What is your discipline style?

[AmyJ]

[Stacy]

I like to pick my battles.
We use a time-out system if he doesn't respond to redirection.
He has gotten a spank or two on the diapered/clothed bottom but that isn't something I am proud of.
Lately all that is needed is a simple redirection.

[MelissaM]

We don't use any physical discipline at all.

We use positive reinforcement, redirection, age appropriate expectations and gentle guidance.

[Dennis]

We're pretty similar to Melissa. Redirection works great with Joe - we've never even had to give him a timeout. I also agree with Stacy - we pick our battles. A lot of things aren't worth the fight, but when we do lay down the law, we stick to our guns.

Dennis

[~Andrea~]

I'm honestly not sure yet. Gabrielle is only 16 months (in 3 days) so she doesn't understand much more than simple "NO". I'd like to think I will never spank her, but I know that just isn't the case. It's what I know and how I was brought up. Flame me all you want, but I don't believe a spanking will harm a child emotionally OR physically. I'm not talking abuse her, just a swat on the bottom. Especially with a child who doesn't respond to anything else. I hope that Gabrielle is like I was as a child, then she won't need to be spanked. I was always more upset knowing I disappointed my parents than I would be if I got spanked. And the few times (I can count on 1 hand the number) I did get spanked, I learned my lesson and never repeated the offense again.

[Jillian]

I'd like to say we do everything like Mellissa, but we really aren't there yet...for now the only thing we have ever used with Janelle is redirection and it works great, but she is still really young.

[Connie1222]

We use time-outs and redirection.

[chefkath]

It's easier to say what we don't do. We don't use consequences, except natural ones. We don't use "1,2,3" type stuff, or time outs. We don't yell, don't judge, don't lecture or moralize, and we don't use violence. So far, we've never had to discipline Brigit for anything.

What we do use is a lot of talking and a lot of active listening. We tend to think of all parenting in terms of being proactive - how to prevent ever getting into a situation in which we might need to use discipline. We believe our jobs are to guide and influence by modeling the behavior we expect, not to control by dictating what we want from her. To that end, we talk about our expectations - we talk about what we're doing, where we're going, what we'll do there and why we'll be doing it. We talk about our feelings, Brigit's feelings, and the feelings of anyone else we're going to be around. We solicit a lot of input from Brigit on everything we do. We use empathy and we encourage Brigit to express her emotions in healthy ways.

We also use the strategy of keeping the environment, the activities and our expectations age-appropriate. We don't ask Brigit to do things a 2 1/2 year old should not be expected to do (sit still for long lengths of time, keep her clothes clean, be quiet for an extended period, not touch anything, etc.) We don't expose her to things she's not allowed to have. We don't take her places when she's tired, sick or grouchy.

[MelissaM]

And a big DITTO to everything Kathleen said! :nod:

[Dennis]

We also use the strategy of keeping the environment, the activities and our expectations age-appropriate. We don't ask Brigit to do things a 2 1/2 year old should not be expected to do (sit still for long lengths of time, keep her clothes clean, be quiet for an extended period, not touch anything, etc.) We don't expose her to things she's not allowed to have. We don't take her places when she's tired, sick or grouchy.

ITA. I think this is 90% of it - not putting them in situations they can't handle. I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations of children's behavior.

Dennis

[Karri]

Kathleen - Can you reccommend any books?

[chefkath]

Kathleen - Can you reccommend any books?
I can! :) These are my 2 favorite parenting books:

Parent Effectiveness Training (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0609806939/qid=1083626594/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4782634-5909412?v=glance&s=books) (terrible name, I know- but it's a wonderful book.)

The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0865714401/qid=1083626727/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4782634-5909412?v=glance&s=books)


This is not specifically a parenting book, but I find myself referring to it all the time along my parenting journey, so I recommend it too:

NonViolent Communication (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1892005034/qid=1083627053/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4782634-5909412?v=glance&s=books)

This is what I'm reading right now and I'm finding it really useful as well:

Punished By Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0618001816/qid=1083627086/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4782634-5909412?v=glance&s=books)

[Stacy]

Kathleen - Can you reccommend any books?

Please take this as a compliment....

Never mind books she read, I bet she could write a very good one.
I would be in line to buy it.

[Karri]

Thank you!!! And my library has them!! :)

[Connie1222]

ITA. I think this is 90% of it - not putting them in situations they can't handle. I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations of children's behavior.

Dennis
I totally agree with this too.

[Karly]

ITA. I think this is 90% of it - not putting them in situations they can't handle. I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations of children's behavior.

DennisI agree as well, Dennis. Tyrus is a perfect angel when he's not tired or in a situation that isn't good for him. When he is tired though, watch out!! :lol: That's why I stick to my guns to ensure that he does sleep and everything else works out so much easier.

Ty seems to respond well to incentives. I talk to him about a fun activity that we're planning, and then say that he must take a nice nap so that he'll be feeling good for the activity. He usually does it very well.

Sometimes it doesn't work though, and I've found that I need to get to his level and talk with him about how he's feeling, and how I'm feeling, etc. That usually helps, too.