I was wondering if anyone else has downsized their house or made a signficant change in their living (like moving to a less expensive community) in order to stay at home? We have decided we must do this if I am to continue staying at home. I KNOW this is the right decision for our family, but I'm a little sad too :blue: The For Sale sign went up last night and cars have begun creeping by our house looking :cry: We have a beautiful home in an "exclusive" community but our home was recently re-assessed for 20% more and that means a huge tax increase. We could manage it, but that would mean sacrificing other things that we feel are more important than our nice home - like not being able to send Brice to Montessori (which we really want to do), Art adding more hours, or maybe even me returning to work. So, like I said, I KNOW in my heart we are making the right choice. It is so important to us that Brice have a stay at home parent if at all possible. We are looking for a substantially less expensive home in a less expensive school district (school district doesn't really matter to us because we have always planned on Montessori for Brice's pre-k - grade 6) So we will probably end up in the city instead of the burbs in a smaller house. Has anyone else done this? Was it a really hard adjustment? Are you glad you did it? I'm so bad at change and this will be a big one. But, if it means I can continue to be home with Brice I can do it.

Kind of. We moved out of our very very nice 2 bedroom 1700 sq ft apt in the city of Ann Arbor and moved into a very small (958 sq ft) old (1962) 2 bedroom house 15 minutes outside of ann arbor while I was pregnant. We were fine in the apt, and would of been fine there for awhile, but with adding a baby to our family it was going to be impossible to do fun things, like have a zoo and museum membership, go on vacations, save for schooling (we hope to send out kids to the waldorf academy), etc. We saved about $600 a month by doing this.

Caurie, this is something Karri (in our p/g) did. :nod:

We moved from Massachusetts to a house with a lower mortgage in Ohio. While I wanted to move back anyhow to be closer to our families, the thing that really set it in motion was that in order to stay in Massachusetts and afford our newly built house, I would have to go back to work (which, with only a B.S. in psych/soc, was hard enough). So, now we live in an older (well, 26 years old, but older than our Ma house) which has a mortgage that is $300 a month cheaper. We don't regret that decision.

We didn't do exactly do it -- I work full-time by choice, but when we moved to a new house, we chose a new neighborhood were we were able to buy one that did not increase our mortgage payment -- and people thought we were crazy for not buying something "nicer". But, we want to have the flexibility to reduce our work hours if we want, or to manage if one of us loses our jobs. So, that was definitely part of our decision-making.

We do have friends that deliberately downsized. They do not regret it, and I think it is a very wonderful and courageous thing to do. Most people are so caught up in status that they wouldn't even think about downsizing as a reasonable option.

You WILL have a nice home, becaue you and your son and husband will make it a nice home. It just might not be as "outwardly" nice. When I think about the homes of friends where we all congregated as kids, it was the homes --big or little -- that were obviously filled with love that were the wonderful homes. My best friend grew up in the smallest house, but somehow it never seemed crowded despite being filled with people all the time.

We didn't downsize, but we did just start out smaller to begin with. Technically, we could have affoarded a larger house, but we decided it was more important to be in a smaller house where I could stay at home and we could still be comfortable financially.

Yep - Sarah is right. This is exactly what we did.

Before I got pg with Aidan, we purchased a 2300 sq ft home on 1.5 acres in the burbs. Once I had him, I realized that I really wanted to SAH. We put the wheels in motion once we started TTC #2. We found a house in a 'burb of Milwaukee, but its a city suburb (not in a subdivision like we lived in before). We managed to find a place that is 1900 sq. ft (plus a finished rec room). Its still got 4 br like our last home, so we didnt downsize in that dept. Basically, we have a smaller, old kitchen and we have no formal living room. However, we ended up liking this house sooooo much more! Its got real character, since it was built in 1929. Of course, we had to put quite a bit of elbow grease into the house, but nothing major. And our yard is quite small...so small, we cant fit a swingset in the backyard. BUT we have 3 wonderful parks that are each within 3-5 blocks of our house. And since I dont have a ton of time to exercise, I absolutley love that I can plop the kids in the stroller and run errands to places like the dry cleaner, drug store, health store, library, and even the grocery store for small trips. Not only does my body benefit, but we save a ton in gas money (i only fill up the mini van every 2.5 weeks, if that!). I think I am a city girl at heart. I definately love living here and absolutely do not regret it!!!! Oh yeah...we lowered our mortgage by $600/mo by doing this and our car insurance on the minivan went down b/c of how little its driven!

We also started out smaller, getting a smaller house, knowing we could afford it on one income. Sometimes I sigh as I drive by "nicer" houses, but being home with our kids is a big priority. Plus dh is returning to school soon and we'll be scrimping and living on loans. I just look to the future when we'll be able to afford more. It's worth it! I can't believe all I'd miss out on if I weren't with them! But everyone must make the best choice for their family. If you know in your heart it's the best course of action, the rest will work out.

We are in the process of doing this, sort of...we have sold our 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo right outside of Boston and are actually going to be renting a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo, in the 'burbs. We are doing this b/c our mortgage including condo fees and storage fees is over $2100 a month, and we can rent pretty much the same place (except the complex has a pool and a gym) for $1400 a month. We plan on renting for a year, saving the $700 a month, on top of the profits from our condo, and then possibly buying in a cheaper part of the country. I am actually hoping for New Hampshire - DH could keep his job and commute, and I would still be near my family, and houses are cheaper. DH really wants to move somewhere down South where the COL is a lot less.

We really can't decide what we want, I know we could move down South, afford a beautiful home, and I wouldn't have to work at all. However, I also don't want Jackson to be so far away from my parents and brother. This is why we are taking a year to fully think this out.

Our situation is different in that I work full-time and my DH is home. Right now Jason is in daycare/preschool and DH is looking for a job. We are planning on selling our house and getting a cheaper one, and if DH can find a job that pays enough, then I will stay home with #2. Either way we will be selling our house and moving to a cheaper neighborhood. However, we will end up with a brand new house (we are going to have it built) that will be 500 sq ft bigger than the one we're in now, and the schools in that area are actually better than the schools in our area. But with the amount we can sell our house for, we'll actually end up being able to pay off all our debts besides mortgage, plus be able to lower our mortgage. San Diego is just insanely expensive, even for the bad parts of San Diego, and we'll be moving about an hour north, in Riverside County. The only bad part is moving further from my family and friends.

You WILL have a nice home, becaue you and your son and husband will make it a nice home. It just might not be as "outwardly" nice. When I think about the homes of ...friends where we all congregated as kids, it was the homes --big or little -- that were obviously filled with ...love that were the wonderful homes. My best friend grew up in the smallest house, but somehow it never seemed crowded despite being filled with people all the time.
Thank you. This is just what I needed to hear - you are absolutely right.

You WILL have a nice home, becaue you and your son and husband will make it a nice home. It just might not be as "outwardly" nice. When I think about the homes of friends where we all congregated as kids, it was the homes --big or little -- that were obviously filled with love that were the wonderful homes. My best friend grew up in the smallest house, but somehow it never seemed crowded despite being filled with people all the time.
:nod: I totally agree with this!

ITA with miacat!!!

We didn't, but because I bought this house when I was single, I bought what I could afford on 40K a year. When we both worked, we had a lot more 'stuff', but thankfully didn't look into buying a bigger 'nicer' house. I've been here now for 5 1/2 years, and we refinanced the mortgage in February to put DH's name on it and drop PMI. Our mortgage (not including tax/insurance) is $211.55 every two weeks....can't beat that AT ALL!!

We are hoping to move back to my hometown later this year if DH gets this job he's interviewed for...the job pays more, and the cost of living is less, so we'll actually get a nicer home with more land, but pay a similar cost. Plus can't beat living close to family again.

I would much rather SAH with my girls and have a fancy home later than work just to have a 'good' address. It's the love and care you put into your family and your house that make it a home!

Dang, Amy--I want your mortgage!

:eek: No kidding, Amy! What a great mortgage! My car payments are more! :lol: shoot, we paid that much in PMI at our last house :eek:

Just my condo fee is more than your mortgage Amy! That's why we need to get the heck out of here!!!

I want signed up for Amy's mortgage as well!

We did something like this. We bought our house while I was pg, and decided that we would buy one we could afford with only DH working - even though the bank offered us more than 3x's what we actually borrowed.

It's not the best house, but it's ours - and it's pretty nice. We've done a few things to it, but I don't regret buying this one, because the mortgage is half of what it would have been had we bought a different one. We only got a 15 year mortgage and still only pay $450 a month.....gotta love the midwest!

I must be in the wrong part of the midwest! My 30 year mortgage is more than twice that!

we'll actually get a nicer home with more land, but pay a similar cost. Plus can't beat living close to family again.

I would much rather SAH with my girls and have a fancy home later than work just to have a 'good' address.
This is why we moved about a half hour out of where we were...trust me, the town is nothing special :rolleyes: at all, but we were able to build a new, single family home for approximately $100K less than had we been in the city. Now, our taxes are horrendous, but we're dealing with that. We did what we felt was important for our family, and haven't regretted it at all! A lot of people wonder why we live 'out there', but really, we like it now...it's quiet! :lol:

And Amy, that's an awesome mortgage!

Well, due to circumstances out of our control, we had to move out of our house and into our inlaws' home before we sold it. We had both been laid off, and couldn't make the mortgage payment PLUS all of the extra utilities and food payments, etc. I fought moving tooth and nail. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to give up my cute little house, but in the end, I had no choice.

On Friday, we finally closed on our house and sold it to a new couple. It had been on the market for sixteen months, and vacant for seven. It was such a relief at that point. I've really learned a lot since we've been living with the IL's in one bedroom - we can live on next to nothing, and still be happy. We have no space for anything except the bare essentials, but what matters is that we're together, and that we have a happy home.

Our plan now is to hang out here as long as possible, pay the rest of our debt off, and put a ton of money into savings. That way, we can start from scratch again, and allow me to stay at home with the kids. It's really the most important thing to me. More than status, I want to be with my kids and husband every day.

I've heard the statment that a lot of times, "we all go around buying things we can't afford, to try to please people we don't really like anyway." I'm way past that at this point - I don't care what people think. We're doing what is best for US.

Man, I drool over EVERYONE's monthly...but it was our choice to stay in this area.

We won't be able to stay in this house indefinitely without my working part time or Rob's company having a successful IPO (which we REALLY hope will happen).

We can hang on for the next few years until the kids are both in full time school. Then I can substitute or find an aide position in the same school districts as the kids if I need too.

I am actually hoping for New Hampshire - DH could keep his job and commute, and I would still be near my family, and houses are cheaper.
Hurry if you're coming up here...we too fled for NH from MA (though I still work in MA) 4 yrs ago due to house prices and while MA is still crazier, NH is creeping up and up...

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I am in a different position in that I am the one working FT and DH is home w/ the boys and words PT. But the "downsizing" thing is backfiring w/ us - b/c DH is home so much he gets more and more restless and constantly wants to do things to our 2150sf house...he's finally convinced me and we are putting on another room in a few weeks. :eek: Not the best on 1 persons budget...

We are considering moving to another part of the country where the COL is less and we can afford a bigger house than what we have now for half the price of the house we live in now. This will allow us to work less and be home more with our daughter, which we consider the most important thing at this point. :nod:

I just want to give a big :bighug: to those of you who have made such amazing sacrifices and worked so hard for your families! It's not an easy decision, but your children are SOOOO FORTUNATE to have mommies and daddies that put them first!

As for us, we bought a tiny bit more expensive than we had planned :blush: (I shouldn't even be posting in this thread, shame on me) because a beautiful little home on a huge lot became available in our price range in an incredible town with fantastic schools-so we considered our kids educational opportunity a good enough reason to go for it. I only work 2 days a week and my mom watches the boys, and within 2 years I'll become a sahm anyway. So they get wonderful bonding time with their adoring grandmother... IF things had not worked out this way for us, I would hope I would have the courage to do EXACTLY what you ladies are doing!!!!

This is why we moved about a half hour out of where we were...trust me, the town is nothing special :rolleyes: at all, but we were able to build a new, single family home for approximately $100K less than had we been in the city. Now, our taxes are horrendous, but we're dealing with that. We did what we felt was important for our family, and haven't regretted it at all! A lot of people wonder why we live 'out there', but really, we like it now...it's quiet! :lol:

And Amy, that's an awesome mortgage!
This whole post is coming back to bit me in the a$$. To say that our taxes are high is an understatement. Right now, the way things stay, I either get a (PT) job, or we move. Dh isn't so keen on moving, and he's always supported me being home. To say that things suck right now would be a *huge* understatement. :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

This whole post is coming back to bit me in the a$$. To say that our taxes are high is an understatement. Right now, the way things stay, I either get a (PT) job, or we move. Dh isn't so keen on moving, and he's always supported me being home. To say that things suck right now would be a *huge* understatement. :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:
:bighug: Jenn, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know how much being a SAHM means to you.

Oh Jenn --I am sooooo sorry :hug99:

Cortney and Karri, :bighug: thank you *so* much. I realized last night after I posted that just how pathetic I likely sounded. And, to be quite honest, that's how I felt. :blue: We didn't have the best night at our house last night, and, well, I saw this thread right about then. We've since had time to sit and talk (properly), and know that we *can* make this work...right now, without me getting a job, or selling the house. It likely sounds like an extra $5 can make or break us, and I assure you, it's not like that! We needed this reality check to realize that we must adjust our priorities...right now, it is (and always has been, we just somewhere got lost) our family and our home. We will be okay, it just might be a little bit tighter around here (which to be honest, isn't a bad thing).

Thank you again! You guys are the best! :bighug:

:bighug: I'm glad you'll be able to continue to stay home, Jenn--that is great news! :bighug:

I am glad to hear that, Jenn!!! :bighug:

We kinda did this too. :) When we bought our house, we only looked where we could get a reasonable house with a reasonable mortgage. :) Yeah, we have to take a ferry to get into the city, but we'd rather do that than sit on the freeway!
We also put enough of a down payment on our house to keep our mortgage payments at about $1000/month so I could downsize to a PT job and we'd be okay financially. My DH works for himself, so his paychecks are sporadic.

Good luck with your move, Caurie! Keep us updated on your progress.... :aok: