The "ideal" family

[~Andrea~]

What would you consider to be the "ideal" family, for YOUR family? Money/age etc. not factored in. I know there are circumstnaces that factor into our real lives, but I'm talking ideally.

Also, what factors *DO* hinder you having your *ideal* family (if any)?

For us, financially we cannot afford (comfortably) more than 2 kids. Ideally I'd like to have 4 kids. Realisticlly it ain't happening. I'd also like to have a girl (which I already have) and a boy. However if #2 is a girl, we will be happy to just have girls. We won't try for a boy.

Does gender come into play in you real life decisions to have more? If you have 2 (or more) of the same gender, will you try for the opposite gender? Would your decision to have another be different if you had (at least) 1 of each?

I often wonder, if I'd had 2 BOYS if I could honestly say I would try for a girl. I know that is selfish and horrible, but it is how I feel. I will truly be sad if I never have a son, but not as devestated as I would have been to not have a daughter :blush:

[Hilary]

Well, we are pretty happy with our 2 girls and I don't think we are going to have anymore, even though we think it would be pretty cool to have a boy. Finances play a big part in it too. While we are pretty comfortable right now, things do get tight and I think if we had another child we wouldn't be able to give them the things they (and we) want for them. We've talked about that a lot. We're still unsure about having another. If I hadn't got gestational diabetes with both pregnancies and was in better shape we probably would be more open to 1 or 2 more kids, but my pregnancy with Ava was really hard on me. I'm rambling. :lol: Can you tell I'm unsure about being done?

And, if I was positive we'd have a boy next time I think DH would do it. :lol: I wouldn't mind 3 girls though. :awink:

[kim]

i have a boy and i'm pg with a girl. sounds ideal, but i actually wanted another boy (shhhh!). we are not having any more but it has nothing to do with having one of each sex, but more to do with my age (nearly 38) and maintaining a certain lifestyle (which we probably couldn't with more than 2).

ideally i'd like to stay home with my kids while they are young. unfortunately that will never happen.

[Lette]

The ideal family for us is what we've got. :)

One girl and one boy. I secretly wanted another girl :blush: (for all those clothes that still have tags on them :lol: ) BUT I am totally thrilled with my little boy. He is such a happy baby!

When I was young, I wanted a boy first and then a girl... but hey, what can you do? :lol:

My dh and I have always agreed that 2 would be enough, one for each of us to chase. :lol:
I also started TTC later in life and I don't think my body or my mentality could handle another pregnancy. :crazy:

I do often wonder if I had 2 boys if I'd go for the girl. :scratch: I've seen a lot of my friends try this, only to end up with 3 boys! :errr: :lol:

[Nocona]

We have one boy. I always thought I'd ideally want a boy and a girl, but now I know that I'd be thrilled to have 2 little boys. I'd be happy with 2 (and only 2) happy, healthy kids, though. I wouldn't want more than 2... I'm afraid to be outnumbered :lol:

Like Kim, ideally, I'd like to stay home, but that's not going to happen. Luckily, DH is able to stay home while I slave away at work :lol:

[Barb]

Our ideal family is what we're about to have. We have a 2-year-old son and I'm pregnant now with our second. I honestly don't have a gender preference, 2 boys would be great, one of each would also be great. This is it for us either way, for the same reasons mentioned above that we can't afford more unless we really decreased our standard of living.

[Cortney]

Ideally, we'd like to have 5 kids (or so). I don't really care what genders, but I would like to be a mom to at least one girl and at least one boy. :)

Hopefully, we'll be able to attain this (the only reason I can think of that we wouldn't be able to would be inability to get pregnant)

[sheila]

We are really happy with our 2 girls. DH would love to have a 3rd, but I don't think its going to happen.

Beyond our two, we have differing philosophies on numbers... he thinks an odd (and prime) number is ideal, while I think that even is better. So, I think we'll split the difference at the only even prime number. :lol:

[Dennis]

I'm very satisfied with a boy and a girl. Mary really wanted to have 3 kids, but I think two is plenty. The genders weren't that important, although I really wanted a girl because there are so few in my family.

Dennis

[Jillian]

i have a boy and i'm pg with a girl. sounds ideal, but i actually wanted another boy (shhhh!).
I have a girl and a boy but I definitely wanted a second girl. I think ideal for me would be 3 sets of 2 kids...so like Janelle and Kincaid, then in 5 years have another 2 in 2 years, then 5 years from then have another 2 in 2 (which would still put us done having kids by 38.). But we are done, at least with biological children, I'm just not good at pregnancy at all...we would of been done no matter what the sex was.

[Mandi]

I think that ideally I'd like 4. But we're going to stop at 3. The only slim possibility that we'd have 4 is if I had another girl next time. And even then I doubt we'd try for a boy. I mean there are no guarantees #4 would be a girl. If I followed that rationale I could have a dozen of girls running around. :lol:

So sometime in the next 6-12 months we'll be trying for #3 and then we're done. It'll work for us (financially) without changing our standard of living too much. I hope that we have a boy, but I'd be equally as happy with a girl.

[~Andrea~]

I know 2 families that have 5 of the same gender because they wanted the opposite gender. My sub (when I was on my honeymoon) has 5 boys b/c she *REALLY* wanted a girl. And my cousin's ex-SIL has 5 girls b/c they wanted a boy. So you are right, there are no guarentees. :nod:

[bunybomb]

I always imagined having one girl. I had a miscarriage at 25 and I have always felt that was my girl. :tear:


Fast forward 8 years. I met my DH. He had a 4 year old daughter from his previous marriage. After the first year, she came to live with us full time. I have always felt that God gave me the girl that I should have always had. But I still wanted to have a child with my DH. My need for a boy became very apparent. I wanted to have a son with my DH because it was something that he didn't have with his first wife......(yes it's silly but that's the truth)!

I got my wish and we created a beautiful baby boy. Now I have two wonderful children and I couldn't be more blessed. We had already decided even before my pregnancy that having one more would be enough and that would be our ideal family whether we had one of each or not.

[Theresa]

If I could have chosen, I would have had a boy first and then fraternal twin girls. But, God knows best!

I'm very happy to have a girl and a boy. I admit that I did want one of each, although, I always thought I'd have a boy first. I was thrilled when the u/s said boy. I really think I would have been disappointed with another girl. Not forever, but for a while. (I hope that doesn't sound awful).

As far as more children goes, I really think we're done. The idea of never being pg again makes me really sad, but I don't think we could finacially handle more than 2 and I do NOT want to go through PPD again. It was awful!

[Martian Lullaby]

For both of us, our ideal family is two children and me being a SAHM. Right now we have one kid and I work full time. We're not planning on trying for #2 for two or three years, though, so hoepfully things will change by then. Trying for #2 depends on whether or not I can stay home. If that means we have to wait five or six years before we have another, then that's what it means.

DH wants a little boy next, but I would like another girl. :)

[Michele]

I have always wanted 2 girls and a boy. I used to think that I would be disappointed if I had a boy first, but in actuality I couldn't be happier. I love my boy and couldn't imagine having a girl at this point.

Now that I have a boy, I want another boy and a girl...I want Jackson to have a brother but I also want my little girl.

[biggstella]

Two is enough for us. Also, the fact that we started out so late in life, and the fact that I have juvenile diabetes makes it hard for me to have any more. I wanted and a boy first, but we were blessed with a beautiful daughter and I couldn't be happier. We will hope for a boy next, but will be happy with whatever we have. And, if I can't have another baby, then we will be happy that we have Brooke. I have a freind who is having her 4th boy, because she has wanted a girl forever. Don't think it is in the plans for her...

Stella

[Marcella]

We currently have a 13 month old daughter, and I'm 5 weeks pregnant with #2. If all goes well, they'll be about 21 months apart. If I had to say what the "ideal" family for me would be, it would be 3 children, each about 2 years apart. I think if I could choose the genders, I'd want my next one to be another little girl, and the third to be a little boy. However, three girls would be fine with me, as would boys. If I end up having three girls, I really don't think I'll want to go for #4 just to try to get the boy. I'd probably end up with 4 girls! :lol: Plus, healthy is most important.. so it kind of rubs me the wrong way when people keep trying for a certain gender, when they've already got perfectly healthy children of the same gender. I hope I don't offend anyone with that statement, but it's how I feel.

Now, DH, on the other hand, would like 4 children total, and he definitely wants at least one boy, and keeps saying we'll keep trying until that happens. :lol: He's really joking, though. If we end up with three girls, and it's still very important to him to have that boy, then perhaps we'll consider adoption.

[olcott]

I'd like to have 3 (a boy, a girl, and another boy)...realistically, I don't know...I know Robb just wants two, but has said if we have another boy first, that we could try for a girl if I wanted to :lol:I think having a daughter is more important to him than it is to me...Before I was PG with Trey I wanted a girl more than anything, but now that I have a boy, I'd be happy with all boys :)

[Karri]

Ideally, we'd like to add a 4th child to our family, just because I always thought 4 was a better number than 3...no middle child :lol: I also thought it would be nice for Norah to have a sister, but there is no guarantee for that!!!
Realistically, we are a 3 child family (now guaranteed by DH's vasectomy :lol: ) because financially, we are much more comfortable this way and because I honestly don't think I could handle another at this stage in the game (3 in 2 is A LOT of freaking work!). I am also another who doesnt handle pregnancy well and being a SAHM of 3, there is no way my family can handle me being stuck on bedrest again!

[Connie1222]

I'm not sure anymore. I used to think a boy and a girl were my ideal family. But now, we are seriously debating not having anymore. I would love to have a girl, but then again I would be just as happy with another boy.

[Dawn]

Like Barb, our ideal family is what we're about to have: We have a 26 1/2 mo. old girl, we're pregnant with our 2nd, and I'm a SAHM. Life doesn't get better than this! :) Although I feel it would be nice to have 1 of each (1 girl & 1 boy), but I secretly wouldn't mind having another girl AT ALL. I know James would prefer a boy only because he knows that this will probably be it for us and so that his son can carry down his last name...however he said he would be just as happy with 2 little girls. :)

Now James would prefer to have 3 children, but I don't think that's gonna happen. 2 is plenty. I don't want to have alot of kids for the sake of sacrificing things that I want us to do/go....like I want us all to be able to go on vacations and to DisneyWorld, etc. My parents had 4 girls...and well, because of the expense of it we never got to go away on vacations to Florida, cruises, etc. Our ideal 'vacations' were driving up to Lancaster, PA for the day or taking day trips. We love to travel & there's so much more we want to do and see...and we want to be able to take our 2 children with us as well. :) 3 is an oddball #....who's gonna sit with the other kid when we all go on a rollercoaster at an amusement park? :lol: So then James says 'then we'll have 4 kids!" and he's not kidding either. :lol:

ETA: Gosh, this may sound selfish...but I am really, really happy that I had a girl first. I'm so happy that no matter what, I got my lil' girl that I always wanted! :)

[~Andrea~]

ETA: Gosh, this may sound selfish...but I am really, really happy that I had a girl first. I'm so happy that no matter what, I got my lil' girl that I always wanted! :)
:blush1: this is me exactly. Although part of me wishes I had a boy before Gab so she'd have a big brother :lol:

[magoo]

I would love three kids, but we've agreed to discuss it after our second. I LOVED being PG, and while I was in labour, I couldn't wait to do it again. I think I was made to have babies. :nod:

As for boys or girls, I did kind of hope that Anna was a girl while I was pg. We didn't find out her gender at the u/s, and in that moment when she was born, it truly didn't matter. I didn't even think to ask. Wanting to have one of each would not factor into our decision whether to have more than 2 or not. We would be thrilled with all girls, as we would be with any combination of girls and boys.