Car Seat Troubles/Woos

[Kris]

Emma is approaching 2 and she is starting to refuse to get in car seat.

I am not sure what to do. She wants to play in car with clips and seatbelt and steering wheel etc. If I let her do this for a bit she still refuses to get into carseat. I really don't want to resort to bribery.

What do you do?

If we are at home and where are going is to a playdate with her fine we don't go but if it something where we have to be or we are already out and have to come home what do I do?

I also have a baby 4 1/2 months old I have to consider as well.

Thanks in advance.

[Karly]

Um.... pick her up and stick her in the seat? Really, there are some things that you can negotiate on, but that's one that they have no choice about, IMO.

[Brooke]

I agree with Karly. Put her in the seat and hook her in. Occasionally, Rebekah will refuse the car seat for DH. She will arch her back and scream and laugh. It's a game to her and he laughs at her when she does it. But as soon as I come over, she settles down. She knows she has to get into the seat for me and that there's no use fighting.

[Jillian]

I agree with Karly. Put her in the seat and hook her in.
I agree too.

[Jenn]

Um.... pick her up and stick her in the seat? Really, there are some things that you can negotiate on, but that's one that they have no choice about, IMO.

I agree with this also.

Peyton acts up every once in awhile and doesn't want to go in the carseat. I think they go through phases where they just don't want to get in but you just have to make them sit down and strap them in.

[Kris]

:lol: I have tried that as well and it doesn't work. I can't get her to bend to get her in the seat let alone clip her down even trying with every body part.

[Eleanor]

I know you don't want to resort to bribery- but is there anything she usually has in the car- a snack, or a blanket, or stuffed toy, or something? With Isabelle, she only gets her snack (on the way home from daycare), and her blankie (any other time) after she's fastened in. Is she able to understand choice, yet? We do this with Isabelle sometimes too- she loves to crawl in her carseat by herself. If she's resisting getting in the car, we giver her the choice of climbing in herself, or being put in by us.

[AmyLynn]

I know you are a strong advocate of attachment parenting, and doing things in a kinder, gentler way.......but as others have said, saftey is not something you can flounder on. Ashton is in a Britax and although I don't recall having a problem getting into the seat, the shoulder straps are adjustable so we just make them longer, and then tighten them to size. Would this work? You could get her clipped in, and then tighten them to the way they are supposed to be.

One thing I am curious about is you mentioned she likes playing with the steering wheel. Is this a toy or are you referring to your vehicle's actual steering wheel? I have a car, and under no circumstances do I let Ashton play with the steering wheel, she is not even allowed to play in the front seats. Again, this is something I just will not negotiate on.

[Kris]

Well I don't really let her play with the steering wheel she just wants to. She likes to play with the clips of her car seat and if she were to play with the streering wheel the car wouldn't be turned on and the keys wouldn't be in the ignition.

The strap idea is a great idea and could possibly work I will have to try that I have the Eddie Bauer car seat and the clips are like a puzzle so impossible to do first if she is fighting me.

I agree safety isn't negotiable.

I have resorted to bribery like suggested but I shouldn't have to bribe her every time to get in the car but then she is almost 2 :) and if it works then oh well right?

[Kerri]

This is an ongoing thing with my almost-3-year-old since he was about two. I try to let him be in control of something, like he wants to buckle it himself, which takes forever but makes it much more pleasant for him. Or he gets to pull the door closed himself (although I'm really outside hip-checking it closed because he's not strong enough). I agree that safety is important, but having a huge traumatic thing isn't good for them easier. Just planning the extra few minutes into my day makes it easier for me. There must be something she could enjoy or do when getting in the car. I let my kids play in the front of the car all the time. Why not? They don't have the keys. I don't know, some kids are just different.

Kerri

[AmyLynn]

Well I don't really let her play with the steering wheel she just wants to. She likes to play with the clips of her car seat and if she were to play with the streering wheel the car wouldn't be turned on and the keys wouldn't be in the ignition.

There are a lot of things that 2 year olds want to do.....but they don't always know what is right or wrong...That is where we as parents have to teach them what they can and cannot do.

I didn't want to post even longer than I originally did, but let me explain my post further. Now what I am about to share is an extreme story, but things like this can happen, and that I why I choose to never let Ashton play with my car's steering wheel.

Anyways, this actually happened here in Las Vegas - a 4 year old was in his parents SUV "playing" with the steering wheel while it was parked in the driveway, and then decided to also play with the gear shift. Their driveway is an incline downward and the SUV went into neutral, and rolled back over his 2 year old sister, crushing her skull. She ended up not surviving her injuries.

