AP Parents Unite!

[Mom2Alex]

Any other AP parents out there? :)

[Carla]

Yep!! :D

I'm going off the computer for a little while but I'll be back later to write more

[Cortney]

We AP! :)

[Mom2Alex]

I don't know if it's just the town that I live in, but it seems so counter-culture to AP...

Do you all feel that way?

What guides you as you try to AP? Do you have any books that you specifically like?

[Rene]

I've been APing since before it was even called APing! :lol: My first son was born in 1982 and thats when I became an AP Mama and I have never, and will never, do it any other way. I don't do CIO because I believe when babies are crying they have a need of some kind and I want to answer it....we co-sleep......I have always used a backpack (way back when!) and a sling now too. I just can't imagine parenting in any other manner. Looking forward to meeting other APers. :)

[chefkath]

I guess we're lucky ... Seattle is very AP friendly. I actually can only think of one set of parents I know who DON'T AP! :aok:

I love all the Sears books, especially "The Successful Child." I also like Mothering Magazine and the Mothering message boards (www.mothering.com (http://www.mothering.com/)) for AP advice. We belong to two different AP groups - one meets one night a week, the other one night a month. And Brigit and Shawn go to a playgroup on Saturday mornings that is organized by the leader of NW Attachment Parenting.

[mommyLil]

We AP ... I believe with all my heart that it is the best way to raise a child. I absolutally will never let Nick CIO under any circumstances. I like having him close to me so I do wear him in a Bjorn.

AP is very uncommon here. Than again so are most of my beliefs. Most people looked at me like I'd lost my mind when I said I wanted a natural birth and planned to breastfeed. But I did join LLL and found an AP group in Indy to surround myself with a good support system.

[JenM]

Yep :) I do AP... although I didn't have my DD in bed all night with us. She typically ended up coming to bed around 4 or 5 in the morning to BF and stayed until morning. Then we'd take most all our naps together throughout the day. That's probably the only aspect of AP we didn't adhere to... I just couldn't sleep with her there all night! With this baby I will at least have her in her cradle right next to my bed. I imagine she'll end up staying in bed with us quite a bit, though. DH is more open to having the new baby in bed with us than he'd ever felt with our first daughter. In fact, the few times lately that I've tried to bring our toddler into bed with us at night... due to illness or bad dreams or whatever.. he's been truly disappointed that she just couldn't settle down and SLEEP in our bed with us. I guess she's just not used to the environment and would get too excited to settle in. I'm looking forward to her getting a little older and being more in control of her emotions so that she might be able to nap with me once again.

I must admit... that is the one thing I will very much miss with this second bundle.... The ability to take naps with her on and off as needed through the day. With an 18 month old toddler it just won't happen :( We'll only really be able to nap while Zoe is napping. The rest of the time I imagine she'll be sleeping in her sling with me.

Since Zoe was my first, I actually ended up carrying her and holding her more as a baby then having her in a sling... I didn't need my hands free. For this baby, I know I WILL need my hands free... to continue playing with Zoe... so I invested in a NoJo. I've been trying it out... it just feels so foreign to me! I guess practice will make perfect.

As far as CIO goes... Could NEVER do that! Still don't do that! Even when I know my DD is just having a toddler tantrum or pouting or whatever... I still feel compelled to comfort her. I honestly don't understand how people CAN let their kids CIO. It just wrenches me in the gut and makes it pretty darn impossible as an option!

I agree that all of the Sears books are amazing! When I was preparing for Zoe I read the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and thought that was the way I was going to go... More and more often, though it just didn't FEEL right. I finally invested in The Successful Child and got HOOKED. I ended up buying his whole library, practically :) :lol: I made tons of dietary changes after reading The Nutrition Book and even make my whole family take JuicePlus. I'm a walking advertisement for the Sears'... well.. to those who I know are receptive, anyway.

Okay... this was long! :blush:

[Juliemaye]

We plan to AP...and I have found that even here in liberal CA there aren't all that many AP moms...but maybe that is just in my circles. I am meeting more through the Doula stuff I am doing so that is good :)

We plan to BF, never CIO, maybe co sleep, I want to buy a sling and my whole view of what it means to be a parent is in tune with AP...I am not sure how it will all play out once we have a baby but I just can't see myself being a non AP parent.

[earocks]

We will be doing AP'ing when our son is born, so I am looking forward to hearing everyone's experiences on this thread!

[Carla]

I find where I live, very few people AP, or at least the people I know have no intrest in most aspects of it. I don't talk much about my parenting practices because I'm tired of the condemnation.

I was rather impressed, though. When I went for my first prenatal appointment, which is in the maternity ward of our hospital, there was a copy of Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting on the bookshelf of a waiting area. I hope people will pick it up and read it.

I'm glad for what I've learned over my son's life so it will make things so much easier this time around. NO getting up 20 times a night as the baby will be right there (we have a crib side-carred onto our bed but by the time we did that, Ethan hated the crib so much he wouldn't sleep on it), no tired arms because now I have several slings and baby carriers, not being scared to reply to the baby's cues, not being obsessed with some of the ridiculous parenting books that are out there that in actuality are anti-ap, ect...

[mommyLil]

One area I feel my son really loses out on is the sleeping thing :( We only have a full size bed and there simply isn't room to co-sleep. He's in our room by our bed. He just recently outgrown the bassinet so we moved the crib in our room but I hate it. THe crib is big and with the borders (Which have to be there because he moves so much in his sleep that he'd bump his head) we can't see him which means when he wakes he can't see us. We're trying to redo our budget to throw in buying a queen or king size bed but we can't afford it if we want me to stay home. It really makes me sad though that we can't have him in bed with us. We always put him in the bed when he wakes and is a little hyper so that we can lay down with him and he gets so content that we'd all be happier that way my DH and I are litterally pushed to the edge of the bed though cause he moves so much so we transfer him to the crib.

[MelissaM]

I've been an AP for 15 years now! And was lucky enought to be raised by parents who practice AP as well...

[Faye]

I have fond memories of sleeping with my mom as a child and I have done that so far with both of my children. My son slept in bed with me up until 4 years old. :) My daughter sleeps alone some nights but most of the time I'm right there with her. The only regret I have is never breastfeeding.

[JenM]

Melissa.. you are SOOO lucky to have parents who AP'd as well. My parents definitely do NOT get it. We never slept in the same bed.. my mom wouldn't have DREAMT of BFing... I think from the moment we came out of the womb they were "pushing" us towards autonomy. My mom even wrote in my baby journal that I seemed "happiest" alone in my crib.. so she let me stay there most of the day. I just don't GET it. And to the same token, they don't "get" me. Even when my DD was WEEKS old... she would cry and I would comfort... they would say "You better not do that every time. She'll become 'dependent' on your attention. She'll never learn to quiet herself", etc... Fortunately, my parents live a ways away :lol: I sure LOVE them... but we just aren't on the same wavelength. MY DH's mom, on the other hand, seemed to be an AP mom. She probably doesn't even know the term or that that is what she really was. But her instincts and philosophies are all right in sync with us.

[MelissaM]

Jen....I am lucky. My parents are the most amazing people...I am also lucky in the fact that they are now my children's caregivers during the day when I am at work. So there is no chance that they will do something that I don't approve of or do myself :nod:

[mama2jackson]

I'm an AP'er too!!!! Jackson is 11 months and is a co-sleeping, breastfeeding THRIVING little man!!!! I LOVE the fact that Jackson sleeps right next to me and I can parent him during the night (I work during the day, so this is our special bonding time). My husband is on the other side of things, I have had to do a lot of teaching :lol:.

I was lucky, my parents were AP'ers too, even though they never knew that. I was breastfed for 3 years (as were my 2 brothers), we co-slept and were carried in slings. My mom was even a LLL leader back in the day. I'm glad that if I have an issue I know that I can talk to my parents about it. Now my IL's on the other hand were from the formula, CIO era and did that with my husband when he was a baby. They even asked what my pedi said about co-sleeping and breastfeeding!!!! :eek:

[mybabygarrett]

I guess we practice some of the AP concepts... I BF'd until I was forced to stop, we co-sleep, we don't believe in CIO, I'm a SAHM for the most part and I am constantly holding Garrett. Is that what AP is somewhat about?

Stacey

[AllyRae]

I AP Brandon....I tell people Brandon was meant to go to parents who practice AP--he's VERY high needs (and had colic now...) Holding him doesn't stop the crying all the time, but I can't imagine leaving him to work things out on his own by CIO. It's a challenge trying to AP a colicy high-needs baby, but I truely think that it is the only form of parenting that will help Brandon overcome his challenges and help him be a confident strong child--his personality just seems to demand AP!

[AimB]

We are AP too. :) I can't imagine parenting any other way. Jacob is 2, and he is the happiest most loving little boy I've ever known. As he gets older, I am really starting to see the effect AP has had, and it's wonderful. :D

[Karri]

We AP, too. While I feel that the core of it involves following their cues, I am still having a hard time with feeling that I am being an excellent parent to my twins. Yeah, I follow their cues, but I am also not supermom.....with two and a toddler, there are times that someone has to cry for a bit before mom can get to them. So.......if ANYONE has advice, please pipe up!!

[Jillian]

We are AP parents, mostly because that is what comes naturally. We have never let Janelle cio, we co-sleep, we use a sling (but we also use a stroller as well, whichever she wants at the time). My daughter is 16 months old and I'm 27 weeks pregnant and we are still breast feeding.... I don't know what else we do is considered AP and what is just considered crazy hippy-like parenting :lol:...but we won't be circumsising our son, we do selective vaccinations (as soon as Janelle's stupid molars that keep getting infected come in she is getting her first vaccines ever :( ), I made all her food (though she didn't take baby food for long.)....

We live just outside of Ann Arbor and ann arbor seems to be very pro-ap as far as I can tell.

[AllyRae]

Really Jillian? I'm originally from Michigan and we're looking to move back to either Ohio or Michigan in the next year or so. I'm glad to hear that about Ann Arbor!

[Kris]

We AP as well

be back to post more hard to type while nursing:)

[Mom2Alex]

I know that AP is a really broad spectrum... what does it mean to you?

I know for us, it's a lot like what Karri says... it's about responding to our babies needs and cues. It's about saying that an infants needs are the same as their wants and that you cannot spoil an infant with love and affection.

We do some co-sleeping, though not all the time, and we have bf exclusively for 6 months to be then followed by my making food and her moving to table foods. We're also extended nursers now. :) We also use our sling more than I ever thought we would, and we continue to use it now (I've gotten the best responses from ppl in malls when I'm out with DD in it!).

Who are your favorite AP authors? I think for us, it would be Dr. Sears, Dr. Jay Gordon and Gregory Popcak. Without those three, I'm not sure where we'd be sometimes! :lol:

[Jen A]

I know that AP is a really broad spectrum... what does it mean to you?
I'm basically an AP parent, as is DH. I'm wary of labelling myself, though, because my basic parenting philosophy is doing what works for MY family. I don't follow *every* single AP method, but it's the closest description to our parenting style.

I bf'ed both my sons, and coslept f/t with Jackson for 8 months (only sporadically with Austin, who slept well in a crib). I used a baby carrier, but never got the hang of a sling. I held both boys a lot, and still do. I have let my kids cry, however - sometimes it's unavoidable (IMHO). I have used a modified CIO method, but only as a last resort, and only after my kids were past 1 year of age. To me, responding to their cues is what came naturally, and I never worried about adhering to a schedule - they both worked into their own unique schedules, and we just go with the flow.

I avoid parenting books, since they usually end up making me feel inadequate or stupid. I don't need the additional guilt about my parenting methods, and I'm very comfortable parenting by instinct.

[sheila]

just making this lonely thread show up again :)

[JenM]

I am TOTALLY loving my new baby... and with this one I'm so much more relaxed I enjoy co-sleeping with her, too. I think I'll be an even better AP parent now. The first baby I was way too worried about every little peep she would make at night and couldn't get any sleep! I do find AP-ing two much more challenging than one... but I guess that goes without saying LOL

I bought a NOJO with the intention of wearing Ellie most of the day... but I really find that I can't get all that much done with her strapped to me... Especially playing with my older DD. It's basically just a maneuverability issue. I had these dreams of just wearing her while I did dishes, laundry, played with Zoe, etc... Who else has worn their baby? Is it just a matter of practice and getting used to it? I find I end up carrying her for hours a day anyway... she is definitely one who loves being held and I can tell she feels much happier and more secure in our arms. But I do end up having her in her bouncy seat and just carrying the seat all over the house with me.. that way I can grab her up right away if I need to and it does free my hands to do other things. Hmmm... any other suggestions?

[SarahK]

Brian and I practice attachment parenting, although he was surprised to find out it has a name...he thinks our parenting style is common sense!

We don't cry it out, I nurse Katie on demand, and our routine is flexible according to Katie's needs. We don't cosleep at night though (except when Katie needs extra cuddles) but she does nap on me every day--and I love it!!

[Isaiah's Momma]

I pretty much consider my self an AP. We coslept a lot when Isaiah was under 5 months and he still spends at least some part of every night in bed with us, we too only have a full sized bed though so thats why we started getting him to sleep in his crib. I really hope to get a mini arms reach co sleeper for #2. Im still BFing at 8 months. I wore him in a baby carrier a lot when he was younger but he is getting a bit heavy for me so he goes in the stroller or shopping cart a lot now, though DH is starting to enjoy wearing him when he is along. Im a SAHM too.

As for friends and family my mom was an AP so she understands but my best friend had a baby in Feb '03 and she is very anti AP. She lets her son CIO, she formula feed, says that baby wearing would hurt her back and she is anti cloth diapers too. Any how I was talking to her once about parenting choices once and she said my son was going to get "too atached", Ive never actualy told her that I AP but I felt like saying well thats the point!

[Demetria06]

Did I not post here already??? I am a huge advocate for AP! We have done this with all 3 of our babies! Simeon isnt breastfed, although I did try, but all the other methods of AP I live by :)

[aylhu]

Just wanted to check in here, too! I don't know how "hard core" I am, but we cd, bf, cosleep, baby wear and don't let our babies CIO. I would say it's AP friendly where I live, at least in the community I am involved in. We're lucky that way!

[Chantal]

*waving* :hi:

We AP with our daughter. My only downfall... was that I had bad PPD at when Kaitlyn was around 7months old and had to be put on medication. Therefore I chose to quit BF'ing - I didnt like the idea of her getting the meds through my milk - even though I was told it wouldnt harm her.

We made homemade foods... and transitioned to table food from there...

We semi-coslept... Kaitlyn has always been a squirmer...and it made for some long nights... but our naps have always been together - on days where I am not working.

I run a home daycare because we did not believe in putting our learning and development in the hands of someone else. Given my daycare worker experience, we thought it best to have me stay home and make money with my own daycare :)

We didnt use a sling - I am short and it wasnt comfy for me. However, we did carry and hold Kaitlyn alot as an infant.

[JessPearl]

Hello! We AP except that I stopped breastfeeding at about 8 weeks when I went back to work. Other than that I wore Dylan in a sling when he was younger, we still wear him in the Baby Bjorn, never let him CIO, he is held a lot and we co-sleep. He slept in the Arms Reach co-sleeper for the first few months and then he refused and only would sleep in his swing during the day and then in our bed all night. It's very cramped in our queen bed though so we either have to try to get him in his crib or buy a king size bed. :)