I've been getting a lot of weird vibes from my mom over the past 6 months or so. She's never come right out and asked when we're having kids, and part of that is because she knows I've got fertility problems. (To be fair, I don't think she would purposefully put pressure on us even if she didn't know.) However, she often mentions things in passing about, "When your dad and I have grandkids", or "I figured I'd save these for grandkids someday." So, it's hard not to feel a bit of pressure, especially since she and my dad are literally the only people within their group of friends who don't have grandchildren. What's even worse is that my parents are both around 60 years old, while most of the people they know became grandparents at much younger ages.

Then there's the "competition" among our friends. Don't get me wrong; we aren't betting on who will get pg next, or placing wagers on who will have the most kids in the shortest amount of time. :lol: However, both of DH's brothers (one of whom is only 19) are fathers already, and I can literally think of only three people we know who don't have kids (though we are actually the only two within our group of friends who are married! :rolleyes: ) I just feel like time is passing me by while I try so hard to get pg, and it's discouraging to see so many others have success without even trying.

All in all, I think I put pressure on myself to get pg, mainly because I want children so badly and see SO many people around me having children--99% of the time by accident--and it makes me feel like I'll never get a chance. Plus, I want so badly to give my parents grandchildren, since I'm the only one of three siblings who is married and even at that point in life to consider children. (Ironically, I'm also the youngest.)

Does anyone else feel pressure by family and/or friends? Do people say things, or constantly ask you when you're having kids? Do you ever just feel like you're "left behind", simply because everyone else seems to be getting pg so easily?

Any vents and support are welcome; I knew we IF ladies need others to talk to. :bighug:

First of all, :bighug:'s to you. Secondly, I did feel that pressure. We have now been blessed with a child, but in the years of struggle before Riley, I couldn't get through most days without tears being shed.
I felt like everytime I turned around someone I knew was pregnant(most by accident and unmarried) My mom would say things in passing that cut me to the bone. I know that she didn't mean them to be stinging remarks, but when you are dealing with it on a daily basis, even the kindest, most gentle remark can send you reeling.
I am so sorry that you are going through this, It's not easy. :hug99:

Oh yeah! We got married fairly young (21 & 23) after dating for 6 years. I had a year of college to go, then DH decided to go back to school for 2 years. When our 3 year anniversary came, so did the questions about when we were going to have kids. Then, when we moved to our first house and DH got an amazing job a couple of months ago (around our 3.5 year anniversary), it really became open season for the questions. I think everytime somebody emails or calls they ask "when are you having a baby?" or say "so you'll be having a baby in about 9 months huh?" and my favorite "are you trying?" I think that is the rudest, most personal question ever! WHY do people think that is an appropriate question?

Then again, nobody but my best friend, mom and now MIL know I have some fertility issues. I don't want to come out and tell anyone else because I know the even more rude and invasive questions will come.

When our 3 year anniversary came, so did the questions about when we were going to have kids. Then, when we moved to our first house and DH got an amazing job a couple of months ago (around our 3.5 year anniversary), it really became open season for the questions. I think everytime somebody emails or calls they ask "when are you having a baby?" or say "so you'll be having a baby in about 9 months huh?" and my favorite "are you trying?" I think that is the rudest, most personal question ever! WHY do people think that is an appropriate question?

Then again, nobody but my best friend, mom and now MIL know I have some fertility issues. I don't want to come out and tell anyone else because I know the even more rude and invasive questions will come.
I hate those questions! :furious: "So, when are you having kids?" "Don't you want children?" etc, etc. It's so aggravating to hear, because it's almost like people are EXPECTING you to have children according to a set (imaginary) time schedule that we just cannot follow. Sometimes I feel like we're letting people down because we're letting so much time pass before having kids, and apparently it's very unusal to be married for more than a year without having at least one child. :rolleyes: And tryng to deflect the questions by mentioning our IF just gets to be embarrassing and too personal, to say nothing of the fact that I simply don't feel like explaining everything.

Of course, it doesn't help that we are two of only a few of our friends who are not parents by now (though we're the only couple that's married), and that EVERY SINGLE ONE of our friends' children were accidents. I think that because they were all able to have kids without even trying (or really wanting), our friends assume it should be that easy for EVERYone to conceive; and I must say, it certainlyfeels that we are the only ones who can't have a child. :tearhair:

I am not exactly getting pressure, especially since I already have Caiti. However lately, I can't even eat without someone at work asking if I am pg. It's partly my fault because one of the girls there just had a baby and when I was at her baby shower, I made a big deal about rubbing her belly for baby dust. So everyone knows that we are ttc and have been (not that I ever really made it a secret, just they are all aware now) and so if I have Freetos at 7am, I get "weird foods, are you pg?" or if I am sick to my stomach "just like my morning sickness, you must be pg?"

One day, I swear, I am going to dissolve into tears and hysterics just to shut them up:lol: