Overwhelmed?

[Jeni]

anybody else overwhelmed? Maybe it's because I'm a single mom, well I have a boyfriend who helps a lot, but we both know that he's not his bio-father. I just feel like I don't get a break. Even when I get someone to watch him, I don't have time for ME. I work 7:30-4:30, I pick Jayden up, go home and clean or make dinner, get him ready for bed after he wants me to just hold him, or read to him, or play with him.......Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being Jayden's mommy, but I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. I have fun with him, but I don't feel like we do enough together. It just repeats day after day. Housework never ends, and being the responsible one, it has to be me since his dad(sperm donor) is a piece of S%$#. I don't know that I'm looking for advice, just venting.

[Dennis]

Jeni,

I can only imagine how overwhelming it is being a single parent. You're doing an awesome job.

Dennis

[bunkie68]

Jeni, :hug1: to you, sweetie. I don't know if it's much help, but I feel the same way, and my husband is still in the house. He's been much better since he's talked about moving out, but so many times I feel like 95% of the child care falls to me. He's a good father, and I know he loves Julian, but he'd rather do the fun stuff most times (and sometimes he'd rather do his own thing than the fun stuff, even :rolleyes: ), and all of the "work" stuff tends to fall to me. I do dinner most nights, I do bath and bed pretty much every night, more often than not I'm the one who gets up if Julian wakes up at night. There have been times I've asked my husband to watch Julian while I do a particular thing, and he'll just sit in the living room and let Julian wander off, usually right into the middle of whatever I'm trying to do. I'm like, if I'd wanted Julian to come help me, I wouldn't have asked you to watch him, now would I? :colfish: I know how frustrating it is to feel like you're on duty 24/7, with no one to really give you a break. I don't have any good advice, since I obviously can't find time for myself, either. I hope it helps knowing you aren't alone, and you can e-mail me or PM me anytime you need a shoulder! :hug99:

And maybe this might help a little. In our childbirth class when I was pregnant with Julian, the instructor said we shouldn't worry about whether we were doing everything "right" - sure, we'd never been parents before, but our baby had never had parents before, so he wouldn't know if we were doing things "right" or "wrong"! :lol: You may feel like you're shortchanging some things, or like you aren't doing enough in one area or another. But Jayden knows you love him, and you make sure his needs are met, and that's what counts. :bighug:

[Jeni]

Thank you Dennis and Lisa.

Lisa, I did everything when I was with the sperm donor. He NEVER got up with Jayden, and I think he maybe gave him one bath. :rolleyes: Maybe it's that I've never got a break and it's catching up. I don't know. My family takes him sometimes, or Mike will watch him, but then I feel like I need to get other things done, ya know? Maybe I try to do too much.

[Faye]

I think it sounds like you are doing an awesome job Jeni. :) I did the same thing pretty much with my son from birth to about age 4...then I married his dad when he was 5. The first two years of his life I was totally alone raising him though. I always worried if I was spending enough QT with him and I was. We are super close now!

[mama2jackson]

I just wanted to say you are doing an AWESOME job Jeni!!!!! It's hard enough when you have 2 parents in the house, but I can't imagine doing it alone. You are Jayden's hero!!!!

[Mary]

Jeni, you are doing an awesome job! I think that every parent sometimes would just like a break and I'm sure it is doubly hard being a single parent. Jayden will remember how much you love him and cuddle him and spend time with him, not where you took him or what you did.

Mary

[abc]

You sound like a great mother, doing all that you can. As your son gets older, it will be easier for you to spend more time with him, he'll be able to do more on his own too. Don't feel bad, you're doing awesome!

allie

[Jeni]

Thank you everyone, I've been spending more time with Jayden, playing, reading, teaching him things. I realized that if the dishes don't get done, or laundry sits another day OH WELL! The way he looks at me with his big eyes, waiting to learn is so precious:heart:

[Moomur]

Thank you everyone, I've been spending more time with Jayden, playing, reading, teaching him things. I realized that if the dishes don't get done, or laundry sits another day OH WELL! The way he looks at me with his big eyes, waiting to learn is so precious:heart:
Good for you. I was going to recommend letting the housework go :lol:. That was always last on my list when Jessi was smaller.

I can totally relate to your first post, I was a single parent and it was very overwhelming at times. Working full-time and looking after a child is definately emotionally and physically draining. I couldn't even take a walk by myself to get a break.

[MaryNH]

Jeni-I'm playing single mom while dh is away. I feel for you....I'll pray that God watches out for you and your family...

[Katrina]

Just letting you know I am thinking of you too. I am not a single mother, as my husband (whom I love dearly) does live here with us, but his work hours are so crazy, he is never here. He leaves before Zack wakes up in the morning and doesn't get home until well after Zack (and usually myself) are already in bed. He also works nearly all day on Saturdays so that leaves us Sundays as a family, and since i am home with Zack all week, as everyone knows, the housework piles up so we end up spending a lot of Sunday just trying to get caught up on laundry, dishes, etc that I couldn't get done during the week.
Like you, I let the housework go in favor of happy time with my boy. Granted, I stay home with him all day so I do get more time than you do, but it is still tough, trying to do it without any other help.

I feel for you and hope things get better. It sounds like they already are!

[bunkie68]

Jeni, I forgot I'd posted here - whoops! :lol: Just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that I can relate to the housework. My house looks like a tornado hit it, and I'm so far behind on laundry, I'll never catch up! Like you, I think I try to do too much. It's real hard for me to just let things go and focus on Julian sometimes. I just keep telling myself, he'll only be this small once, before I know it he'll be grown and gone. So I'm trying to really concentrate on him and only worry about doing what I *have* to do (like washing underwear when I'm down to my last pair! :lol: ). Hang in there, sweetie, we'll be OK and our kids will grow up great. :bighug: