If you don't already know, our fourth round of clomid didn't work. (It was actually about the 20th round total that we have tried over the past 5 years to have #2.) My doctor (who is beyond wonderful) thinks that it's time for us to move on to injectibles and daily monitoring with IUI. We thought at first that there was no possible way we could afford to go this route and would just start saving for adoption. My insurance doesn't cover anything and the injectible medicine is expensive as well as the daily monitoring and bloodwork. We were thinking that save up andstart the adoption process in about a year and a half. I'm scared about all of this because Shane wants to stay domestic and the idea of a birth mother changing her mind during the waiting period is awful to me (The consent for the adoption is 3 days in TN, but they have the right to revoke for up to 10 days) . I also can't get the idea of being pregnant again out of my mind. If we saved up over the next bit for a couple rounds of injectibles/IUI and they didn't work, would I think that we wasted a ton of money and regret not going straight to adoption? On the other hand, if we don't give the injectibles/IUI a shot, will I regret that forever? I thought that I would move on and start thinking about adoption and be engrossed in it and instead I find myself reading websites about injectibles and protocols for injectible cycles, etc. I think that my heart is leading me one way and my mind thinks I need to go the other. How do we decide????

Sweetie I wish I had an answer for you. I am in the same boat except we aren't considering adoption. Part of me wants to save $$ and try for the IUI/with injectibles but at the same time I don't want to waste all that time and money and it not work. I have been let down to many times in the past 5 years when it comes to TTC #2. There is no easy answer. I truly believe this is one where you have to follow your heart and tell your mind to be quiet. :hug99: I hope you are able to come to a decision that you can live with.

:hug99: I think you need to go with your heart on this one. If it was me, I think I would probably give the IUI a go so that I knew I did all that I could, there will always be a baby out there in need of adoption. That of course is me, I don't have to live with the actual decision. I think deep down in your heart though you know what is the right thing to do and no matter what choice you make there will be a baby at the end of it whether it came from your womb or someone elses, you are going to love them just the same :hug99: I am so sorry that this is happening and you have to go through such heartache. I wish you all the best no matter what route you go down!

I agree with the others, no one can answer for you, only imagine what we would do in your shoes..I would probably give the IUI a shot as well....just to know I tried..I know what you mean about wanting to be pregnant so that would be mean alot to me as well.

It's a tough decision and I'm sorry you've reached this point.
I've done multiple IUIs with injections over the years. Some cycles we paid out of pocket and others were covered (depended on the insurance coverage at the time). We went into debt to conceive our 1st two children and it was worth every penny. But of course it's easy to say that in retrospect because we (finally) had success.
My husband felt very strongly about having a biological child so he would never have considered adoption without exhausting all other routes.
Good luck!

Amanda

How does Shane feel?

I agree with the others that if it were me, I'd need peace in my heart that we'd tried all possible options before deciding on adoption. That's just me though. :hug99:

I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. :sad:

Me? I'd probably follow my heart.

Follow the path that you will have the fewest regrets with, despite the outcome.

I'm really sorry you have to make this decision. :hug99:

You have to make the choice for yourself but if it were me & I were feeling the longing, I would take the chance on the IUI/injectable cycle. We spent so much money toward IVF but I rarely even think about the 10s of thousands that we spent & I seriously doubt that Erik does either.

I think you've gotten some great advice here, so I won't repeat it all. I agree though. I'm so so sorry that you're having to even deal with this. I know if it were me, I'd exhaust all resources trying to get pg before adopting. Good luck!!!

I've been in your shoes not that long ago (this year). :hug99:

Our issues aren't non-o'ing.....it's getting the baby to stay put! So....we've been asking the same questions for different reasons. Do we continue TTC our own baby, even though I'm in my 40's (DH is in his 50's!).....or do we adopt before we're considered "too old"? Our issue was my dwindling egg supply and age. :(

Paul was fine with whatever path I chose...which didn't help in a way because at the time we had the last conversation, I just wanted someone else to take the reins. What finally won was my insane desire to have my own baby and be pg again. If we adopted, I'd always wonder "what if....." and my yearning to adopt just wasn't there (although we don't have a problem with adoption).
I figured we'd just keep going until I ran out of eggs and then see how we felt about adoption. :) Even if this little one now goes away with all the others, we'll still keep trying until my body gives out. The yearning is just too strong and I don't want to have any regrets.

I really feel for you, Kim. :hug99: It's such a tough and intently personal decision; I'm with the others - go with your gut and choose the path of least regret. :hug99:

Thanks ladies! I truly don't know what I would do without such awesome women to come vent to, cry to, and just be sad with about this whole situation. I think Shannon summed it up pretty well for me here:
The yearning is just too strong and I don't want to have any regrets.
This is exactly why I am not already looking into adoption agencies. The yearning to carry life again, to nurse again... all those things are constantly in my heart. Shane is pretty open to whatever I want since I'm the one that goes trhough all the procedures, medicine, etc. The only thing he's not really open to is international adoption and we truly haven't even discussed it at length so I don't know all the reasons that he prefers domestic. I think I know what I want, but it's still going to be a long road to get there. Thanks for all your advice and support. I truly, truly appreciate you listening and caring.

:hug99: We are here for you no matter what you decide, good luck.