why do I do this?

[Alyssa]

I just spent the last hour on websites about sick kids. Why, why, why? It started innocently...I was reading a blog that I'd never read before (link from a blog I read reguarly), this person mentioned a website tracking the progress of a little kid who had a freaking TV fall on him and now he's got some awful brain injury...and of course I read that site...which somehow leads to me to the one about a 6 year old who just died of leukemia after a 4 year battle (I couldn't stomach that one...way too detailed on the pain, the funeral, etc.), to another about a baby who suddenly got sick and...anyway, it doesn't matter. It was all sad, sad, sad. I know I'm really freaking lucky with my kids, and knock on wood they stay this way. Why the hell do I torture myself? Oh, and this was after my neighbor was here tonight...whose 3 mo old niece died last week from a bad heart. :sigh: Do you ever do this to yourself or am I the only one who is this nuts?

[Alyson]

Alyssa, you're not the only one! I'm constantly reading things like this and bawling my eyes out while DH is rolling his eyes at me because 'you read it! You know you shouldn't have!'... It does make you feel lucky though ha?

[MrsPeacefrog]

Yeah, I do it to myself too, there is a show on at the moment called "Sick Kids" literally following the cases of children who need transplants and have cancer or are in major accidents, it's seriously depressing and I always walk away from it feeling sick. I have actually stopped watching it now cause I just can't stomach it anymore.

The other week there was an attempted kidnapping in our area and I was trying to find a more detailed story on it and while searching the newspaper websites I find all these horrific stories about a poor family who accidently ran over their 18 month old, another one of a man in one of the arab countries who decapitated a baby infront of the mother in a shopping mall, all these horrific horrible things that seriously distrubed me so much I was in tears, Tony was so angry at me for even reading it in the first place.

I do have to say though, a lot of the time when threads in the news section about horrible tragedies like parents killing their children etc, I most of the time don't open them because I know I won't be able to handle it.

[Hannabanana]

Last week we had an annual radio telethon in support of our local Sick Kids Hospital ... it was three days of heart-wrenching stories told by parents about their children being sick & surviving and being sick & dying ... I couldn't change the channel any time I was in the car (I drive a lot for work) because I felt that it would be unfair to those parents because they can't walk away from the problems they face and the least I could do was be respectful and listen. I finally called on the last day to make a pledge for monthly donations ...

[stass]

I started reading a blog about a mom who had preemie twins about a year ago. One of them died and it is so heart wrenching but I have kept reading. Not sure why we do it.

[Lynn]

Oh yeah...the St. Jude's Children's Hospital commercial/informercial does it to me every time. And yet I don't even change the channel. :cry:

[magoo]

I was reading a photographer's blog, and he's a volunteer with an organization where professional photographers do sessions for families with babies who are terminally ill or severely premature. I won't give the name, becuase I don't want you all spending the next hour there. :awink: It is a beautiful thing that they are doing, and the photographs are so beautiful.

[Karin]

Wow, Sarah, that's a great thing!! I'm sure those pictures are very treasured.

[AmyP]

There's a blog I read. It's for a local kid who has just had a cancer relapse. She does a lot of publicity for cancer research and for the children's center at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Her mom has a really interesting blog, very open and honest. It breaks my heart to read sometimes, but I am interested to know how she's doing. So far the prognosis is good, so it's not so hard to read right now. I started reading it when I saw the link on a local radio personality's My Space page.

She (the little girl) also does publicity for the "Cool Kids Campaign" which helps families of kids with cancer. It doesn't do anything for research, but the money goes right to the families. It helps with medical bills, and it makes sure the kids have stuff to do while they're in the hospital, buys them meals so they don't have to eat hospital food, etc. Kimmie Meissner (figure skater from the Baltimore area who won the World Championship in 2006 and the National Championship in 2007) is a big spokesperson for it.

[Melissa]

Oh yeah...the St. Jude's Children's Hospital commercial/informercial does it to me every time. And yet I don't even change the channel. :cry:
:nod: As soon as I see it I turn the channel immediately. The half hour infomercials will send me right back to when my brother had leukemia.

[Shanna]

I had a friend whose son had leukemia and I started reading his site, which led me to another one, www.prayforchase.com .... over the past several years, I've come to know these families and pray for their children. It makes me so much more aware of how blessed I am that my children are healthy. It also helps me to realize how precious life is and that I should never take my kids for granted. It is very sad, but it is also so uplifting to see how these families cope and survive after the loss of a child.

[WendyK]

I do it too. It's so heartbreaking. It really makes you realize how lucky you are how vulnerable life is. A friend of ours son had a rare form of cancer a couple years back and he's fully recovered but their website was linked to other children who were no so lucky.

