Adopting your stepchild(ren)?

[bunybomb]

Would you adopt your stepchildren or want your DH to adopt your children? I will be pursuing adoption of my SD in the fall. According to our lawyer, we can file for adoption after 3 years of marriage and 2 years of no support from the non-custodial bioparent. My daughter has only seen her biomom for two days in two years as her mother has moved to another state.

I know every situation is different. I just wondered if it presented itself, how would you feel.

[koalita]

I think it would depend on the situation... In ours, DSS lives with his mom during the week and with us on weekends, then on vacations he spends a week with us then a week with her etc. DSS would love to live with us full-time, but he is still so close to his mom, I can't imagine him wanting me to adopt him even if his mom would consider letting me. If she wasn't as involved with him or didn't want anything to do with him, then I would definitely consider it - I've known him his whole life, we have a great relationship, and he and my son are closer than most full brothers (we always refer to them as brothers and never use the term half-brother in front of them). I don't know if that answered your question though...?

[Valerie]

absolutely. If they didn't have contact with their other parent (in our case they are living with their mom, so it won't happen). I love them both very much and would absolutely want to adopt them IF they were ok with it. I would definitely make sure they wanted it too.

[Sherry]

I voted yes.....

I was previously married to an $#$&$^#@*^ of a man. I divorced him as soon as I found out I was pregnant as didnt want my child to go thru all the crap he put me thru. He was never around, would dissapear for months on end etc.. Tried for 3 yrs of my sons life to keep contact with him.... I finally gave up and decided that if Sons father wanted to "truly" see him he would make the effort..Well, here we are, he is now 7 yrs and hasnt seen him. .........................on to the good part.

I met my now husband and from day one my son was there with us, he treated him like his own. Our very first "meeting/date" my son was with me of course and he thought enought to bring coloring books, crayons, toys, juice and snacks with him to give to him. He from the first time we talked said, I dont beleive there is ever a reason not to have the children with us while we are together ( as in date etc ) So, needless to say, for an entire year, it was the 3 of us every single day! ( yes we were pathetic, seeing each other every day ) I even moved his school to where he was using his address etc. He would pick him up every day and cook us dinner etc, just like a perfect family....then he asked me to marry him. I found out from my son that he asked him first ( which is the right way to do it ) son had NO problem with it as he was already trying to call him daddy anyway. Well, DH then suggested adopting him so he will not feel left out of the family. ( he suggested - not me - how wonderful is that!) So, again, it was up to my son, he said yes, and we did it. - of course with no complaing from my ex husband.

Its the best thing to have ever happend. We now have a daughter too and his 2 children from a previous marriage and Biologically now they are all 1/2 brothers and sisters instead of stepbrother etc.... I am amazed each and every day how its just like "we" had our son. Its even funny that people have approached us and said to him, you look just like your daddy, you dont look anything like your mommy. ( we just give each other that "look" since we know the truth ) Its a wonderful thing to do, especially if there are more kids involved. I couldnt imagine my sons feelings that he would be the only "step" child and his little sister would have our name and he would not. He would have been truly upset!