to sleep).

We rocked her to sleep until she was a year old. Her naps were either in our arms or on the couch right next to us. IF she napped on the couch, then the entire house had to remain quiet or she'd wake up. I think I had a reality check at one point...thinking....am I going to be rocking and fighting a 3-5 yr old to go down for a nap. I love rocking my DD and continue to do so now, but I wanted her to learn to fall asleep on her own.

So...one day (around 1yr) she refused to go down for a nap (and I knew she was exhausted). So I put her in the crib to see what would happen (and turned on some music). Of course, she screamed and screamed. But after 8 minutes, she was sound asleep and has been napping in her crib since then. Now, sometimes she may cry for a minute or so, but most of the time she just gets a pouty look and then goes to sleep.

To me...this was an easy tranisition. I do not believe in CIO and only expected to let her cry for 10 minutes. But I'm so thankful that it worked out and now I have some "me" time during naps.

[Stacy]

Dylan is 27 months, today in fact, and it's only been the past month that he will fall asleep on his own, in his own room. He doesn't do it every night or nap but he's improving. We don't do CIO.
We co-slept for a long time until Dylan kept kicking us and it was hurting.
If you still want to rock/sing him to sleep than do that.

[MelissaM]

I rock Jacob to sleep every night and he will be three in October. I also sit and talk and then sing to William (my 9 year old) before he goes to sleep every night as well. I guess I am just of the mind that it is good quality time that I get to spend with the children and they grow up SO FAST - as indicated by my 16 year old daughter who now has a boyfriend and is crawling up to bed from the rec-room at 2 a.m. without even so much as a "good night" :bawl:

[Bobbie]

We are in a similar boat as well. From day one, K was never good at self-soothing and at 19 months of age, we still rock or cuddle her to sleep. We tried to teach her to sleep on her own at several points and even tried modified CIO which was absolutely horrible and in fact seemed to backfire. When we started co-sleeping when K was 10 months old, she would almost instantly wake and cry if we laid her somewhere other than our bed or the couch -- she especially loathed her crib.

Anyway, to answer your question, at least one of us cuddles with K at her bedtime. When she falls asleep, we are now able to transfer her to her crib, which at this point is sidecarred to our bed with the toddler bed rail installed. Naps are similar, except I generally rock her to sleep, then transfer her to a twin mattress on her bedroom floor. Back in the days when she didn't tolerate being moved, we could sometimes gently slip away leaving her in the place where she fell asleep. Of course, we could never go too far away. It was difficult, but once we started following her lead and co-sleeping, WE were finally able to get some sleep too and everyone was happier. I really don't know how to teach a child to fall asleep alone without some form of CIO -- and in our case even that didn't work. Sometimes I worry that K doesn't know how to sleep on her own, but I figure we can deal with that when she's older and able to talk to us about her feelings.

[JessPearl]

Thanks everyone for your input! It helps to know other people are in the same situation. :) I'll just keep trying things to see what works I guess. DH and I are going to try putting him in our bed for naps and at 7 when he goes to sleep for the night, I really need to get him out that swing! We have a baby monitor so we can hear him if he need us.