If you're "done" Part 2

[sheila]

If you are done, do you ever feel guilty about it? Why?


When I think about being done, I often do feel guilty. I think its because after seeing how wonderfully different my girls are, it makes me wonder what other extraordinary child I am saying "no" to.

Does that make any sense at all?

[Kris]

:nod: that is why I am not saying were done (although I think we are :cry: )

[Theresa]

:nod: that is why I am not saying were done (although I think we are :cry: )

Ditto! :nod:

[koalita]

I know for sure after this one is born that we are done, and I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it. I know that I could not be as good of a mom to three (four if you include my stepson) as I will be to two. I'm not saying this is true of anyone else, but I know how I am when I try to spread myself too thin, and I don't think I could give that many kids enough individual attention, let alone be able to afford the things I would want to give them if I had any more kids.

[Lette]

I totally agree wtih Karen's above post. I know I'm done and know that I couldn't handle any more than 2, especially working full time. ( Dawnie.. I truly don't know how you do it!) I like being organized and my house is in total chaos right now. :crazy: Of course, age is also a factor with me. I started too late!

So, no guilt here.

[kim]

honestly, no. no guilt at all and i am sealing the deal by having my tubes tied.

like lette, i work full time and i started later than most! it's very hard to be pg at this age.

[Sherry]

No guilt at all. we have 4 kids and that is enough. 2 boys 2 girls and I'm extremely happy with that. DH is up there in age too, already going to be in 60s when the youngest is in college.

[Dennis]

No guilt here at all either.

[gulp!]

When I think about being done, I often do feel guilty. I think its because after seeing how wonderfully different my girls are, it makes me wonder what other extraordinary child I am saying "no" to.
Sheila, following that logic, you'd be having kids until you were dead. :lol:

It would be nice to be able to bring some other wonderful children into this world, if resources and energy were abundant. But like others have said, DH and I know our limits, and would it really be fair to our children if we didn't give them everything we had?

[Dawnie]

Lette - :blush1: Thanks. :)

I don't feel guilty about being done at all. I wanted to be done after Alex but then Lauren surprised us and now I have three beautiful children. Do I regret having Lauren? NOT AT ALL but I do know that having a 4th would be the one thing to push me right over the edge.

[Karri]

The only thing I feel guilty about is that Norah will never have a sister...and I know I always wanted a sister.
I don't feel guilty about anything else becasue more children would just spead me too thin and I don't think I'd be a good mom. Its hard enough as it is :lol:

[Theresa]

Sheila, following that logic, you'd be having kids until you were dead. :lol:


There's a reason God invented menopause! :lol2:

[Jennie]

I'm still not sure we are done and I hate not feeling done. I find I change my mind almost every day and maybe that's why we haven't done anything permanent yet. We're not young anymore either (DH is 40.5 and I'm 35) but I hate thinking that I'll never have a daughter. How's that for silly? If Charlie had been a girl, I'm 99% sure I'd be fine saying we were done but I just can't close the door yet. :blue: :bawl:

[Bonnie]

I don't feel guilty, but part of me definitely wishes I could take a several year break and then have 2 more in 2 years... but, I'm almost 36 and it just is not going to happen... plus there is no way I could EVER afford a place to live in San Diego that would house 4 children :)

[bunybomb]

I felt guilty about being done until Alex hit toddlerhood..........enough said! :lol2:

[AahRee]

We only have one child, and we're pretty sure we're done. And I don't feel guilty about it, eventhough I think Katie is the most extraordinary and wonderful child I've ever seen (of course. :) ) and I imagine that another child would be equally wonderful. My reasoning is this: I have this amazing, wonderful gift from God. I treasure every moment I have with her. I want to pour all of my heart and soul into meeting her needs and giving her my very best. At the same time, I'm exhausted just taking care of her, and of my marriage (which I also treasure and want to give all of myself to) and of myself (who I NEED to take care of, in order to be able to care for my husband and my daughter). I know my limits, and right now, I'm absolutely at the maximum. I could do more, but then I wouldn't be able to do any of it WELL, and being the best wife and mother I can be is very, very important to me. If God really and truly wants me to have another child, He'll bring that child into my life by whatever means He decides is best, and He'll enable me to give that child my very best as well. I am completely confident of that. But knowing where I am at right now, and understanding that my resources - time, energy, strength, patience, financial resources, etc. - have limits, I have to be the best steward I can be of those resources. And for me, that means using them to bless the child I already have, rather than wondering what could be.

That's just me, and I know there are those who are capable of taking excellent care of much larger families. I think we each have to examine our own circumstances and discover what we're called to. Some of you are excellent mothers and fathers to many children. I believe I'm called to be an excellent mother to one child, and I have no guilt about that.

[Bobbie]

I believe I'm called to be an excellent mother to one child...
These words are bringing tears to my eyes because they so perfectly sum up my jumble of feelings.

I do feel guilt pangs once in a while though. Maybe I should give DH one more opportunity to have a son, maybe K should have a sibling. Of course, should is no reason to have a child, and some of my other feelings fall right in line with what AahRee has written.
When I think about being done, I often do feel guilty. I think its because after seeing how wonderfully different my girls are, it makes me wonder what other extraordinary child I am saying "no" to.
I think about this sometimes, then I remind myself of all the possibilities we have to say "no" to because we are only able to choose one path through life.

[~Deborah~]

We are done unless something happens between the time DH had the big V and when he has to give his sample in July.:lol:. DH said if it doesn't work then he is NOT going back in:rolleyes:.

I would have loved to try for another as I have always wanted a daughter:mope:.I am SO over the moon in love with my two boys though.