I need some advice...support..whatver! :(

[MamaGoofy]

Ok..this is my issue. You all know of what's happened recently with the M/C; D&C and everything. Well I have had my first period and "medically" we are able to TTC again. I really want to start trying and "sort of" look forward to being pregnant again. This is where the delima comes in. I am scared to death of becoming pregnant. As much as I want another child I just don't know if I can handle the fact that I can possibly miscarry again. I know in my heart that I will be worried about m/c through out my entire pregnancy...it's going to be a dark cloud hovering over me the entire 9 months. It's to the point that I am afraid to have sex with dh because I am afraid that it will result in me becoming pregnant. I am totally divided in half. Half of me is excited and can't wait to become pregnant again while the other half is scared to death and doesn't want to deal with the "possiblities". I need to know that this is normal and I am not a freak. I don't know what to do. Do I just throw caution to the wind and "go with it" or what? I have been dealing with this since AF showed up and I feel like I am about to lose my mind. I know I need to talk to dh about this as I am sure he has figured out by now that something is wrong. I just don't want to worry him. I am so confused...I just don't know what to do. Someone PLEASE help me. I don't think I am dealing with this as well as I originally thought I was...I am sooo scared and confused!!! PLEASE HELP!!:bawl:

[Brooke]

I've never miscarried so I may not be the best one to comment so ignore me if you want.

What about waiting another month and see how you feel then? I know the hurt and fear won't go away in a month but maybe you can use that time to prepare yourself a little more or just come to terms with some of your feelings. Just because you can TTC this month doesn't mean you have to.

And talk to David. He's probably worrying about the same things because he doesn't want to go through another m/c either. And, on top of that, he's worrying about you, too.

:justahug:

[Lette]

Melissa...

I've been there and I m/c'd on my first pregnancy. I did my wait time and YES, when I finally did become pregnant again, I was totally paranoid! :errr: I tried not to think about it. Just knowing that so many women (thanks to UB) had miscarriages and went on to have healthy pregnancies right afterwards, really helped me cope. I tried not to think about what week I was on and before I knew it, I was in the 2nd trimester.

I had the same worries when I became pregnant with my 3rd ( 2nd? ) .. BUT this time I was so busy caring for my toddler, the time went by SO quickly, I didn't have time to ponder as much.

Brooke has good advice in that if you're still too emotional or worried, then why not wait a month?

:bighug: Good Luck!

[jstauffer]

You're not a freak!!! What your experiencing is normal. :bighug:

I had the same fears after my m/c. Even though it was scary, we TTC as soon as we were able and were pregnant again on our first cycle. I was terrified and paranoid my whole first trimester, but I got through it. I think that's one of the things that really stinks about m/c. You lose some of that thrill of being pregnant because you know first-hand the reality that it doesn't always work out. It's like there's a cloud over the joy that wasn't there before.

Like Lette, it wasn't as bad for me when I was pregnant with Sean. I was too busy and time went by too quickly to worry about it so much.

If you truly don't feel ready, maybe waiting another cycle would be good. Only you can be the judge of that though.

[gulp!]

I echo Jen and Lette. After my m/c, I couldn't *wait* to get p/g again, mostly b/c I knew that was really the only way I would stop dwelling on the baby I had lost. Getting pg gave me a whole new set of things to dwell on! I definitely worried the entire first trimester, but I think I relaxed a bit after I had passed the point my m/c happened. After the first tri was over, I started to relax and enjoy it a bit more. I did rent a baby beat doppler, so anytime I was feeling nervous, I could listen to the heartbeat and get some relief. I found comfort in the experiences of other UB ladies, as well. Having a m/c is really rather common, isn't it? :(

You should definitely talk to your husband about this. He needs to know how you are feeling and maybe he can help you by making you understand that he's there to help you through this, no matter what. What you are feeling is totally normal and natural. Good luck, and we're here to help you!!

[Psyche]

I just had another miscarriage and I an really hesitant to TTC again. I do know when we do get pregnant and it sticks, I will have a Baby Doppler and check all the time!

Best of luck to you.

[Shnooky]

DH and I are going to TTC again. I am so scared. But I know that no matter how many children I have safetly, I will always be scared. TTC when you are ready, don't force yourself into it if you are not quite sure if your ready. Talk to DH about it.

I think maybe I might rent one of those doppler thingies too.

[MamaGoofy]

We have decided to just go along our merry way and when God chooses for us to become pregnant..then that would be the right time. It's good to know I am not alone.