So frustrated....

[TtownAnne]

I just pulled my child out of ballet class, something she said she wanted to do. Why, you ask? Because she can't stand to be away from me without sobbing long enough to learn anything! :tantrum: She can't even be placated by the teacher or any of her little friends, she has to be right next to ME. I don't know which is worse, my friends looking at us in pity because they think something is clearly wrong with her for not wanting to be with her friends, or the fact that I'm starting to wonder if they're RIGHT. :bawl:

If I had known it was going to turn out like this, I honestly don't know that I would have stayed home instead of working - at least if I were working she'd be around other kids her age and able to be away from Mommy for more than a tenth of a second without hysterics like somebody is grating her toes off.

What can I do to socialize a child when she's not old enough for "Mommy-less" activities and preschool doesn't start until September???

[SarahK]

Is there a MOMS Club in your town? Something that will help you to have Caroline have playdates with other children...playdates where you can gradually withdraw yourself from the room/situation?? :dunno: Or what about story time at the library or bookstore?

[eelyak]

I agree with Sarah, Moms club or mother's day out or something. The moms day out will be a transition and there might be hysterics but perhaps if you could get her used to some of the children through individual play dates than she could see that things aren't so bad. But, Moms club is my suggestion too.

[Karly]

Does it help if you talk to her and explain the situation? Ty used to really freak out when I'd leave, but I've found it works better if I tell him what's happening and where I am going, and that I'm coming back.

:dunno:

[jstauffer]

I really feel your pain. Sierra was very, very clingy for a long time. It was just draining sometimes. I know how hard it is.

I was home with her for 2 years and then I went back to work part-time. Those first few weeks leaving her were really difficult. In the long run it was good though, because just having me away for a while FINALLY made her more independent. She still likes to hang out with me, but she's not completely glued to my side anymore.

I bet some kind of mom's group or something would help her get used to other kids. Or even just a couple times a week leaving her with someone she knows while you leave for a few hours will help her a lot.

I'm considering enrolling Sierra in preschool in the fall, but honestly I'm not sure how she'll take being left with people she doesn't really know. She may not be ready yet.

[Brooke]

IOr even just a couple times a week leaving her with someone she knows while you leave for a few hours will help her a lot. I'm not a SAHM so I'm butting in here. But this comment made me think of something...

Now, don't laugh...

When dogs have separation anxiety, they get hysterical when the owners leave. They will tear the house to shreds. One way to try to get over this is to leave for 5 minutes one day, then 10, then 20, until the dog gets used to the idea that you will be coming back.

So...Is there a neighbor who's also home during the day? What about Caroline's friend's mom? Maybe she'd be willing to help you some. Leave Caroline with her for 10 minutes, go for a drive or something, then come back. Do that once a day. When Caroline is ok with that (like she only cries for 5 minutes instead of the whole time), then gradually increase the time you're away. Eventually, you'll be gone for hours and she'll be fine.

Just a thought. If I were closer, I'd help. :blue:

By the way, she'll probably always cry when you leave. But she won't cry for long. Last week, I left Rebekah with my cousin and her son. She'd never stayed with them before so she cried and Jessica had to hold her while I walked out. Within 3 minutes, she was fine, happily watching JoJo's circus, and she didn't cry the rest of the day.

[Shannon]

Anne,
Don't have much advise because Parker is just little...but....

I am a dance teacher. I have taught many preschool classes. The age we start is 2.9 and let me tell you it is not uncommon at all to have kids with this issue. There are at least two in every class. By the next year, when they start again...the kids are fine. Does the studio have a mirror where she can see you and you can see her? maybe that might help if she can see you on the other side. Have you thought about trying again and bringing her back? sometimes that works too...but no a lot :)

What about doing Mommy and Me gymnastics first and then having her progress to her own gymnastics class (preferably with the same teacher)

[Jillian]

It's weird...but I take Janelle to the mall during the day (on days we don't have playgroup) to the little toddler play structure. I sit on a bench and after a few minutes she (by herself, I don't push) manages to leave my side and play with kids (though her idea of play right now is to copy cat other kids...which annoys some of the 4 year olds, but seems to be quite a bit of fun for the 2 year olds???) and I usually get to talk to a bunch of mommies.

[Cortney]

I like Brooke's idea! :)

[Karri]

I think Brooke has a good idea :)

You take Caroline to art class, right?? How does she handle that?? Or are you always at her side?? Have you guys ever used a babysitter??

[Clare]

I'm in the same situation with Harry. Which is why we put him in daycare, first one day a week and now two. He needs to know that other people are capable of taking care of him other than me. And that I'll always come back and get him. And we needed to nip the seperation anxiety in the bud before he starts Kindy in 2 years time. Can you look at a day in daycare or even an hour in a creche or something? Or Brooke's suggestion of leaving her with your neighbour is a good one too.

Good luck. I find this situation to be very draining,so I hope you have some luck with Caroline soon!

[magoo]

You have all of my sympathy, as we're headed in that direction with Anna. Starting at 8 weeks old (I kid you not!) she started crying when she realised that I wasn't holding her. As soon as she was back with me, she stopped. Every time that we have left her, she has screamed the entire time. It's so sad. :blue: So... no advice from me. Just a hug. :hug99: