New Forum Check-In/Introductions

[Bobbie]

Isn't it cool that we now have a forum for parenting only children? I thought it might be nice to see who's still here and start a new introductions thread. :)

Name & Age:
DH or SO's Name & Age:
Occupations (working at or outside home?):
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status):
Top reason(s) for having an only child:
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience?
Greatest concern about having an only child:
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child?
Anything else you'd like to share?

[Bobbie]

Name & Age: Bobbie, 31

DH or SO's Name & Age: Kevin, 30

Occupations (working at or outside home?): I work outside the home two days a week as a printing coordinator. I'm also in the process of starting a home business. Kevin heads a development team at an insurance company (full-time).

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): K Ruth, 11/11/2002

Top reason(s) for having an only child: Considering all our interests, abilities and limitations, I feel like this is the way our family was meant to be.

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Not really. I have a tilted uterus but no reason to believe I couldn't conceive again. I didn't enjoy pregnancy but didn't have complications.

Greatest concern about having an only child: K missing out on the sibling relationships that I have.

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? I like to think I'm 90% sure our family is complete, but until I reach age 35 I reserve the right to change my mind.

Anything else you'd like to share? I think there are concerns specific to only children, which is why I'm interested in talking to other parents of onlies. :)

[TMFKA-TWTEZNAN]

Name & Age: Angel (34)

DH or SO's Name & Age: Rick (34)(Britt's step-Dad)

Occupations (working at or outside home?):outside home(opening our own business)

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status):Brittany (11/21/90)

Top reason(s) for having an only child:Happy with my onlie, I give all of my time to her and she is happy and so am I .

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience?No, just decided she was way more then enough !

Greatest concern about having an only child:None,She is happy and she has alot of cousins.

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child?Oh NO ! 150 % sure she is it !

Anything else you'd like to share?Glad to have found a forum for our onlies

[redhairedgirl]

Name & Age: Mandy age 27

DH or SO's Name & Age: Jeremy age 32

Occupations (working at or outside home?): I am a SAHM, well, actually a WAHM, as I've started doing some sewing as a side business.
My husband is a Physicist who works for a contracting company for NASA - a rocket scientist. :rotflmao:

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Aiden William 7/7/03

Top reason(s) for having an only child: I'm scared I'll hurt my back more, I am afraid of going through bad PPD again, we can give Aiden so much more financially, etc, etc, etc

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience?
Yes, part of it. I have tubal infertility. I was told that the shape my tubes are in, they could block again, and I would have to undergo laparoscopy again to clear them.
I also had very bad PPD.... I was just so overwhelmed.
I also herniated a disc in my lumbar spine that pinched my sciatic nerve during Aiden's delivery. I am at a point where I can control the pain by exercising every day. I was told that if I get pg again, I could have physical therapy, but only to a certain point and I might be in a lot of pain due to the stress put on my back. I honestly don't know if I could handle pregnancy and this back pain together.

Greatest concern about having an only child: I'm concerned about him growing older and feeling that he will have to take care of us. I am also concerned that my brothers will not give him any cousins. I don't want him to feel "alone" in the world.

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Not really.

Anything else you'd like to share? Fortunately, my family knows my situation, so no one has really asked us if there will be any more children. I think everyone gets the idea that another pregnancy would really wreck my body.

Mandy

[Stacy]

I'm here! BBL to answers questions.

[AahRee]

I'm here! :yippee:
Name & Age: Anne, 29

DH or SO's Name & Age: Phil, 28

Occupations (working at or outside home?): Just a mom, but thinking about starting to WAH a little again, when things settle down!

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Katie Gabrielle, May 8, 2002

Top reason(s) for having an only child: Initially, it was just my health, but it has grown to include wanting certain things for Katie (time, energy, patience, etc.) and not wanting to have to spread those things thinner with additional children.

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Well, sort of. We TTC'd for 9 months after Katie was born, but didn't get pg. When we discovered my lung problems, the doctors said that it was a good thing we didn't get pg, because it would have been extremely dangerous. So, in a way, we only have one because we didn't get pg right away with #2, but it's not because I had a particularly bad pregnancy or anything like that.

Greatest concern about having an only child: I'm concerned she'll grow up too quickly, being around adults more than other children. She's already doing that a little bit, and it makes me a little sad.

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Unless something drastic changes with my health, another child is out of the question for us. I could see, possibly, expanding our family through adoption, or even having short term foster children in the house someday, but we really feel complete as a family of three, so I don't see that changing.

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm so happy you all are here! :)

[Natalie]

I'm here too!! :yippee:

Name & Age: Natalie 28
DH or SO's Name & Age: Brad 27
Occupations (working at or outside home?): Working p/time as editor and writer for a business publication
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Samuel (Sam) March 9, 2004
Top reason(s) for having an only child: I had a horrendous pregnancy, we have lifetsyle plans (my DH wants to extend his education & I want to travel extensively) and I want to provide mychild with the best I can
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? YES!! I had hyperemesis to the point where I was vomiting blood. And then once the sickness passed, I was VERY uncomfortable.
Greatest concern about having an only child: lack of interaction with other children and therefore, loneliness. There is something special about a bond between siblings
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? It's not likely and if we do it won't be for a looooooong time :lol:

[KimInCanada]

Hi Everyone!! I just noticed this thread. :supergrin

Name & Age: Kim and I'm 33

DH or SO's Name & Age: (common law DH) Garrett and he's 34

Occupations (working at or outside home?): I sell Avon and Garrett does EVERYTHING that has to do with computers.

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): DS is Troy and he's now 3 years old.

Top reason(s) for having an only child: To make a really long story short... I had a pregnancy from HELL beginning to end, and Troy was born 3mths early weighing in at 2lbs 5oz. He stayed in NICU for 2mths and had to overcome many hurdles, before I could bring him home. I honestly didn't want to take any chances. Troy is our Miracle and I still thank God every day for him.
He's all I need. :bteddy:

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Most definately! Doctors suggested it wouldn't be a good idea to get pregnant again anyway.

Greatest concern about having an only child: None. He's around many kids at day care, interacting and having a blast!

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Too late now! Got my tubes done a week before Christmas.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nope. Wanna know anything, just ask!

[Bobbie]

Hi everyone! It's great to see people in here! :woo:

I'm sorry that some of you are in this situation due to health problems and prior difficulties.

[Katrina]

Popping in to say hello! Will be back later to post more and introduce myself!

[Stacy]

I'm here! BBL to answers questions.
i had it all typed up and I lost it.

[NickiB]

Name & Age: Nicki, 31
DH or SO's Name & Age: Winston 37
Occupations (working at or outside home?): I work full time outside the home.
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Kaitlyn born 1/4/03
Top reason(s) for having an only child: I feel our family is great right now and also feel that we might be able to be more flexible as far as jobs, (part time vs full time), travel (get to do more of it) and just over all as far as financially.
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? No, I had a good pregnancy but don't really like how the pregnancy has affected my body as far as a stomach pooch, low sex drive, etc.
Greatest concern about having an only child: That she will feel like she missed out by not having a sibling. I have 2 sisters and dh is an only child. He does not feel he missed out on anything by being an only child.
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? It is definitely possible. If for some reason we got pg, we wouldn't be unhappy, but if we have a choice then at this point we have decided to possibly only have 1 child. I will wait until that magic number of 35 to decide for sure.
Anything else you'd like to share? We are not positive we will only have one child but do feel fulfilled by having one child. We would also like to enjoy our lives together as a married couple and feel as you have more children, more restrictions are put upon you that may not enable you to have the time you need to connect as a couple.

[TtownAnne]

Name & Age: Anne, 31
DH or SO's Name & Age: James, 34
Occupations (working at or outside home?): I SAH, James is an accountant
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Caroline, 2 1/2
Top reason(s) for having an only child: Finances, DH's concerns about potential health problems.
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Nope - had remarkably easy TTC/pregnancy/birth.
Greatest concern about having an only child: Being spoiled, being lonely.
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Not sure - we're still in contract negotiations. :) I waver between one more and we're done; DH is more on the "all done" front.
Anything else you'd like to share? I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this!!!! I'm starting to feel wierd hanging out here when all my friends are pregnant again or trying to get pregnant and telling me that only children are horrible people.

[Bobbie]

Name & Age: I'm starting to feel wierd hanging out here when all my friends are pregnant again or trying to get pregnant and telling me that only children are horrible people.

Oh my gosh -- you've actually been told that only children are horrible people? :eek: That's terrible! I can only hope these moms or future moms aren't going to pass along generalizations like that to their kids. :(

[TtownAnne]

Yep. Admittedly, that's my main concern as well - I'm 31 years old and have yet to meet an only child that doesn't fit the "traditional" only child stereotypes of being greedy and spoiled and "above their years" from hanging out only with the grownups, etc. That's why my mind is undecided, but that's a post for a different thread or something. :)

Oh my gosh -- you've actually been told that only children are horrible people? :eek: That's terrible! I can only hope these moms or future moms aren't going to pass along generalizations like that to their kids. :(

[Connie1222]

:wavey:
Name & Age: Connie, 33
DH or SO's Name & Age: Keith, 38
Occupations (working at or outside home?): Sales Assistant for a jewelry co.. Keith is a welding inspector/jeweler
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Giacomo Ryan (aka Jack) 11-23-01
Top reason(s) for having an only child: We'd be better off financially (at least at this point in time), we would definitely be able to send Jack to some good schools and be able to provide for his needs and wants more easliy. Also, Jack is really a high needs kid right now, I can't imagine having a new born anytime soon!
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? No, I loved being pregnant.
Greatest concern about having an only child: That Jack will be lonely and spolied and that I might regret it later in life.
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? It's definitely a possibility.
Anything else you'd like to share? I'm also glad there are others out there like me. Having a child is very hard and it's a big decision.

[Cortney]

Just lurking in here, but.......

when all my friends are pregnant again or trying to get pregnant and telling me that only children are horrible people.
I hope you've never gotten this idea from me!!!!!!!:eek: I can't believe people are telling you this.:wtf:

[Connie1222]

Yep. Admittedly, that's my main concern as well - I'm 31 years old and have yet to meet an only child that doesn't fit the "traditional" only child stereotypes of being greedy and spoiled and "above their years" from hanging out only with the grownups, etc. That's why my mind is undecided, but that's a post for a different thread or something. :)
I can rest your mind, I know of 2 people right off the bat who are only children and are far from being spoiled or greedy. They are actually great people and I often ask them what they think of being an only child. Both of them tell me they never knew any different so they never really missed having a sibling.

[AahRee]

My FIL is an only child, and is one of the most down-to-earth, laid back people I've ever met. My MIL, on the other hand, is one of 4 children, and is so high strung, passive-aggressive and nosy, I go nuts thinking about it sometimes. (Although, and I know this for a fact, she means well...) Anyway, there's certainly no guarantee either way. :)

If you guys are interested, I read a great book about raising only children called *You and Your Only Child*

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?userid=O9t15CxgbW&pwb=1&ean=9780060928964

It cleared up a lot of the myths I was used to, and gave me some more good reasons for wanting Katie to be an only. It really helped me be more confident that the decision for her to be an only was not only NOT going to hurt her, it might even help her. :)

[TtownAnne]

No, Cortney, silly girl - this didn't come from you. From a few "IRL" friends. :rolleyes:

Thanks Anne, I will look into that. :)

[Cortney]

No, Cortney, silly girl - this didn't come from you. From a few "IRL" friends. :rolleyes:

:bighug: Tell them to shut up or else your web-buddies are gonna come beat 'em up.

[TtownAnne]

Anne, I just finished reading this book, and it was really great - helped me alot in my thoughts. :)

If you guys are interested, I read a great book about raising only children called *You and Your Only Child*

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?userid=O9t15CxgbW&pwb=1&ean=9780060928964

It cleared up a lot of the myths I was used to, and gave me some more good reasons for wanting Katie to be an only. It really helped me be more confident that the decision for her to be an only was not only NOT going to hurt her, it might even help her. :)

[TMFKA-TWTEZNAN]

:scan: Hi Ladies ..After reading some of your concerns I must say this ...My onlie is 13 yrs old and she is very happy being an onlie. She has lots of boy cousins (12 to be exact) .She has never wanted for my attention as she has my full attention. I have asked her over and over again if she would like a sibling and her answer is always no . My daughter is not greedy and spoiled . She spends alot of time with kids her own age. She gets alot of interaction with her friends. She has 3 friends that are onlie children also . I am very happy with my decision to have only her. At one point in my life I wanted more children but then when I had her I felt better knowing I could give her all of my time and energy. By the way I come from a family of a brother and me and Britt's dad came from a family of 4 boys.

[ncshop4shoes]

Name & Age: Krista, 32
DH or SO's Name & Age: Jon, 31
Occupations (working at or outside home?): SAHM
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Jacob, 11-5-02
Top reason(s) for having an only child: years of infertility, hard preg.
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? YES
Greatest concern about having an only child: Spoiling him
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Maybe

[Sherri Cummings]

Hi my name is Sherri Cummings. I have an 8 year old son and due to medical issues we are only able to have 1 child. It is especially hard for me because I have as worked with children as a profession and enjoy them very much. My son is now at an age where it is especially tough for him due to the fact that we move so much with my hubby being military. He is one of those children who enjoy being around other children constantly and always asks why he does not have a sibling. It is further complicated by the fact that most of my good friends have 3 or 4 kids and cannot even relate to how I feel.

I am glad to have found this forum. I must say that if there are those who made a conscious decision to have only one child that I totally respect that. In some ways it is nice having an only. I definately get to spend more one on one time with him and finances are much better for us with only one. But for me I sometimes wonder what it would of been like to at least had one more. Many people tell me to be greatful that I had one. Although I am greatful, I still have those days where I wonder what it would of been like to have another in the family.

I look forward to gettting to know all of you on this site and hearing your individual experiences.

Thanks,
Sherri Cummings

[AahRee]

Anne, sorry! I just saw your post (3 months later... sheesh!) I'm glad you liked the book.

Krista, Angel and Sherry - welcome! :biggrin:

[jpsmom]

Hi my name is Sherri and I am a mother of an only son Jay who is 8. I wanted to have more children but due to medical issues am unable. It is especially hard for me since I really wanted at least 2. Not to mention the fact that most of my friends have 3 or more. I must admit though that I do not miss the sleepless nights with a baby but I do miss the other stuff. I also wish my son could grow up with a brother or sister and have a bond that I never got the chance to have myself. Anyway, I am looking forward to getting to know you all.
Take Care, Sherri

[AahRee]

Welcome, Sherri! :hug99:

[Martian Lullaby]

I think I'll go ahead and post here for now. :)

Name & Age: Megan, 27

DH or SO's Name & Age: Matt, 28

Occupations (working at or outside home?): We both work full-time.

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Maya Elizabeth, 10/29/03

Top reason(s) for having an only child: Money. I'm the oldest of six and there was never enough to go around. We were on welfare for most of my childhood and I promised myself I'd never spread myself that thin.

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? No, I loved being pregnant.

Greatest concern about having an only child: Spoiling her. I don't want to raise a brat.

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Right now I'm not 100% sure that Maya will be an only child. DH wants another one, but says ultimately that it's up to me. But I refuse to have another child until I can stay at home, and the way things are looking it will be summer 2007 at the very earliest before we can consider TTC. If I still have to work, then TTC will be pushed back. I've always wanted to be a SAHM and it hurts me terribly that it's not possible. I only had six weeks of maternity leave, and since then I only see Maya for about 30-60 minutes a night during the week. Period. So I'm not doing this again. It makes me sad to think that I'll never be pregnant again, but pregnancy only lasts nine months, and work misery is forever.

Anything else you'd like to share? The older she gets, the more I lean toward keeping her an only child. I'm not sure I want to go through the newborn stage again!

[redhairedgirl]

Hello Megan! :hug99: I hope that you will have the opportunity to move to another group someday. ;)

[AahRee]

Welcome Megan! :) Maya is a doll!

[Martian Lullaby]

Thanks girls! I figured I might as well get to know everybody over here for the next three or four years until we figure something out, anyway. :)

[sunnyflower]

Name & Age: Kerrie almost 32
DH or SO's Name & Age: Gary 42
Occupations (working at or outside home?): We are both teachers
Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Brenna 9/1/04
Top reason(s) for having an only child: It took 5 IUIs which may not seem like alot, but it seemed like forever for me. Prior to the IUIs it was a good year with getting pg once and having a m/c at 6 weeks
Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Pretty much. I also had GD while pg and don't want to go through that again.
Greatest concern about having an only child: Right now none. A few friends of mine only have one and their children have turned out great. Brenna has 4 cousins that are right around her age so it's not like she will be growing up without anyone close to her.
Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Maybe, but I don't want to think about it until at least next summer.
Anything else you'd like to share?

~Kerrie

[Katrina]

Name & Age: Katrina 30

DH or SO's Name & Age: John, 29

Occupations (working at or outside home?): Both work full time outside the home for the government (me state, him feds/military)

Child's name and birthdate (or EDD/TTC status): Zachary Wiles, 12/07/2003

Top reason(s) for having an only child: Lifestyle. We both love the life and family dynamic we have now. We want to do so many things and have things that would just be so much more difficult if not impossible if we had more than one child. We want to be able to give all our time and money to our one child (time and money designated for kids, that is). We both are the youngest of several kids and we really don't feel the need to add to our family and see no negatives about having one child.

Is having an only child related to your TTC/pregnancy experience? Not really, though I have no desire to be pregnant again or go through that newborn stage!!

Greatest concern about having an only child: Don't really have any, to be honest! I am VERY comfortable with the choice. Maybe how to recoup some of the money spent on all his baby stuff we still have kicking around!

Do you think you'll change your mind about having an only child? Not likely. We both had baby fever before, when we TTCd and got pregnant with Zack. So we know what it feels like and will recognize it if it happens again. If it does, we will reevaluate but for now we are more and more leaning towards no more.

Anything else you'd like to share? I get so frustrated seeing threads and articles online and IRL about the 'need' for siblings. Like having siblings is the only way to guarantee a happy childhood or something and that peoople have to justify having only 1 child. Why is it that way? Just having siblings doesn't make it a better childhood and being an only doesn't make it a bad childhood. Why the distinction? Why do people feel like they HAVE to give their child siblings and then agonize over the situation when they really don't want anymore but feel pressured to do so because having siblings is 'better' than being an only?
That drives me nuts.

[redhairedgirl]

Welcome Kerrie and Katrina!!!!

[TtownAnne]

Katrina, you should read the book that Anne (Aahree) recommended in another thread in this forum called You and Your Only Child (I think :blush: ) I read it and really helped to dispel alot of my concerns on those very ideas. You'll like the positive spin it puts on the aspect. Lord knows, my own sibling has done nothing to improve my life or shape the type of person I am!

[Katrina]

I am going to try to find that book this week.

I personally don't have a negative view on having an onlie, but it seems society does and I think its ridiculous.

I personally spent a greater part of my young adult and adult life trying to get out from under the shadow of my older siblings. To the point where I intentionally went to a diffferent high school and everything. I have no desire to do that to my child!