WWYD? - biting

[Michele]

Today, I watched the little girl that I usualy watch on Wednesdays. I took the kids to a local train museum, then came back to my house for lunch/Anna's nap. On the way home, the little girl bit Jackson on the finger. Hard enough that he started screaming and crying and wouldn't let me look at his finger for a while. When I finally looked at it, I realized that she had broken the skin he has a pretty good sized bloody gash.

Since we were in the car, I gave her a little talk about why we don't bite and asked her to apologize to Jackson. She refused, and started copping a major attitude with me. So, when we got home, I sat her on the couch (very calmly, I never raised my voice during any of this) put Anna down for a nap and got Jackson a band-aid. She sat on the couch, glared at me, and told me I was being mean to her. After about 3 minutes was up, I went in, had another talk with her about biting, asked her again to apologize to Jackson (which she finally did), gave her a hug and dropped it. She claimed that she bit him by accident. :dunno:

So...do I tell her Mom? She didn't pick her up, so if I do tell her it will be an "out of the blue" thing. I feel like it would have been different if she had picked her up, b/c she would have asked "how did she do today?" and I could have told her then.

I feel like I handled the situation, but I also feel like the girl didn't really "get" that she did something wrong and more thought I was just being mean to her (she's very sensitive to punishment etc.). They've been having some issues with her lately, and imo her behavior is deteriorating, and they may want to talk with her about this.

Scott (who is super-protective of Jackson) thinks I definitely need to talk to the Mom. I'm leaning towards waiting to see if it happens again (she's never done anything to hurt Jackson in the 2.5 years I've been watching her, so I have no reason to believe it was something other than an isolated thing). When I see her next week, I would tell her if she asks, but I feel kind of funny bombarding her with this after the fact, when there isn't much she can do.

What do you think?

[AmyP]

The next time you see the mom I'd mention what happened on the lines "I just wanted to let you know..." I know I'd want to be aware of it if my child bit another child. I'd just tell the mom what happened and let her know how you handled it. I'd leave it at that and leave it up to her mom to discuss further if she wishes.

[Karri]

Absolutley, yes. If you were a licensed child care provider, you'd be required to tell her. So I'd handle it the same way, with less formality, of course. It may be a one time thing, but it may be something she's doing at home to get attention or something and this will alert her parents that they need to address it differently.

[Jayne]

I agree with Karri. You need to tell them and I would call her tonight. I think you handled it perfectly but they need to be aware that she is doing it so that they can also talk to her about why we don't bite.

[gulp!]

You should tell her. Do you remember when Krishan pinched Jackson's cheeks? I was mortified and made Krishan apologize immediately. If I were her, I'd want to know if my child was hurting other kids. You handled it well, but I'd tell her anyway.

[pam]

I'd also want to know if my child were hurting another child. I don't think you necessarily need to bombard the mom but maybe casually mention that you thought she might want to know.

[Melissa]

I agree with everyone that you should definitely tell the mom. :nod: I always want to know if Katie has been bad or hurt someone else. I follow up with her at home, we role-play, talk, and go over the problem over and over again.

[magoo]

I agree with the rest. You really should tell her. Also watch Jackson's finger closely to make sure it's healing well. Kid bites are full of bacteria. When my nephew was bit by another kid in the waiting room at the hospital, they actually sent him to the ER to have it cleaned up properly.

[Jillian]

The next time you see the mom I'd mention what happened on the lines "I just wanted to let you know..." I know I'd want to be aware of it if my child bit another child. I'd just tell the mom what happened and let her know how you handled it. I'd leave it at that and leave it up to her mom to discuss further if she wishes.


:nod: Caid went through a biting thing, and I definitely would want to know if he started again!

[Jillian]

I agree with the rest. You really should tell her. Also watch Jackson's finger closely to make sure it's healing well. Kid bites are full of bacteria. When my nephew was bit by another kid in the waiting room at the hospital, they actually sent him to the ER to have it cleaned up properly.

And ditto that to, kid bites are worse than dog bites as far as infections go...I know, Cause caid bit himself hard enough to draw blood way to many times.

[Cami]

I would tell her because it sounds like you and the mom have discussed her behavior in the past (since you said you know they're having issues with her). Otherwise, I might be inclined to let it go unless it happened again. However, I understand the points others made for you telling the mom and I can't really disagree with that either.

[Michele]

Thanks guys...I didn't know if telling her would be overreacting, or weird since it was so far after the fact.

I ended up emailing her. I just said what happened, how I handled it, and how once she apologized to Jackson things were fine (which they were). I also added a part about how I thought she should know b/c they had been having behavior issues with her lately, and b/c it was SO out of character for her (which it was). So, hopefully that was fine.

Thanks for the infection advice...that was the first thing I thought of when I bandaged him up. I meant to check it before he went to bed, but I forgot. First thing tomorrow morning!