Now again, this is a tragic and extreme story, and I will not let Ash play behind the car parked or not, but you never know what could happen.....better safe than sorry.

[MelissaM]

This is an ongoing thing with my almost-3-year-old since he was about two. I try to let him be in control of something, like he wants to buckle it himself, which takes forever but makes it much more pleasant for him. Or he gets to pull the door closed himself (although I'm really outside hip-checking it closed because he's not strong enough). I agree that safety is important, but having a huge traumatic thing isn't good for them easier. Just planning the extra few minutes into my day makes it easier for me. There must be something she could enjoy or do when getting in the car. I let my kids play in the front of the car all the time. Why not? They don't have the keys. I don't know, some kids are just different.

Kerri
I was just going to post the exact same thing! Jacob also likes to be told well in advance if we are going in the car...I will remind him that he has to sit in his seat for a little while and he is usually fine with that.

I also let Jacob play in the front of the car all the time. I am usually standing right outside or sitting in the passenger seat....he loves it and I have absolutely no problem with it.

[Jayne]

I was also going to add the story of an accident..I believe it is the same one that AmyLynn shared. For this reason my children don't play in the front seat of the car ever. You don't always have to have Keys for something to happen!

One thing that has worked for us is to let Alyssa "help" Buckle herself in. I let her hold one side of the strap and clip it to the other. (which I am holding) and then I hold the middle piece between her legs and she and I clip the other two clips in. She loves to help and will usually get in without a problem if I say she can. Another thing I let her do is get into the car and into her seat on her own. She likes to be a big girl and these things all help. AND FINALLY..if she refuses to get into her seat. I will get in the drivers seat. Face forward and refuse to start the car or get out or even look at her until she gets in her seat. (This only happened once) She gets rather upset if I won't pay attention to her and you know what..She got in her seat!

Jayne

[Kris]

. AND FINALLY..if she refuses to get into her seat. I will get in the drivers seat. Face forward and refuse to start the car or get out or even look at her until she gets in her seat. (This only happened once) She gets rather upset if I won't pay attention to her and you know what..She got in her seat!

Jayne

wow this is a great idea too I will have to try it.

I do let her help me buckle herself in as well but it doean't always work and she really can't do it by herself yet and gets to frustrated in trying because it is beyond her capabilities. I let her climb up herself as well but she has to clip the clip across the chest first :lol: so she doesn't usually make it into her seat by herself. I don't mind waiting a few extra mins like Kerri said but we would be there all day.

That incident that Amy posted is very sad and tragic.

[Brooke]

I also let Rebekah play in the front seat of the car. In my car, like alot of newer cars, you have to push the brake in all the way in order to shift the car out of park. There is no way she could have the coordination do that at this age.

[tjham]

My granddaughter is almost 3 and gets in her car seat fine now, but we went through similar phases. I remember having to physically bend her in the middle to get her in the car seat and buckled in while she screamed her head off in the Walmart parking lot. All the while, I was talking to her soothingly, but it had NO affect on her! This was several months after the incident where the woman was video taped hitting her child in her car. I was so worried someone would hear her and report me! Whew!

She HATES the straps to be tight. I tried loosening them while she got in and then tightening them and that was worse! She was even more aware of them being tight. So I have them at the right level of tightness (we don't need jackets anymore) before I put her in and that seems to work out better for her.

Now, if she hesitates to get in, if I start counting to 5 (not like a punishment, more like a game) she rushes to beat me! SHE has to push the clip together though!

We also keep special small toys in the car that she only gets after being buckled in.

Good Luck!

[Brandi]

Most of what I have to say is a repeat of what's been said.

1. I ask Carter if he wants to get into the car and his seat by himself or if he would like me to help.
2. If he is fooling around, I ask him again and then if he doesn't move immediately, I do one of the following:
2a. I either tell him that I am counting to 3 and if he isn't in his seat or at least moving toward it, then I will help him. I try to make it sound like it's his choice and not a punishment.
2b. OR, I try something like saying "how fast can you get into your seat?" or "Are you going to go SLOW or FAST into your seat?"
I usually try 2b first and then 2a as the last resort.

3. I have used bribery too, but I try not to do this much because I don't like it (but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?!)

When Carter does it all by himself, I praise him soooooo much for being a big boy and doing it so fast! I try to give him as much attention as I can.

GOOD LUCK!