So. Last night, Paul and I....revisited our passion :giggle: for the first time since September. :faint:

As angry and convicted as I was a month ago that Alex is IT for us and I am SO done being pg forever....or at least for a long time, I found myself calculating what CD I might be on and when that would make the due date if I got pg from last night's activities. I am a freaking nutjob!!! :raincloud

Why on earth can't I just be done and move on with my life??? Why can't I just throw all the baby clothes/toys/paraphenalia into bags and boxes and just haul it off to the consignment store? Why do I keep having the thought "just in case" running through my head?
Time keeps ticking away and Alex gets older and I'm getting older and it's not going to get any easier or better later on. I need to quit looking at all the pg bellies around me with envy and thinking "someday......". I need to show some more appreciation for the wonderful child I have now and quit thinking that I need more. I don't. Why can't I just be happy with what I have now?

I'm just venting....whining. :heee: I don't expect any resolutions/explanations from all this......just needed to get it off my chest.

Shannon, I don't have any sage advice, I just wanted you to know that I understand how you feel and I'm sorry!!

:hug99: I'm sorry, Shannon.

I can completely understand. :hug99: I am still holding onto my baby stuff in the hopes that it might work out. It's so hard because in your heart you want another, you are not complete.

I am a freaking nutjob!!! :raincloud



You are not a nutjob. You are someone who has wanted something for so long, and haven't been able to achieve it. You are grieving and still hoping. There's nothing wrong with having still having hope, no matter how bad things get. :hug99:

Ditto to what Shel said. :hug99:

Ditto to what Shel said. :hug99:

again..

What everyone else said... :hug99:

On the upside... haul all that baby stuff away!!!! That way, WHEN it DOES happen... YOU GET ALL NEW STUFF!!!!!!!! :biggrin:

Shannon, I think your feelings are all completely normal and expected. You're grieving and there is no timetable for that. :hug99:

Shannon :hug99:.

Vent all you need. You are not a nutjob. You are human, and what you are feeling is normal.

I say follow your heart. Choose the journey that, despite the final outcome, you have the fewest regrets with in the end.

Sorry Shannon! I'd say trust your heart. If one month you feel this is the end of the road and next month change your mind - so what?

Just follow your heart....

Jo! :lol: The practical Scandinavian blood in me won't let me do that so easily. :lol:

Thanks guys. :grouphugg I knew I could count on you all for support and love. I guess I'm still confused and upset and hopeful. I'm just such a big pot of emotional turmoil right now and I'm yearning for peace and closure. I know I won't have that until I'm either pg with a viable fetus or I find peace with my body's shortcomings.

I just never in my wildest dreams imagined that I'd be where I am right now.....it's a little surreal.

:hug99: more coming your way.

:secret: You're normal! Shocker, I know. :lol:

Shel and Haydee summed it up perfectly. Plenty of :hug99:

I'm sorry, Shannon. :hug99:

Shannon don't worry about being crazy...we all get a little ntty now & again (some of us more than others I'll admit :P Vent all you like! :hug99:

I'm sorry Shannon.

Amanda

I could have typed both of your posts. I know EXACTLY how you feel and it sucks... majorly. I just last weekend got rid of the baby stuff. I have two great friends who are pregnant and I gave most of it to them and sent the rest to Goodwill. Crazy thing is that while I was giving the stuff away, my crazy mind was thinking, "okay now I'll get pregnant because there isn't any baby stuff in the house". Nuts.. certifiably nuts. I know that it will happen when/if it is ever supposed to, but that doesn't help when you are feeling at your lowest. I wish that we could have coffee and talk... it would be a long one! :bighug:

I am sorry, Shannon :hug99: (and Kim, too). I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of feelings you're trying to tackle :( There's no rules governing how you're supposed to feel in your situation. :hug99: