Sharing with "strangers"

[Dennis]

We all encourage our children to share, but do you make them share with kids they don't know?

We were at the playground on Saturday and Joe brought his shovel and bucket to play in the sandbox. There was a boy who asked Joe if he could play with them, and Joe refused. My feeling is that they are Joe's toys and if he doesn't want to share them with someone he doesn't know, he doesn't have to. It's not like when you have kids over at your house and it's implied that you will share toys, or at daycare where they have community toys that everyone can use. So I asked Joe if he wanted to let the boy play with his toys and Joe said no, so I left it at that. (Although Joe then dumped a shovelful of sand on the boy so I made him let the boy use his toys to make up for it, but that was a separate issue.)

Also, what do you do when your children leave their toys and go off and do something else, then when they come back, someone else is playing with the toys and your child wants them back? Fortunately I haven't had to deal with this yet and I'm not sure what I'll do.

Dennis

[Lette]

Oh Boy... I don't know what to say, but I'm sure this is going to be a big issue for us at the shore this summer. :rolleyes:

Last year I always let other kids come up and play with Lexie's toys, but she didn't really care at that point. I guess I can see both sides of it here. I would say she doesn't have to share with strangers, but then would that make her think she wouldn't have to share with friends and family???

Sorry I'm no help. I'm curious what others have to say! :)

[Dennis]

I guess I can see both sides of it here. I would say she doesn't have to share with strangers, but then would that make her think she wouldn't have to share with friends and family???

I think they're old enough to understand the difference. My thinking is if we make him share his toys with everyone who asks, then he's never going to get to play with them, and that's not fair to him.

Dennis

[Faye]

I have never and would never "make" my child share her toys as I think she is too young to comprehend why I would do that and they are her toys. I think that you are right in your thinking. I will encourage my child not to be selfish and to share (my toddler) but I would never force either one of my children to share something that is their's, especially my son since he is 8 years old and can make that decision on his own and generally by that age they have learned how to share. So I completely agree with you. My daughter is only gotten on to if she is being selfish with someone else's toys and not giving them back or if they are toys that are there for all the children around her to share, but not with her own. My son is a completely giving person and loves to share with people and gives things away to other people on occasion he is so nice, so I can only hope I do the same thing (whatever I did) to raise my toddler to be that way.

[Jayne]

If at a community sand box, or out in a community place and Alyssa has her own toys, NO..I will not MAKE her share them. I would however do exactly what you did, Dennis. I would ask Alyssa if she would like to share her toys with the child and if she said no I would say ok, Tell the other child, "I am sorry but Alyssa is playing with her toys right now" and leave it at that.

HOWEVER..your other question
If Alyssa gets up and leaves her toys, I make her go back and get them. It is to easy for someone to steel these toys and heck, You paid good money for them. I try to make my children responsible for their own things. So if you go to the playground or something (I take my stroller) and Alyssa is doen with a toy I make her bring it back to me or put it in her stroller and then she may move on to do another thing.

Lette, at the beach we used to share toys like you said and we always ended up loosing them so last year we always kept them to ourselves and for the most part that wasn't a problem
Jayne

[Connie1222]

HOWEVER..your other question
If Alyssa gets up and leaves her toys, I make her go back and get them. It is to easy for someone to steel these toys and heck, You paid good money for them. I try to make my children responsible for their own things. So if you go to the playground or something (I take my stroller) and Alyssa is doen with a toy I make her bring it back to me or put it in her stroller and then she may move on to do another thing.

Jayne
I do the same thing here. I also don't force Jack to share but I always encourage him to do so.