I've only been a SAHM since last November when I quit my job. Jim and I decided it would be best for me to just stay home for a little while due my lack of vehicle, I would get paid less at a new job and the cost of daycare for three kids.

At first being home was great. I was so happy to finally have the time to get things done that were neglected while I working or pushed to the weekends leaving little time for family fun. Dinners suddenly became more relaxed, not as rushed, and healthier since I had more time to devote to making them. The kids enjoyed having more mommy time. All around our stress levels came down drastically....

....Until the last few weeks. The kids have increasingly become out of control, the chores are slipping, and I'm pushing the errands back to the weekends so I don't have to do them with kids in tow. The kids can't seem to get along at all and are constantly fighting over something. I will take that toy away and they find something new to fight about. They go to time out only to continue the fight when they are done. It doesn't matter whether we are inside, outside, or in public this goes on.

I realize the last few days have been an exception because it was just too hot to go outside and play so they have been inside most of the time. (We have done crafts, "school" work, had story time, gone to the library, and just been silly.) I'm sure they have some cabin fever but I am on the verge of losing it. I've been yelling at them more because they are yelling at each other. I got a phone call from a friend and burst into tears while I was talking to her.

I told Jim I wanted to go back to work just to get away from my kids. :blush: I'm also counting down the days until Victoria goes back to school so I have one less kid to deal with plus she is the biggest instigator of them all. When they come near me for attention somedays, I feel like a caged animal with claustrophobia and I just want them away from me.

Please tell me this is somewhat normal to go through these ups and downs. I've been feeling overwhelmed, outnumbered, and like an all around bad mom right now.

Dawn

:justahug:

... but I am on the verge of losing it. I've been yelling at them more because they are yelling at each other....I'm also counting down the days until Victoria goes back to school so I have one less kid to deal with plus she is the biggest instigator of them all. When they come near me for attention somedays, I feel like a caged animal with claustrophobia and I just want them away from me.

This is normal. Some people pretend its a big shiny happy picture all the time, but I think they're lying :lol:
What I quoted you on is exactly how I've been feeling for the last 2-3 weeks. Only I don't want to go back to work. I just want my kids to behave! :lol:

Hang in there :hug99:

:hug99:

I am right there with ya - and I have only been home since April!

We stay home 99.9% of the time b/c we live 20 miles from the City and gas is so freakin' high! John is on nights, so he sleeps during the day, so I try to keep the kids a little bit quiet. He started with ear plugs, so that helps.

Anyway. We've done the "schoolwork", crafts, etc. We don't play outside a whole lot b/c it's rained for the past 3 weeks straight - at least a good soaking every day.

You're definitely not alone in feeling the way that you do. I always knew I was a better mom when I am working - having been home a little over 3 months only confirms that for me :lol:

I just wish my kids would behave. One on one, they're fine - but get 2 or 3 of them together and it's enough to make me want to rip my hair out! :lol:

Yeah, I'm just grateful some days that both my kids still take naps! What Karri and Shanna said are so true, and for you for that matter. There are days when it's really wonderful to stay home. Then there are others where I start counting down the minutes until my husband comes home.

This is by-far the toughest job I've ever done. And I didn't have high expectations at being a SAHM. Some of my working mom friends at my old job are envious because I don't have to "work". They think it's this perfect world where you just spend time with your kids and everything is wonderful. Yeah. Then I tell them stories of my neighbor two houses away yelling at my daughter to stop screaming--as I'm screaming right back at her.

:hug99: Hang in there. And know that many of the rest of us are counting down the days to school begins ourselves. :)

Oh my. :bighug: Trust me, we ALL have days where we shriek like harpies and threaten whatever sort of dire punishments we can come up with just to get them to STOP. Stop yelling, stop crying, stop whining, stop doing whatever it is that is currently making life intolerable.

The only thing that works REALLY well for us is setting out in the morning exactly what will be happening during the day. Yes, we will definitely go to the park, but ONLY after I finish a load of laundry, and ONLY if you don't whine about the breakfast choices. etc. Victoria should be at an age now where she can "help" make choices about how to get things accomplished so that everyone gets something good out of the day.

And Darcy's right - I was positively giggling with glee to let Caroline pick out ANY backpack and lunchbox she wanted at Target today because it meant SCHOOL IS COMING!

Thanks, Karri, Shanna, Darcy, and Anne! I know that some of what we are dealing with is normal but there are days, like today, when it just seems to never end.

