We are looking to buy a new house. The main reason is that we are not in love with our house, our town, or ourneigborhood...though none of these things are bad, they are just not ideal for us right now.

We currently live in southern NH, but we're both from closer to Boston. Our family and most friends are still living closer to Boston. We moved here (about 45-60 minutes for most friends/family) because houses are much more affordable.

Real estate prices have also gone up where we are, but they've continued to be high in the Boston area - and frankly, I don't know how anyone affords it!!

Here's what we want: a nice house (not necessary a ton bigger than we have now but a better layout) in a nice town with good schools and a good sense of community. We've found an area in NH that we really like. Problem is, it's no closer to our friends/family...and perhaps even a bit further.

Now, here's the problem. While we want all that I mentioned, I keep asking myself if it is more important to be closer to my family, who helps with the kids so much and who I know would love to have them closer. We can afford *something* closer to them, but not nearly as nice as what we can get if we stay near here. I could also be a little closer to work, and cut down some on my 40 minute commute each way.

I just go back and forth on this question: is it more important to love our house and our town...or is it better to compromise on that to be closer to our family?? We do see our family a lot, but we'd see them more this way and it would be a lot less driving for all.

What would you do?

I don't think there's a clear-cut answer. And it depends on a lot of things: How much "less nice" would a house be closer to Boston, and how much would that bother you? And how much more would you see your family? And can you afford to buy in a town with good schools?

It's a personal decision - some of us would be happier having a smaller/older house in an area we like less but is closer to family and others of us would be happier with a nicer house in a town we like better but is a bit farther from family. Try the list thing with the pros and cons of each and see which looks better.

Personally, I would go for the nicer house in the area that I liked better, but then I see being closer to my or Mary's families as not a good thing anyway.

Sorry for the totally non-helpful response :)

Dennis

As Dennis said, you have to figure out what is right for you and DH. Personally, I would buy closer to family, which is what we are planning on doing. We will end up in Framingham, near my MIL, so that when they are in school I can have the kids dropped off at her house for after school daycare while I am at work.

Also, if you have a shorter commute you would have more time with the boys.

And, the most important, if you closer to Boston, you would be closer to me and we could actually get together :)

That is a tough decision. When we moved, we went for the smaller, not as spectacular home to be closer to my family, who help us out all the time. But we also found a town that we love with great schools. Do you think that is possible?? Putting the house aside, do you think you can find a great community with good schools in your price range? Do you have a certain kind of house built up in your head? Or are you open to looking at a bunch of things and maybe finding one that would work for you that needs a little elbow grease?

Hi Alyssa-
I agree with everyone... this is such a hard decision. But since you asked for opinions :) If it were me, I would want to live closer to family... but I think community and schools are very important as well... I hope you can get all the things you want in one house!

ps. I agree with Kate move closer to us :)

I like being close to family so I'd sacrifice a little on the house to be closer to home.