How much do we help?

[Joan]

Sean got a job at Carl's Jr. <yeah!> He needs a certain type of shoe and black pants. I see no problem buying these for him, though it will likely cost more than $100. Pete doesn't feel the same. Am I coddling him? I hate to have him in the hole before he starts but also know that is what happens when you get a job. What do you think? Pay half/half?

[Kristen]

If it was me, I would just buy them. My parents bought my clothing for my first job so I would do the same for my DD.

[Shel]

I had to agree to pay half of my unforms, but they let me spread the money out over a few months so it wasn't like working for nothing :)

[Bev]

I'd buy them but if Pete is dead set against it, see if he'd go for the 50/50 deal. That seems pretty reasonable to me. :)

Congratulations to Sean on his job! :)

[Eva]

I'd buy them but if Pete is dead set against it, see if he'd go for the 50/50 deal. That seems pretty reasonable to me. :)

Congratulations to Sean on his job! :)


This was my thought as well. :)

[Dennis]

Another ditto to Bev.

[Cami]

I don't see that as coddling, I see that as encouraging. He found the job, the pants and shoes are a requirement, and I don't see anything wrong with helping him get started. It kind of stinks though that Carls Jr requires such an expensive uniform. Is it possible that any part of that might get reimbursed?

[Melissa]

I don't see that as coddling, I see that as encouraging. He found the job, the pants and shoes are a requirement, and I don't see anything wrong with helping him get started. It kind of stinks though that Carls Jr requires such an expensive uniform. Is it possible that any part of that might get reimbursed?
I agree. I think if you want him to pay you back you can spread it out, maybe have him pay you $10 each week for 10 weeks?

[MamaGoofy]

I say go ahead and get them for him and have him pay you back X amount a week.

[Clare]

I would buy him the uniform but not expect him to pay it back. He's only 15 right? If he was over 18 I'd go with the "make him pay it back" attitude, but I think at 15 he's still a kid and your responsibility. And no, I don't think it's coddling, I call it parenting :)

[MrsPeacefrog]

Put me down as another one who would buy it for him and not expect him to pay it back. Even if Pete wanted him to I would get him to pay it back but save the money and somehow give it back to him. It's his first job, he had no money to start with to help set him up so how is he supposed to do it? I agree with Clare, if he was 18 and an adult I would feel differently, but at 15 it's your responsibility to take care of their needs and this is a need that he has. :aok:

Congrats on him getting his first job by the way, how very exciting! :rahrah:

[LISA]

I'll just do a big fat ditto to everyone else, your not coddling him I would do( and have) the same :aok:

Congrats on the job Sean! :woo:

[Joan]

Thank you everyone for validating my thinking! I do worry sometimes that he is a bit spoiled, but he is such a great kid.

Being a teenager is expensive. (He turned 16 in Feb) His $20/month allowance isn't suffiecient anymore. We want him to have a social life so have been giving him money to go to the movies, etc. He has also been recycling and babysitting to earn money. Finally, I said, he needed to get a job. He got the job on his own.

Cami, I'm not really sure how much the pants and shoes are going to cost but I can't imagine the shoes being less than $50 and pants less than $25.

You have given me great arguments and I am sure I can convince Pete that we aren't coddling him.

[Dennis]

His $20/month allowance isn't suffiecient anymore.

This is probably a topic for another thread, but Joe gets more than $20 a month and he's 6. (We're doing weekly allowances of $1 per year of age.) Are we giving him too much?

[Karri]

Joan - I agree with Clare. Good luck!!

[Alyssa]

This is probably a topic for another thread, but Joe gets more than $20 a month and he's 6. (We're doing weekly allowances of $1 per year of age.) Are we giving him too much?What do you expect him to use this money for? What will you not do for him since he gets this money?

[MrsPeacefrog]

I started a seperate topic on it. http://www.onceuponalife.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1170129#post1170129

[MrsPeacefrog]

Joan: I think I would use the argument with Pete that the fact you have gotten him to get a job so he can finance his own activities is the complete opposite of coddling and in the end this is going to save you money so helping him get started is the least you can do. Good luck!

[TtownAnne]

This is probably a topic for another thread, but Joe gets more than $20 a month and he's 6. (We're doing weekly allowances of $1 per year of age.) Are we giving him too much?

I think so just based on my own experience - we do half that much and I wonder if it's too much sometimes. What are you expecting him to pay for with it? I think at 6 there isn't much they should have to spend their money on other than a treat at the grocery store or something at the store that strikes their interest (Caroline likes to buy headbands at Claires :heee: ). At Sean's age I only got $5 a week I think, and it was strictly for my amusement - I didn't have to pay for school lunches or anything like that.

[Cami]

Being a teenager is expensive. (He turned 16 in Feb) His $20/month allowance isn't suffiecient anymore. We want him to have a social life so have been giving him money to go to the movies, etc. He has also been recycling and babysitting to earn money. Finally, I said, he needed to get a job. He got the job on his own.

And that's what my parents did with my brother and me. They gave us some amount of money for fun (not a set amount, but they'd fund our activities to a point) and then they said that if we wanted more money, we'd need to get jobs. It sounds like he's a great kid that he has gone out and done things before to make money and now he got this job on his own. That first paycheck will mean so much to him and it'd kind of stink to have to use it all to pay for his uniform! :)

[MrsPeacefrog]

I got $20 a week at the age of 15 from my parents and that was for my own amusement too and that didn't even cut it I had to go get a job so I could afford to be properly social!

[bunybomb]

I agree with the others. Buy the clothes for Sean and don't expect him to pay you back. It's a hand up to start into the adult world. Good for him for taking the initiative to get a job.

[gulp!]

I agree with the others. Buy the clothes for Sean and don't expect him to pay you back. It's a hand up to start into the adult world. Good for him for taking the initiative to get a job.

Another ditto. Congrats to him!

[magoo]

I remember my parents buying me a new outfit when I started my first real summer job. I thought of it as a gift to let me know that they were proud of me. So, I'd buy him the pants and shoes as a "Hey, we're really proud of you" gift. :)