[KristenF]

Not recently Alyssa, but I have tortured myself like that in the past. When I was pg with Mason, Frank had Zack outside and I watched like an hour of St Jude I just sat there and bawled and bawled and bawled... it was SO stupid!!! Like I don't KNOW I'm going to bawl and be scarred for life??? (And yes, I do give to St Jude several times each year-I get the soliciation and I throw away everything but the device and the envelope, I NEVER read the letter, I just can't handle it.)

When I was preparing to hash out the agreements in the surrogacy contracts, I was trying to learn about birth defects, and man alive... I basically sat at my desk and read stories about the choices families had to make when they found out thier babies were going to be severely deformed and/or catastrophicly ill. Omg, it sucked-I cried for days and days. I really needed to do that for a reason, so it wasn't quite the unnecessary self-torture of me watching St Jude, but I can relate to the "one heartbreaking story leading to the next heartbreaking story" and you just can't not click on the link.

:hug99: While I do believe we all learn something from hearing other people's stories, the good and the sad ones, I also think there is a trap to be avoided of drowning in the misery of the sad stories that get into our hearts. I believe every experience, good and bad, has true meaning and purpose, and I'm pretty sure that for the suffering of other children and their families, the meaning in their experience is NOT to torture the rest of us with sadness. I think if you have to just shut it off so that you can function, that it's okay-it's not cold or uncaring-the parts that are supposed to stay in your heart, will.

Now, take a deep breath and go watch The History of Dance on youtube.

[Michele]

I started reading a blog about a mom who had preemie twins about a year ago. One of them died and it is so heart wrenching but I have kept reading. Not sure why we do it.

I read this one too (I think you posted the link here, no?). Anyway I totally agree it is so heart wrenching but I can't stop reading it. She's a really excellent writer, and sometimes when I'm really annoyed with my kids, I read her posts to gain some perspective.

[Bev]

I try not to, it's too upsetting. I prefer not to wallow in misery, but to remain blissfully ignorant of such things.

A guy at my work just returned from what I thought was his parental leave but as it turns out before they even had the new baby his older son (2 months older than Graham) got a ruptured appendix and the hospital didn't know what it was and he practically died until they sent him to another hospital 2 hours away and they finally figured out what it was and saved him.

I keep thinking how lucky I am.

[Alyssa]

On a related note...we work with a creative agency and had been told one of the guys was out b/c his wife was terminally ill. She died this week and the funeral is today. So I hit Google...and found the most touching - and sad - article from last week before she died: http://www.theoaklandpress.com/stories/032008/loc_20080320355.shtml Makes it worse for me that she's my age and has a Colin. :sigh:

[Hannabanana]

Ugh! That is so sad Alyssa!!
I'm really finding it hard right now to hear about someone who died when around the same age as me or dh ... earlier this week a radio personality on the station I listen to died of lung cancer - he was only 43 - dh's age.
My mother died when she was 40 so that's a very stressful age for me to think about.

[AmyP]

I have a MySpace friend who is CONSTANTLY posting bulletins about sick, dying, or abused children. She is always posting information about kids with shaken baby syndrome. I have long since stopped reading her bulletins. I'd be tempted to delete her, but she is somebody I know in real life, even though I don't see her anymore. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and it's not my place to tell her what to post on MySpace.

And just last night I read Nathan's mother's blog. Gut-wrenching! Nathan's parents aren't together and haven't been for a while, so I sent DH an e-mail reminding him to call Nathan's dad Chris and check up on him.

[Alyson]

ugh, Alyssa that article is soo sad (and makes me think so much of my uncle:(). How sad for him and his kids!!

[kika]

I couldn't change the channel any time I was in the car (I drive a lot for work) because I felt that it would be unfair to those parents because they can't walk away from the problems they face and the least I could do was be respectful and listen. I finally called on the last day to make a pledge for monthly donations ...

Very true.

I have a hard time reading stories about pediatric cancer patients that don't have happy outcomes. It hits too close to home. I especially hate the stories of children who do well initially, and a couple of years later relapse and pass away.

Very, very sad.

The hardest part is that for most rare cancer patients, it is never over. Because of all the radiation (and because the tumors are often inoperable), the chance of relapse is HIGH. You feel like you are always looking over your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. :(

I do realize I am very lucky, and I try to count my blessings every day. Some cancer patients don't respond to treatment at all; we are blessed. I thank God everyday for today, and all the hugs, kisses, cuddles, laughs, and long talks that we share.

Before Kareem got sick, I thought cancer was something that happened to other people's children, kwim? I never dreamed. And he was almost 12 when he was diagnosed...by 12 you assume you can stop worrying...

So to answer the original question, the truth is I have a very difficult time reading/watching/hearing about other sick children now. I can usually tolerate it as long as it is not cancer.