When can they stay home alone?

[pfisher]

For those of you with older children, how old were they before you allowed to stay home alone? Amber's only 6 so we still have a few years but I was wondering what the general age is. I know it has a lot to do with how mature and trustworthy she is. I'm getting very discouraged with childcare and am looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. My brother was 9 and I was 7 when we started staying by ourselves.

[TtownAnne]

Some states have legal requirements about how old a child has to be to be home alone, so be sure to check that out. I was a latchkey kid from the time I was in first grade, so I'm a bad example to go by. I would think around the 10-12 years neighborhood would be okay for me to take a quick run to the store or something.

[Alyssa]

Funny, I was (non-seriously) thinking about this today...would be so much easier to leave Aidan alone for bits of time this year so I could get the other kids at school. I won't, I really won't. But it's awfully tempting.

Anyway, I can't say not having been there...but I can't imagine much before 10, even for really short stints of time.

[Shel]

I leave Jacob at home alone at 11, but only if I'm going to be gone an hour or so. He and Kaleb both were probably around 10 when I felt comfortable leaving for short periods of time.

Thankfully, I don't have a big problem because usually David is at home sleeping so if something does happen, I know he's upstairs.

[Cami]

I'm not there yet, but I would think about 10 or 11. I have a friend with an 11 year old who leaves her home alone while she does her 3 mile run through our subdivision.

[Clare]

I wouldn't consider it before age 10 and then there would be lots of factors to take into account.

There's a 7th grader at school who still goes to after-school care every day and I feel so sorry for her getting on the bus with all the little kids. She must be so bored there. She also goes there every day in the school holidays. I think by her age (11-12) I would certainly consider leaving her alone in the afternoons.

[Alyssa]

I wouldn't consider it before age 10 and then there would be lots of factors to take into account.

There's a 7th grader at school who still goes to after-school care every day and I feel so sorry for her getting on the bus with all the little kids. She must be so bored there. She also goes there every day in the school holidays. I think by her age (11-12) I would certainly consider leaving her alone in the afternoons.I know this is a little OT, but there is nothing geared for her age or do the other parents let kids this age stay home?

[Karri]

Poor girl. At 7th grade, you'd be of legal babysitting age. That's embarassing, IMO.

Most people around here start at age 10. But they all make sure that another neighbor knows that the child is at home and makes sure that someone can act as backup if the child gets freaked out or needs help or whatever.

[MrsPeacefrog]

Well I remember being home alone at around 4th - 5th grade, so that would equal the 10yr mark and probably around the time I would be comfortable with it for my Aiden & Riley. As for the younger two they will probably be left sooner but only due to the fact that A & R are older and can watch them, but even with saying that they would have to be 8ish before I would do that too, and of course will depend on how trustworthy A & R are as teenagers :errr: Just imagining them that age freaks me out! :lol:

[Connie1222]

My brother & I were latchkey kids when he was in 3rd, me 2nd, but that was a different world. My stepson (who is 13 now), tells me his mom started leaving him alone around 11. I think that's a good age.

[Jayne]

We started letting Tylor stay home for about an hour or so this past year (11). He could come home from school and come in and stay (Like if I was at a doctor's appt or something) or he could stay if I ran somewhere for something. I am getting more and more lax with it. He is 12 now. I will go to the grocery store for an hour and a half or go to a meeting. I always have my cell phone on and he knows how to answer and call out if he needs it. I am also very reassured because my parents live two doors away, there is a chiropractor beside us and a great friend on the other side. There is also a greenhouse across the street and he knows the owner very very well.

That said. I do not let Alyssa stay home with him. (Actually she wouldn't stay if I did allow it :lol: ) In Ohio the legal age to stay home alone is 11. To watch another child is 12 and I believe that it has to be a sibling (although I am not clear on this) I know you can baby-sit at 13. I used to baby-sit at 12 but those were different times.

[magoo]

I would say 10 would be the earliest and it would depend on the kid.

The YMCA here has a program called "Home Alone" where kids go for three sessions and are prepared to stay home alone. On their pamphlet, it says that the province of Ontario recommends that a) Childred 10-11 years old are able to care for themselves in their own home for short periods of time (1-2 hours) and that b) Children 12 years old are able to care for others for a short period of time. It also has a list of readiness indicators - things like if they have common sense, follow house rules, and tell the truth.

[sheila]

I think 10 is a reasonable time to stay at home alone for short periods.

[Connie1222]

Funny thing, I mentioned my 13 year old stepson. He is visiting us from FLA for a few weeks. This morning, I called my friend and she invited us over for a playdate & lunch. When Daniel heard this he asked if he had to go too. I said no, he could stay home if he wanted, which he did. I set him up w/ lunch, made him some lemonade & off we went. When I got to my friends house, DH called & he was upset with me thatI left Daniel home alone! I'm like, HE'S 13!! I'm sure he would much rather stay home & play video games then come on a playdate. Besides, he's a good kid & I trust him. Was I out of line??

[Karri]

I don't think you were out of line, Connie :dunno:
I've let my 10 YO neighbor take my kids to the park and I've left her with them when I've gone for a run (and her mom or dad is home across the street). Its your and their comfort level.

[schwanda]

I was babysitting for my baby brother by the time I was 12! He's 11 years younger than I am....

Amanda

[Jayne]

Connie, I don't think you were out of line at all. I would have done the same thing and have done the same thing with my 12 year old. I am sure Daniel knows how to get ahold of you if he needs to and it sounds like you really set it up so he would be comfortable while at home alone.

[bunybomb]

My daughter started coming home after school to an empty house at 10. She was only home alone for 90 minutes. I asked the neighbor who stays home if there was an emergency could my child come over. I felt I had it covered.


Now at almost 13, I wish there was a babysitting service that would take her! She needs some supervison. Except when she watch her brother, she does a very fine job. :dunno: I don't get it.

[kika]

My kids were 9 and 11 (almost 10 and 12) when I started leaving them at home for an hour in the morning.

My dd is now 10, and she and my ds will be going to different schools. I don't feel comfortable with her home alone at 10. With the two of them together, I was okay. But with her alone, I am soooo nervous. Part of the issue for me is that she will need to walk home from the bus, let herself in, and then be at home alone for 1 hour. She has a cell phone...but she just seems so innocent and young...the thought terrifies me :errr:.

We are moving to a new state, and I am in the process of tracking down some type of after school activity to keep her busy that one hour.

[Clare]

I know this is a little OT, but there is nothing geared for her age or do the other parents let kids this age stay home?

I don't know for sure, but she is the only one of her age there. The other after-school kids are in kindergarten/grade 1 and grade 2. That's a big age difference! I think she does her homework there in the afternoons but in the school holidays she just hangs out with the little kids. She's a good kid, a prefect and sports team captain. Personally I would trust her to spend an hour or two alone after school but maybe her parents are just overprotective :dunno:

[MrsPeacefrog]

Yikes, Clare. That is so sad, and even sadder she is spending the whole school holidays with these little kids :blue:

[Alyssa]

That is such a bummer for that girl, Clare. :sad:

Connie, I don't think you were out of line at all. Does DH know Daniel's mom lets him stay alone?

[pfisher]

I forgot about the legal requirements. Who would I call to find out the legal age for a child to stay home alone?

[Jayne]

check on this (http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html) site

It say's Contact Child Welfare Information Gateway at 800-394-3366, and staff there will refer you to your local child protective services agency to learn about age guidelines in your area

[pfisher]

Thank you, Jayne!

[Shel]

This is what I found out about Indiana.




For children with normal mental capabilities: Ages 7 and under cannot be left alone for any period of time. Children ages 8 through 9 can be left in their home alone for up to 2 hours. Children 10 through 13 can be left alone for up to 12 hours. Children 14 to 17 can be left at home up to 24 hours with adequate adult back-up supervision (an adult willing to take legal responsibility preferably within 5 miles). For children that are mentally handicapped you have to go by their maturity age and not their chronological age.

[Jayne]

Where didyou find that Shel?

[Shel]

wikipedia

[pfisher]

Shel, do you remember what you searched on? I'm horrible at trying to figure out what search terms were used when someone else does a search :blush1:

[Shel]

I think I just typed staying home alone Indiana or something like that. I actually googled it, and it brought up wikipedia.

[kika]

I found this on the Georgia Department of Human Services website:

"Parents should carefully weigh their options before leaving children home alone this summer. Children age 13 and older generally can be left home alone, but shouldn’t be left home overnight. Children under 8 years of age, however, should never be left home alone even for short periods of time. Parents must assess the maturity and responsibility of their children before deciding whether or not to leave a child alone. Young children should never be left in a parked car..."

IMO, the parked car thing goes without saying, but I guess some parents still need to hear it.

[kika]

The Illinois DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) is less clear. I copied this from a pdf file they uploaded titled "Preparing Children to Stay Alone":

"Unfortunately, there is no magic age at which children develop the maturity and goodsense needed to stay alone. However, there are some signs that show your child may be ready. First, your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone. Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility....For many children these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10-12."

However, it goes on to say, "Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as 'any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor'."

Somewhat vague. But it is a great article as far as determining if a child is ready for self care and preparing them to be home alone. It's worth looking at no matter what state you are in. This article reiterates to me that my 10 year old may not be ready.

Here it is if you'd like to check it out:
http://www.state.il.us/dcfs/docs/leave.pdf