For those of you who know you're done having children....

How did you know that your family was complete? DH keeps saying we're not having any more, but I still have this feeling that something is missing. And the thought of never being pg again makes me really sad. :blue: I always thought I'd only want 2, but now that I have them, I really think I want another.

How did you know you were "done"?

Edited to say: I love my 2 kids more than anything and if something happened and I COULDN'T have any more, I'd be perfectly happy with that.

Well for us it really is a number of factors

1. Our children are SO far apart....7 years between each one, which means I now have a 16 year old, a 9 year old and a 2 year old...I feel like I have been a parent my whole life, and in reality, I am ready for a bit of "me" time.

2. The logistics of having another child finacially. It would just about break us I believe. As it is we are confortable right now, but right on the cusp of living paycheck to paycheck...

3. My prime babysitters for all three of my children are my parents. I wouldn't have it any other way and they have told me in no uncertain terms that they are retiring after Jacob goes to school :lol:

4. William, my middle son, has also told me that if we bring another baby into the house he is packing his things up and moving in with his Nan :lol: He is half joking, but he is also right, another baby would be very stressful

5. I miss my husband terribly. We have barely anytime to be together because we are always so BUSY. I can't wait for the day that we can actually sit and talk and cuddle on the couch without falling asleep because we are both worn out!

Wow. when you break it all down like that...seems like an easy decision for us!

i am done with a capital D :lol:

the primary factory is my age. i'm almost 38 and pg with #2. damn i'm tired, and it's only going to get worse! the daycare cost for 2 is going to be really tough so 3 is out of the question. (staying home is also out of the question). i'll be having my tubes tied during my section to avoid any oops babies.

i never thought i'd get married, nevermind have kids so i feel lucky already!

I'm not sure I'll feel "done" anymore than I felt "ready." :lol: Our general plan is that if we haven't decided to have more children by the time I approach my 35th birthday (3-1/2 more years), DH will get snipped. We feel comfortable with our current situation and have many reasons for wanting to stick with an only child, but we have reserved the right to change our minds for the next few years.

I dont think I have what it takes to have any more children. I think I'd lose it :lol: Aside from that, I have two of the same reasons as Melissa -


2. The logistics of having another child finacially. It would just about break us I believe. As it is we are confortable right now, but right on the cusp of living paycheck to paycheck...

5. I miss my husband terribly. We have barely anytime to be together because we are always so BUSY. I can't wait for the day that we can actually sit and talk and cuddle on the couch without falling asleep because we are both worn out!
There are moments where I look outside and see the neighborhood kids outside, playing, and their moms & dads are relaxing on the porch and chatting with other neighbors. I look SOOOOOOOOOOOO freaking forward to that moment....when I dont have to be within 2 steps of Aidan at all times so that he doesnt run off. And when I can run in the house for a glass of water or to pee w/o having to drag all three kids back in with me.

Yes - the thought of not being PG again makes me sad. But if I really think about it, I think I want to have a normal, happy 9 months of pregnancy (since I feel like I was cheated w/ the last PG) more than I would want the end product.

Ever since I was old enough to imagine myself as a mommy, I've always pictured myself with two kids. A boy and a girl, even! I never really thought I was the type to have more than two. After Emma, there was a brief period where I thought maybe three would be good, but DH only wants two, and it wasn't hard to convince me that a family of four sounds right to us.

Now that I've been pg a second time and have two under two, I feel fairly certain that two is where we will indeed stop. I didn't enjoy being pg the second time around as much as the first, and am looking forward to a year from now when I can have my body back entirely (i.e., no more bfing). I'm turning 33 this year, and I too am ready to have my body back to myself, in addition to being done with the "newborn" stage. I keep dreaming of 2 years from now when the kids are old enough that we can go on family trips and actually ALL have fun. :)

We're not going to do anything permanent in the birth control area just yet, but like Bobbie, I'm thinking that if we don't have any more kids by the time I'm 35, DH is off to get snipped.

My whole life I've only wanted either one or two children - either a girl, or a boy and a girl. We had my son two years ago and since I always wanted a girl, we decided to try one more time for one. Plus I didn't feel "done" yet... I missed being pregnant after I had him, and I just knew I wanted to be able to hold a little baby again. Now that I'm pregnant again, I feel like I'm done. This pregnancy has been a lot harder than my first, and like others have already said, there's no way we could financially support another baby. My DH has a son from a previous relationship too, so we already really have three kids, which is more than I ever wanted (but I wouldn't have it any other way now!). Plus I was an only child, and I can't imagine how hectic it would be with yet another kid around.

I don't any more kids, at least not for a long time. I had 3 under 2, and am going absolutely crazy. However, I am only 26, so I might change my mind in my 30's, so we didn't take any permanent precautions. I would miss not being pregnant again, I think, but I"m like Karri, I miss being pregnant more than I want another kid. I've thought about maybe being a surrogate for someone to try and get over that feeling, but who knows. :dunno: 3 is more than plenty for me at this time in my life....

I'm BAD at pregnancy...between the 2 I had almost every possible complication...this last time was really scary. So that is the 1 and only reason we are done...dh really wants 2 more, I'd like 4 more...but pregnancy just is not an option we will probably adopt, but not for awhile....

i am done with a capital D :lol:
I feel this way with my 19 month old and I'm not pregnant. I just turned 37 and there is no way I could do this again, let alone at 40! I never really pictured myself with more than one and I'm blessed with two.

I still cried when leaving the "V" doc once Chris got snipped. :tear:

I'm done basically because of 2 reasons...financially, we couldn't support any more kids'.
And reason #2 is for my sanity :lol: 4 kids' is a lot to deal with and the struggles with attention and whose not getting enough or who feels neglected or wants me to drop everything I'm doing to come play with them. For whatever the reason, there's just not enough of me to handle anymore. It makes me sad to think about it because I loved being pregnant, giving birth..all of it, I loved it. I love watching them grow and how different they all are. If my tubes weren't already clamped, I have to admit I would be sooo very tempted to have another in a few years.

WOW - Good answers! I loved reading all your reasons. We aren't SURE that we'll be done after 2, but we are both leaning towards that. We'll just have to see.

We're done for a number of reasons. We actually tried for #2 for 9 months, without success, and now we're really relieved that our prayers for another baby went unanswered.

My health is, by far, the biggest reason we're done. At this point, I couldn't carry another baby if I wanted to - it would be a huge risk to me and to the baby, not to mention the scary side effects of the meds I'm taking on a developing baby. And even if I recover entirely from my lung problems and have a normal lung capacity again someday, the fact remains that my lung problems started during my pregnancy with Katie. Although I doubt one had anything to do with the other, it's still way too scary to imagine getting pregnant again, and possibly going through all of this lung crap again.

We also have the same concerns about finances and about time spent together as a couple that Karri and Melissa mentioned. I'm about 99% sure we're done, and DH is about 95% sure we're done, but we're holding off on the V for a little bit, just to be sure. However, in the meantime, we're being VERY careful. :)

We are so done! After Alex and Victoria ended up being a two in two years we decided that we were done then but life held one more surprise for us - Lauren. After she came, Jim went in for the snip-snip. Life isn't easy financially or emotionally but we don't have any regrets about anything and know that not having anymore children is a GOOD thing for us.

DH is getting the Big V on Friday...so we're done. Not entirely sure how I feel about that...I feel like #3 would have been a son...but who knows. And we're done for health reasons...after having PIH twice, with bedrest and 2 preemies who were in the NICU for 3 weeks each, I'm pretty much guaranteed to get it with any future pregnancies. So...we're done.

Thanks Everyone! :) This has been really interesting!

Add me to the list of Done with a capital D.

Health reasons would make another pregnancy pretty risky for me, so DH had the big V last August. Even if this hadn't been the case, we were pretty sure we'd stop at 2 anyway. I've just always pictured myself with 2 kids.

[QUOTE=Jillian]I'm BAD at pregnancy...QUOTE]

DITTO!!! :nod: I had my tubes tied during my c-section with Sarah. So the factory is definitely closed!!! :rotflmao:

We are done for the fact that we have 4 kids.

2 15yr olds a 7 yr old and a 8 month old...so yes....we are done.....

No to mention DH is 42 this year so he will be 62 before littlest finishes college...

This is such a great thread for me right now. I'm having baby no 2 on Monday via repeat c-section and I made the difficult decision to have my tubes tied. We have a daughter already and this baby is a surprise so I don't know what flavor we are getting......originally I thought if this baby was another girl, we'd try for a boy but the further into the pregnancy I got the more I talked to my DH to make sure he'd be comfortable either way. It's not that I had a difficult pregnancy like some of the other girls, but financially, I don't think we can afford anymore and emotionally I don't know that I could do this again. It was not an easy decision by any means and sometimes I'm nervous that we are making the right one.....but I'll have two under 18 months and I'm turning 35 in August....by the time I'd be ready for no. 3, I'd be a little older than I would like.....I can't see things getting any easier. I feel blessed to have experienced pregnancy twice in my life and I will be grateful for my two children and hopefully be able to give them all that they need or want.

A year ago after having Patrick I told myself and everyone else that I was done. I even told my Mom that she now had to rely on my brother to produce a Granddaughter for her because there was no way I would do it again. What a difference a year makes! Dh has convinced me to take a shot at TTC for our third and final time. So it looks like we will try again this fall or winter. I am nervous but it just seems that no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I am done it's just not true. I always felt that I was destined to have three children. Only time will tell if this is true!

Lora

I think we're done. DH would like to keep the option of #3 on the table for a little while longer, as he is hoping for a boy. But.... even though I think about having another one, I really think I am done.

Why? Well, I have always thought a family of 4 seemed right for me for a million silly reasons (like a table for 4 at a restaurant is easier to get than a table for 5, with 2 kids, no one has to sit in the middle). Many of the other reasons also hold true for me: the finances, my age, my emotional well being. Also, like Bretta, I think having an even number of kids is better/easier... and I know that if we went for #3, I would feel a serious need to go for #4, and I really don't think I can handle 4!

Yes - the thought of not being PG again makes me sad. But if I really think about it, I think I want to have a normal, happy 9 months of pregnancy (since I feel like I was cheated w/ the last PG) more than I would want the end product.
I read this and though "that's me!!" not because I had an unhealthy or difficult pregnancy but it wasn't what I thought it would be. My pregnancy was a suprised and really came at a bad time. Nate & I were building a house in Fl, living in NC, getting ready to move and get new jobs, Nate was getting out of the Army and with the war things were very uncertain. We litterlly didn't know if we were going to loose our house in Fl or not or where we would be living because the Army stop lossed Nate. So anyhow we were very stressed and I don't feel that I got the attention and support that I needed. Not to mention that I spent my 6th & 7th month of pregnancy miserably living with friend in NC while Nate had to go ahead and move to FL.

We (mostly Nate) always said there would only be one. I was an only child and was perfectly happy. We feel like we can give Abby so much more financially and attention-wise if she is the only one. Plus I really don't think I could afford daycare for 2 kids nor would I be sane! But I just feel like I want to experience pregnancy and childbirth again. I get really sad everytime Abby grows out of clothes and I realize that I will never experience having an infant to hold again. I feel like my heart want one thing but my mind knows I need another thing... only one child.

This is a really hard one for me, too. Josh really says that he's done, that' he's happy with two and that there is one for each of us. In some ways, I totally agree with him. We've got the perfect family. However, I just don't know if I feel complete yet. :dunno: I can't help but think there might be one more waiting to join our family.

We are both the oldest in our familes and each have two siblings. It was perfect, I think. I agree that three is an odd number, and I don't think I'm cut out for four, so if we were to go for another, it would be the last.

Another reason why I want another one is because when we're older, I love the idea of having lots of family (grandkids, DIL's and SIL's) for the holidays and other get togethers. It just seems like the third kid would step up our chances for that. I don't know...

It's such a hard decision. Josh is only 24 and I'm 26, so to me, the thought of making any permanent decisions is really scary and frankly too early in our lives to decide, I think.

Have I mentioned this is hard?? :lol:

We're done. I had to do some serious convincing to get my dh to agree to #2, although he's very happy with our boys.

About a month after Jackson had the all-clear from the cardiologist, he scheduled a vasectomy. No prompting from me, which impressed me. Even though I know we're done, I did not (& do not) feel ready to tie my tubes. It just seems too final. D has said that if something happened & we were to divorce or I died & he remarried, he "has two more kids than he ever thought he would" and would not want to have more.

Two kids is what we can handle financially, which is the biggest issue. I would have loved 4 kids, but reality is different. :)

~I always wanted two children... didn't really matter what sex but I knew that I didn't want just one. As far as I can remember I always imagened myself walking around holding one child with each of my hands.
~It took a little convincing for my hubby to agree on #2... not that he will regret it b/c he's a great loving Daddy to Eliot and I just know that he will be the same way with our next baby boy b/c he's acting the same way towards this yet to be born baby as he did when I was pregnant with Eliot... in love already!
~I also know that having more than 2 would stress our finances way to much for us not to live our lives all stressed out about it and who really wants to do that? We want to be able to give our kids what they need & -why not- to maybe even have the resources to give them a little extra.
~We really want to be able to avoid full time childcare since we both want for us to be the main caregivers so that means that until our little ones are in school I will stay home or only work part time (while Daddy can take care of the kids) like I have done until now.
~I'm 35 yrs old now, had high b/p with my first pregnancy & a scare with this one that required an amnio and until this baby is in my arms safe & sound I will worry and I definitely don't see myself going thru another 9 months of this again.
~My hubby is 44yrs old... that means that when our little one goes to college he will be in his 60's... we want to be young enough to enjoy our retirement & hopefully see our chilfren grow up & maybe start a family of their own.
~Now, this all being said... I really don't feel ready to tie my tubes or do anything permanent to my body and it's really not b/c I want to be able to be pregnant again or have more children, I just think the thought of it being so final is what bothers me.