Back in October Abby's B-Day party was scheduled for a Sat. (I had reserved the park and paid for it) all the sudden a "friend" (and I use the term loosely) had moved her wedding to that date. This is a whole other story…. What a train wreck! Anyhow…


So I decided to move Abby's party to Sun to accommodate everyone. :rolleyes: Quite a few of my close friends (around 5) whose children play with Abby were also going to be at the wedding and asked if I could move the party to Sun. Let's call this friend "L".... which by the way, L has been one of my closest friends since high school and our kids have played together from birth. We have been at every party and event for each other and the kids for years. Oh and it cost me and extra $20 to move it.
So we went to the wedding on Sat left shortly after the ceremony so we could go home and get the food ready for the b-day party. We skipped the reception, but this was a very small very casual affair.

At the wedding L and other friends were talking to Abby about her party the next day and asking her what kind of presents she was hoping for.
So the party day comes….. and none of them show up!!!! :wtf::fado: And they don’t call or anything! Abby is asking me where is L & E (her son) and I felt horrible for her. She was so upset that all of these people didn’t come, especially L & E. :(

So she never called me to say sorry something came up, I forgot about it, F-off,… nothing.

Now fast forward. I got an e-mail on MySpace wanting us to come to E’s b-day party!!! :bs: After I haven’t heard from this person in 3 months! Luckily I saw the message after the party already happened because I’m never on there so I just sent her a message back saying that.

Now my husband and hers are friends and see each other. My husband has wanted to go over there and hang out and wants me to go and I don’t want to. He thinks we should just let it go and move on. But I just can’t. I’m still pissed and I think it would be weird to just go over and pretend nothing happened. Am I over reacting? What would you do? :dunno:

Also…. This happened waayyyy back in October.

I don't think you are overreacting. I would be pissed as well. You moved Abby's party especially for her...the least she could have done was call and say she wasn't going to make it. I think it is very rude.

I'm mostly upset because she made my daughter so upset. KWIM. If you weren't comming then you shouldn't have told her the day before that you would be there.

I just still don't want to hang out with them right now.

No reason was ever given for them missing it? I think at some point you are going to have to confront her about it so that you can forgive her and move on. This will eat away at you until that point.

I am so sorry that Abby was so hurt by it. There is nothing worse than feeling those emotions through our children.:(

~ Melissa

So they said they would be at the party, knew when it was going to be & just didn't show? I'd be really upset & feel they would owe a really good explanation about what happened. Like you, I'd mostly be upset about my child being so disappointed but I'd be upset about my long-term friend just blowing me off like that.

No reason was ever given for them missing it? I think at some point you are going to have to confront her about it so that you can forgive her and move on. This will eat away at you until that point.

I am so sorry that Abby was so hurt by it. There is nothing worse than feeling those emotions through our children.:(

~ Melissa

I agree. I would probably call and say, "I want to move on, but why didn't you go to my child's party?"

I'd be totally pissed. I agree with Melissa - I'd confront her about it and get it out in the open.

This happened to me two weeks ago with my very good friend. She and her daughter just didn't show up at Alexis' birthday party, no call, nothing. But, unlike in your situation, she called a day or two later with a very good excuse (her sil was rushed to the hospital for an ectopic pregnancy). Anyway, I'm sorry your friend didn't at least make an effort to explain her absence. :shuffle:

I would confront her for sure.

You can do what you want to me...but DON'T mess with my kids:angry2:

I agree - she's not going to disappear from your life and you're going to have to confront this for your own sanity. What I would do is go over there with Nate and pull her aside and just get it all out. Tell her how disappointed Abby was that one of her best friends wasn't at her party.....esp. after talking to her about it just the day before. She's just a kid and didn't understand and was horribly upset.
And then tell her how disappointed you were that one of your oldest friends couldn't be bothered to give you a call and let you know what's going on. Understandably, she just got married the day before.....BUT you moved your party to accomodate HER wedding, and it was understood that would make it possible for her to attend Abby's party. And she just blew you off without a sneeze. :(

Be nice.....approach it with the attitude that this did happen almost 6 months ago....and just get stuff off your chest. You're going to run into her later, via DH or Abby, and for your own peace, I think you just need to do it. :) She needs to understand how you feel and how her actions impacted your family's life.

You can do what you want to me...but DON'T mess with my kids:angry2:

You said it Deb, This is exactly how I feel. :box:

UGH.. consencious is to confront her.... I know it makes waayyyyy more sense than me staying mad forever. I suppose I can't just avoid her forever huh!

But I just have a hard time with this. Probably because I wonder if she even realizes what she did. I also have a hard time confronting someone if my feelinging were truely hurt... anything else I would be confrontational right away. It took me almost 3 years to tell my mom how much she upset me about a situation at my baby shower and I saw her all the time!

I had resolved to not be mad to a point that I dwell on this but instead I just felt that from that point on I know where I stand with her. KWIM

I think you are all right... I just needed to hear it I suppose. (from someone other than Nate!) So next time I will go visit them with Nate & I will let her know. Heck I might even invite them over sometime (they have never seen our new house) and deal with it then.

Shannon.... it wasn't her wedding :nono:, she was just attending and was close friends with the bride. I wouldn't at all expect her to be at a b-day party after her own wedding. You only get one of thise (most times!) and there will be plenty of parties.

Thanks!!!!

So, you never got a reason or excuse from her? I'm just wondering what the cause of her missing it was.

~ Melissa