Do you feel pressured to have another baby?

[harmonielyn]

I feel pressured to have another baby soon. I do want more children and I do want them close in age but Madison is only 7 months old right now. Yes we're thinking about having another but not just yet! So many people ask us if we're ready to have another baby. Our baby is still a baby! Im just not ready to have another baby just yet. I thought about TTC when Madison is about a year old but I dont think ill be ready then. :lol:

[magoo]

Anna is 16 months old, and I get a lot of "So, it's time to have another one" comments. :rolleyes: Whatever. They all come from people I don't know too well. We're likely waiting until Anna is about 2.5 yrs old before trying again, so all of those nosey people out there have a long wait. :lol:

[SarahK]

One of my aunts asked last weekend if I was pregnant yet. :rolleyes:

[olcott]

We get this all the time..."when is #2 coming along" "when are you gonna have a little brother or sister for trey" "you don't want to have them too far apart or they won't play with each other :rolleyes: "

[redhairedgirl]

Fortunately, everyone I know is well aware of my health problems (I herniated a disc during Aiden's delivery) so they know I'm not rushing out to get pg anytime soon. :lol:

Mandy

[AahRee]

We're not having any more, and my MIL has been told that repeatedly. However, she is CONSTANTLY saying things like *We'd better hold onto this (*insert baby thing Katie has outgrown*), in case you guys need it again! :rolleyes: She's even gone as far as to say she's NOT going to give the carseat she had for Katie, which Katie has almost outgrown, to my sister (who is expecting twins in November, and could really use it). Fine, whatever, it's hers to do what she wants with. But sheesh, is she going to bronze the thing? Because WE aren't going to be providing any more baby butts to sit in it! :lol:

[Amy]

Not any more....even before Molly was born, we didn't, which was amazing because Emily is the first grandchild and for a while, looked like DH and I would be the only ones providing our parents with grandkids!! However, we won't be having any more, and BIL and his girlfriend are expecting in October, so that will fix the baby bug for a while from that side of the family. I don't know if my brother and sister will ever have kids, so my girls may be the only grandchildren my parents have.

It is funny how strangers either comment because they think you should be pregnant again so soon after having a baby, or if you do get pregnant quickly, they are quick to point out how busy you will be, or worse, ask if it was planned! No one is ever content to say "congratulations" and keep their yap shut!!

[Brooke]

My friend's baby was born in November and her OB/GYN asked her if she was ready to have another when she was there last week!

My mother is the opposite. She's constantly telling me to wait to have another and saying things like "Maybe Rebekah will be an only child."

[Lette]

Exactly the opposite. I was visiting my grandmother this weekend and she kinda said things that did not come out the right way. She said, "You're not having any more children, are you?" :eek: I was totally strewn as, what business is it of anyones?? Anyway, she felt bad after she realized how it came out, she just wanted to say she knew it wasn't easy raising kids... or something to that effect. Overall I guess she was just worried for me, but still.

[TtownAnne]

Completely feeling pressured. EVERYONE says it, wants to know when, if we've started trying, etc.. And now that we're considering Caroline possibly being an only, it makes me feel bad, as though I'm depriving her or leaving her unfulfilled or something.

[Martian Lullaby]

Nope! Nobody's said anything to us. I think they're all enjoying Maya so much that they're not in a hurry yet.

[Michele]

I only have one person who says anything, and it doesn't really bother me, b/c she also tells me to wait - she is a little flaky like that! My only thing is, she is constantly telling me to have a girl...as in "If you have a girl next time you can stop, that's perfect, a boy and a girl..." Like I have any control over that!!!

[Girlo]

I've been asked several times when we're having #2, but I think it's more out of curiosity than impatience. :) We've made it pretty clear that we're having one more baby, so the IF factor isn't the question.
Alex is 7 months old, and I'm really enjoying him all on his own. :) I'm also not ready, physically, to be pg again! It was pretty hard on me and....while the yearning gets a TINY bit stronger every day....I'm enjoying having my body back for a little while longer. :)
We're getting up there in years, though, so we're not waiting TOO much longer! :lol: We'll start trying for #2 in May/June of next year.

[Connie1222]

It's the opposite for us too. Especially my mom and my boss. When I was late last month, my mom was like "that's the last thing you need right now". She knows we are so tight financially and what a handful Jack is. My boss is always saying things like, "Oh you can wait to have another" or "4 or 5 years difference is really great between kids". :lol:

[Karri]

Well that obviously isnt my case :lol: but I am just SHOCKED by the number of people (people I dont know, acquaintences) who have commented, "well you have a boy & a girl, so now you are done!" :wtf: Yeah, we are done, but why the assumption? Many people have more than 3 kids! And 3 isnt even a lot!

[olcott]

Well that obviously isnt my case :lol: but I am just SHOCKED by the number of people (people I dont know, acquaintences) who have commented, "well you have a boy & a girl, so now you are done!" :wtf: Yeah, we are done, but why the assumption? Many people have more than 3 kids! And 3 isnt even a lot!
I've heard this from people..."well you have a boy, now you just need a girl to complete the family" :wtf: So they're saying if we had another boy we'd have to keep trying until we had a girl just to complete our family? :rolleyes:

[Brandi]

We must have been very vocal about waiting for about 3 years, because nobody bugged us at all. It was nice. We really didn't get a lot of people bugging us before Carter either and we were married for almost 5 years before he was born.

[Marcella]

Well, I am newly pregnant, but fortunately I didn't get a whole lot of comments beforehand. Since my daughter turned one (a few weeks ago), a few (not many) people have said "time to start thinking about another!". What really amazes me is (like some of you have posted) how people just assume that if you have a boy and a girl, you are done. Why does everyone else assume that everyone wants "one of each". Why do people assume that you're gonna stop after two if you have "one of each". We have a daughter, and are currently expecting #2, and are planning for #3 eventually, whether or not #2 is a boy or a girl! And... even better, I would be perfectly, perfectly happy if #2 is another girl! Hard for some people to believe! :lol:

[harmonielyn]

And... even better, I would be perfectly, perfectly happy if #2 is another girl! Hard for some people to believe! :lol:

:lol: I feel the same way. I told DH yesterday that I would be completely happy with 2 girls. He said he knows but he really wants a son. If he wasnt the last boy in his family then we would probably stop after #2 if it was a girl. If #2 is a boy we might try for #3. I really want 2 girls.

[Bobbie]

Strangely enough, I don't feel very pressured, though random people have started to ask more frequently. I'm not offended by questions as long as people don't carry on about what I should do. I have noticed the number of people who assume you're going to have another if you have one and make comments about "When the next one comes along..."

Sometimes I feel pressured to have another for DH's or DD's sake, yet I'm not sure how either of them would like sharing my attention with another baby.

[Denise]

I've heard this from people..."well you have a boy, now you just need a girl to complete the family" :wtf: So they're saying if we had another boy we'd have to keep trying until we had a girl just to complete our family? :rolleyes:
If i dont hear that from EVERYONE!!!

[harmonielyn]

Good thing my SIL didnt wait for a girl before she would say her family is complete. She has 4 boys and shes only 24 years old. They are WAY more than a handful.

[Amy]

We were given some very good advice when I was pregnant with Emily (and keep in mind, we didn't know she was going to be a girl). "If you have 3 girls and decide to try again just to get a boy, DON'T DO IT!" :lol: The advice giver was a friend of my IL's who has 4 daughters....and even funnier, he has 3 grandsons!

I agree that there seems to be this unspoken rule that the 'perfect' family is 1 boy and 1 girl. We are very very happy with our 2 girls, and would have loved to have a 3rd child regardless of gender. Sadly, we can't have any more children, but we haven't ruled out the possibility of adoption later. Would I like the experience of raising a son? Sure....but I don't feel this unending need to have a boy. Thankfully, DH doesn't either....he's perfectly happy surrounded by his girls!

[Lady E]

Since we have B/G twins, we don't get it too much but I am surprised by the # of people who do ask, mostly people who I'm just acquainted with.

I get more of the " you have one of each so you must be done" comments more than anything...

[sheila]

My mom & DH are really the only 2 who offer any pressure. As I see it, DH has a little right, but since I have the bigger end of the responsibilty, I get the final say. My mom, on the other hand :rolleyes:

[Bev]

ABSOLUTELY!! But I am putting the pressure on myself. :) I am going to be 38 in July and desperately want to have another. The fact I had a complete mole and then required chemo to get rid of the darn thing is another worry. Now I am *high risk* on two counts!

I will say this. No one asks me about when we are going to get pregnant again. After the other disaster I told everyone we weren't allowed to TTC until March 2004 at the earliest, which is apparently pushing it due to the chemo, but what with my age.... I also told them that when I do get pregnant, no one other than DH (and you guys) will know until they rule out any molar tissue at 6-8 weeks, and even then, if I can possibly hide it, I won't tell anyone until 12 weeks.

I am not obsessing about it, but I desperately want it. I told DH if his sister gets pregnant before me (she's trying in August depending on BILs job situation) I will be so PISSED, and he said it's not a contest. No, it's not a contest, but I just feel so ripped off with the cmp on so many counts, Why me? Why not a 'normal' m/c? Why not a simple blighted ovum? Why the persistent mole? etc. (At the same time, I feel very lucky that is all I had considering the gals with ovarian or breast cancer, but it doesn't stop the feelings)

Anyway, the simple answer is YES but I am putting it on myself because I want it so badly.

[~Andrea~]

I've had a few people ask me *when* we planned on TTC again, but that was simple curiosity. I've made it perfectly clear that I want more than one child! :nod: I think we are done after 2 as well :blue: The only way DH will agree to more is if I have twins and there isn't an option : rotflmao: Seriously though, after the second one DH will be getting the BIG-V. Not right away though. I'd like to wait at least a year to make such a permanant decision. And I seriously doubt we'd have any Ooopsi babies as I had trouble concieving Gab.