I'm having some issues with maternity leave and I'd like some input.....First some background about my job. I work for a small local government office, they pay my insurance (I'll have to pay once I add a child), I accrue sick/vacation time (one day per month of each). My job title is *office assistant*. Needless to say that through the four years I've worked here I've been given TONS of responsibilities that don't fall under my job description and yet for some reason I've stayed. I've never had a raise (well a small cost of living raise), and when I've asked for one I was told to find another job if I'm not happy. I work within a VERY politically motivated envorinment which I've come to HATE (especially considering this year is election year!). So for many reasons, DH and I have decided I will be a SAHM for as long as we can possibly handle it financially.

However, due to me being the only one with insurance, I plan to come back to work after my maternity leave for a couple of weeks and then give my notice. I'm doing this primarily because I'm afraid they'll try to cut my insurance out if I leave before I have this kid. Plus I've accrued almost 10 weeks of time that I can take (I have unpaid maternity leave except for using my time). My plan was to take ALL my vacation/sick days, come back for about two weeks, give two weeks notice and only be away from my child for about a month (during which my MIL will keep him). I'm NOT telling my boss any of this though! I *know* that she would basically treat me like crap and possibly make me lose some of my time if she knew what I planned to do. When we first discussed how long I'll be out, she was ticked that I was taking longer than 6 weeks (she wasn't aware of the FMLA). And ever since then, she keeps trying to convince me to take less time because *I'll need it because my baby will be sick constantly those first few months* (her words). So today I got tired of it and agreed to take just 8 weeks of my time. I may lose those two extra weeks, but....whatever.....Am I doing the right thing by not telling them of my true plans? I mean I *am* coming back, but only for a short amount of time. What would you do? And we can't afford for me to leave right now, these last couple of paychecks will pay off some bills that will help with me being a SAHM. I just feel incredibly guilty everytime we discuss it and then just plain angry that she's trying to run my life....Heck, she gave me a surprise shower this past week, it was a very very nice thing and in general everyone I work with are very nice people, but I felt like she was trying to *butter me up* to staying. She even went as far as to say she wished we had room in our office to create a nursery so I won't have to miss more than a week of work and I could just bring the baby in with me! Like I'd ever do that! She just is afraid she'll have to do some work while I'm out! Oh and speaking of that, another interesting thing she decided.....first, she wanted me to teach her how to do my job (yes she's my boss and has no idea), then she decided she just wants to know how to do the absolute necessary things, and now she's telling me that she'll just put all the work for me in a folder and save it until I get back! Two months worth!

It sounds like you are doing what you feel is best for you and for your family. One thing you might want to think about is if, in the future, you need a reference from this job, this situation will probably come up again.

Do you have any rights to your 10 weeks of leave if you tell them you aren't coming back??? Several people I know have quit their job (not for maternity) and then used up their vacation/leave/sick time. (so 'quit' at beginning of June, but stopped working the month before). Could you explore that possibility with someone in HR? From your post, you seem a little torn by having to keep this a secret.

Well, I don't think this should affect any future reference should I need one. My plan is to well, basically lie, and tell her that we came to this decision after I had the baby. And partially it will be true. I'm not wanting to *burn my bridges* here until we are absolutely certain we can handle things financially (which we should be certain about once I'm on maternity leave, we will have lived off just DH's salary for about 6 months at that point).

I assume I would have rights to my 10 weeks leave, but I'm not certain. We don't really have a HR person/dept. so I know as much as anyone else how these things are handled. Basically, I've been told it's up to my boss (and her boss is up for reelection this year, so....) I do feel guilty keeping this a secret sometimes and I guess that's what's bothering me most. But given the situation I don't know how else to handle it, I definitely can't afford to lose my insurance before I have him and am sure everything is okay with us both. We *will* have insurance once I no longer have a job, but it won't be as good since it will be whatever individual coverage we find (DHs job doesn't offer any). I guess my main question is, is it wrong to not tell them the whole truth right now? I won't be leaving them high and dry, as I'll be back for about a month, but I do feel guilty (until I hear of something else up here that disgusts me...).

Here is my question: why would you go back to work? Why not just take your 12 weeks of leave that are GUARANTEED to you under FMLA and then call her up the week you are due to come back and let her know that you have decided to stay home?
I used to work as a director of hr and I cant tell you the countless number of people that did this. Honestly, I think I'd be more irritated if someone came back to work and then gave notice. At least while you are out on leave, there are arrangements going on for coverage of your job, which can just continue.

And as far as losing any accrued VACATION time that you may have....its entitled to you upon termination UNLESS its stated somewhere in writing that you arent entitled to it. Sick/absence time usually isnt payable upon termination, though.

Well, one reason I planned to come back is because they don't have anyone to do any of my work or anyone who knows how to do my job. Basically, my boss isn't open to have any temp help while I'm out. I feel better giving my notice and offering to train someone new when I come back. I guess I also thought it would be better on my part to *try* to come back than to just say I wasn't coming back at all when they are counting on me during that time. Heck, my other co-worker (there are only 3 of us) is already planning another weeks vacation (she's off next week) the week I'm back (whatever week that ends up being!). I just feel it would be leaving them high and dry to just call that last week and say I wasn't coming back. Am I wrong? Mainly, I'm worried that my insurance coverage will end sooner if they *know* I don't plan to stay once my leave is up. And over half of my paid time is sick time, so I definitely don't want to lose that either...

I too work for a local government. They must as you know honor the 12 weeks of FMLA if that is what you choose to do & depending upon how your disability works, whatever time you have accrued you are eligible to use after you are taken off of disability to compensate for regular pay. Being in this situation recently with a girl that worked for me, I would take the 8 weeks, not go back & give your notice at the end of the 8 weeks stating you will be using the remaining 2 weeks time (totalling 10 wks) to compensate for extra FMLA time & that you have decided not to return as your priority is now with your child. Don't feel guilty for taking time that is rightfully yours & as long as you have a check coming in (whether it be from diability or accrued time), you are still eligible for insurance & that can't be terminated.