Karri and Shanna - I know how you feel about wanting them to behave. I've had times where I've literally begged them and even offered bribes for them to be good just so I can run to the store with them for milk.

Darcy and Anne - the school countdown began on the last day of kindergarten. :lol: I love my daughter to pieces but I canNOT wait for her to be in school ALL day. I did the whole pick out your backpack and lunchbox thing yesterday with her and I wasn't even that upset that we spent more than I normally would have.

I need to get away. The friend I was on the phone with when I started to cry said we should go out for a drink tonight. I told her I just may take her up on that offer. :lol: If I don't, I think I'm still going to run away - even if it's just to Dunkin Donuts for coffee with my book.

Dawn

I don't have much to add, but I wanted to say that I'm in this club too. I feel bad that a lot of times I need a break from them even when they're not technically misbehaving. For instance, I just had a toy cell phone thrust in my face at the beginning of this post. Then Cole went into my scrapbooking area and fell into a bunch of my stuff, and now he's making himself at home with all my stuff. And this wasn't a long post. :lol:

I love my kids, but I need quiet sometimes. And this house is NEVER quiet.

You're not alone.

I'm right there with all of you!

I feel that summer has been particularly hard since we don't have much structure. I purposedly planned it this way b/c I wanted them to have time to just be kids. However, I am rethinking this. :giggle: I think we are all happier with some structure, so I've been trying to create structure this week, and I'm feeling a little better. I have weeks all the time where I decide I'm going back to work...but I have yet to actually do it.

What's hard for me at the moment is that Jackson does not nap anymore, but Anna needs to nap every afternoon in her crib. So we are stuck here for 3 hours right in the middle of the day, every day. That is always when I start to get frazzeled b/c I want to get stuff done around the house or relax, but he is bored and wants my attention. I really miss his naptime.

He's in school 3 days a week next year, and I'm very much looking forward to that!

Stacey - as soon as I sat down at the computer all three of them came in and wanted to see what I was doing and two of them tried to sit in my lap. I keep getting up to check on what they are doing to make sure they aren't into something.

Michele - mine don't nap anymore either - occassionally Lauren will crawl onto the couch and pass out for a couple of hours but that's it. I miss those days too. :lol: I have a schedule that we trying to follow - somedays are better than others. None of my kids are in scheduled activities like dance, sports, or swimming right now due to the cost involved so it's all up to me to keep them busy. I'm running out of ideas. :lol: Alex and Lauren aren't interested in doing the school stuff that Victoria needs to do.

A little while ago we did a craft project - painting suncatchers - and it was the best behaved they were all day. Too bad the project didn't last longer. I think I will head out tonight and go to WalMart for more craft projects. :lol:

Dawn

Jacob still naps, though the girls just end up destroying their room, and then end up spending the rest of the afternoon cleaning it up :banghead:

I make them stay in their rooms, though. That is my "sanity" time - while they are "napping" :giggle:

I'm here to!! Even though I only have one child, I feel the pain!! lol It's been really really hot, like 110 quite a few days here lately so we've just stayed inside most of the day. Brookelyn gets bored and so do I! I've found that we have to have a pretty set schedule. While we're eating breakfast I go over it with Brookelyn and let her know what mommy has to do and what she can do while I'm getting my things done and then I let her know what we'll do together, activities, outings whatever it may be. We also both take 'alone time' during the day. I know this may be impossible with more than one child.. Brookelyn gets to choose a quiet activity (even it's it watching a movie or something) for an hour (since she doesn't nap anymore) and I get to do a quiet activity too.. she knows that in that time she can't bug me and I won't bug her. I set the timer on the microwave for an hour. This seems to work well for both of us and calms both of us down.
Another thing we do is our evenings are kinda busy... tues night swim lessons, wed night she goes to awana and matt takes a class at church, thurs night swim lessons. I chose not to take the class at church so that I could have 2 hours alone at night without anyone. On mon we usually hang out as a family or if I really need some mommy time, Matt will take her to the park after dinner or just out on a walk....

Last week Alex had the boys pretty much the whole time as I was out with Emily. He was so cranky by the time I got home on Sunday afternoon and I was able to say "see why I'm not always in a great mood when you get home from work now?" He comes in from work all bright and bubbly and expecting sunshine and roses, but after a day home with the kids, I'm ready to kill someone :lol: At least he appreciates that a little now!

As everyone has said "you are not alone"

I do have to say though that my kids are willing to behave if I threaten taking something they truly love away. For example, they do bowling league every tuesday, all I have to do is tell them they won't go bowling if they keep fighting/whining/clawing at me etc and it tends to stop them. NOT FOR LONG :shuffle: But it stops them. Gives me enough time ot get away from it.

I am also incredibly guilty of yelling and screaming like a banshee, and there are times they don't even pay attention to the fact I am even there. I have been known to break down in tears and huddle in my bedroom.

It's a definate rollercoaster that not everyone can do. I guess though if I was to choose work over this I would probably choose this, just because I think life would be even more hectic if I did work fulltime and the last thing we need in this house is more chaos. :lol:

:hug99: Hang in there!

I'm in this club, too. Oh, how I wish I weren't.

I keep typing up longer posts and then deleting them. For now, I'll just leave it as "I'm here, too" :grouphugg

Dawn - Do you have any other SAHMs that you hang out with (playgroups and such) during the day? I find that it helps me a lot. Even if my kids are misbehaving at their houses (and they do :lol: ), we all say, "well at least I know that its just not my kids that is a freak" :scan: and have someone to commiserate with.
But seriously...it helps them to play with other people, because then they don't fight with each other, which is 90% of my problem.

Like Stacey mentioned, I find it vital to get away, regardless of their behavior. I try to do things that don't cost money. I will meet a friend at a coffee shop and we'll knit. Or I'll go to B&N and read a book or magazine in silence. Its nice to regroup like that.

I'm in the same boat as all of you too.
All I can think of now is "Kenny starts KK in Sept. so I'll have 2 mornings a week for just me and Jonathan" :giggle:
My biggest problem, though, is my neighbor who comes over from shortly after bfast until just before her dh comes home (when he was away she was over 24/7 and even stayed over with her kids a couple of times!) Some days we have a great time but other times.... lets just say if I vocalize my thoughts I may burst into flames...:lol:

I am also incredibly guilty of yelling and screaming like a banshee, and there are times they don't even pay attention to the fact I am even there. I have been known to break down in tears and huddle in my bedroom.



This is me. I feel like an insane person. I start off speaking to my children calmly and positively, and after I've repeated myself 6 times and they're totally ignoring me I'm screaming like a wild woman. This is NOT how I imagined it would be. I didn't think my kids would be perfect, but I never imagined they would totally ignore my exsistance (until they want food, of course :rolleyes: ) I honestly feel like I'm going to go crazy, no range of consequences from losing items to losing activities to time-outs has made my voice any more effective. Today Zack almost ran off a rock wall into a lake because he was trying to go faster than Mason and I couldn't catch him, even though I called his name 6-7 times trying to warn him. He just totally ignores me, and Mason is even worse. :help:

And they also spend the bulk of the day trying to kill each other and fighting over property, whether it's a toy or the best seat on the couch for video time or the air space, if one happens to be to close to the other. Alright, I could go on about a million different things, I'll cut it off here.

And I work 2 days a week! I don't want to go back to full time, but I'm sick of staying home. Basically, I have no place in the world. I'm counting the minutes until Zack is in full time K. So, I feel your pain, man.

Holy crap Kristen, are you sure you're not living my life?! :scan: I could slap up a ginormous DITTO to your entire post. I'm a little relieved that my situation is not unique, frankly. :heee: (not that I'm glad anyone else is going through the same thing, but you kwim...)

This is not an easy job, being a mom. I hope you can find some ways to steal yourself some small breaks where you can, Dawn. :hug99:

When I read a lot of what you go through I am so thankful for putting 6 years between my kids :lol: That said I can be right where you are. Tylor is 12. Alyssa is 5 but I still insist on quiet time in the afternoon. Alyssa will 5 out of 7 days take a nap and I am trying to break her of this with all day K coming on but that said I still insist on 1 1/2 hrs of quiet time. It is where I get my sanity back. They go to their rooms. Tylor will read or watch a show. Alyssa will play in her doll house or with other toys. Anyway you cut it this really helps me feel like I can get some time to be me again. I often spend it cleaning up but it is completely quiet and I can do what i need to do.

I too am so glad I'm not alone in this. Seriously, it makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only screaming banshee. How many times did I swear I wasn't going to be like that, but I can't help it. Jackson knows how to push every single one of my buttons, and does it with such gusto that it is scary.

I still have 2 more years until full day kindergarten...damn October birthday. :giggle:

Right now J & A share a room, so I can't send him up there for quiet time b/c she's sleeping in there. I just had the idea that maybe I'd send him up to my room and make it a special treat to watch a movie in Mommy's bed in the afternoon....hmmm...the wheels are turning.

And they also spend the bulk of the day trying to kill each other and fighting over property, whether it's a toy or the best seat on the couch for video time or the air space, if one happens to be to close to the other. Alright, I could go on about a million different things, I'll cut it off here.


This is my kids too! Everything is a competition between them. When we are all walking togehter they push and shove each other because all of them want to be the "line leader." Lauren has come very close to running out in traffic at WalMart just so she could be the first one to get the cart. I've started telling them that the person who takes off running for the cart is going to sit in it and that usually slows them down for a few minutes - Lauren always ends up in the cart anyway just so I know where at least one is at all times. :silly:

Karri - Unfortunately all the playgroups and such for my kids' age group are not run in the summer months and only during the school year. I take the kids to the park so they can run off some of their energy when the weather permits. This past week it was just way too hot so we were cooped up inside.

Deb - I've locked myself in the bathroom to bawl uncontrollably a few times. :whistle:

Dawn

I've had a "lock myself in the bathroom and cry" sort of days. I'm sure I'll expound on it in my journal...but it started with me threatening to skip the playground if he didn't listen, and having to follow through, and culminated with him getting away from me on his bike and almost riding it into a busy road at rush hour, as I screamed for him to stop.

My child doesn't listen, and today it literally almost got him killed. He was sent to his room for the night at 6pm today...

I'm feeling horridly guilty, but I'm also still shaking at the thought of what could have happened.

Today was one of those days where I really wanted to get a full time job.

I've cried right in front of my kids. :disbelief In fact, I did a little today. What can I say, I suck at this. I think it's time for my kids to look for a new mom, a competent one, since I have clearly failed to teach them a single friggin thing about behaving like humans and treating others like humans. :rolleyes:

I completely broke down yesterday - more than once - and bawled until my head hurt. :blush: My frustration level just went through the roof and I didn't know what else to do. The kids saw me crying and asked why I was so I told them it was because they were being fresh and not listening to me. You know what they did? They went right back to being the out of control monsters they were before hand. :banghead: Thank goodness Jim came home early yesterday or I would have had to be committed.


Dawn

:hug99: Dawnie!

What I find totally frustrating is that I know my children are capable of being good. They do have there good moments, but their bad ones definately outway the good. Normally a good threat of taking away things they love or not going to bowling league can get them to pay attention for a few minutes, but I literally need to have them in hysterical freaking out tears to get them to even remotely begin to pay attention to me :rolleyes: I think it's in their nature to compete, my boys compete over who gets dressed first and if one finishes a fraction of a second before the other, who ever "wins" will taunt the other one till they are in tears. :gah:

I tend to find I go out because they do behave better while out, they enjoy the activity. I do find on days when I am not completely exhausted if I do structured activities with them 24/7 they behave, but it's exhausting to constantly do activities with them, I need alone time too!

Like Jayne, I put Jacob down for a nap at midday and insist the boys go to their room and watch a DVD so I can have quiet time, but anyone who talks to me on the phone or on MSN during that supposed quiet time will tell you I am constantly yelling at them to stop wrestling in their room, it's quiet time. Or I am constantly telling them to stop coming out saying they are hungry, thirsty, Aiden hit me, Riley looked at me or the DVD is scratched :rolleyes: My 1 1/2 hour alone time turns into me begging them to GIVE me that 1 1/2 hours! sometimes I get so fed up I go in there, turn off the DVD and FORCE them to sleep. Not an easy task, but I lie down with them and eventually after tears they go to sleep, but by the time I have done that, Jacob has woken from his nap so I always end up having atleast one child around me.

I guess this is why I stay up so late at night. It's ME time, the minute the boys go to bed, I feel like it's time for me to be me and I can surf the net, watch TV, talk to friends on the phone or just sit and listen to the silence.

I love my children more than anything on this planet, but there are days I want to seriously throw them across the room just to shut them up for 5 minutes! I do think that it will get easier as they get older, I just gotta get through this patch.

Ultimately, Dawnie. This thread may not be solving your problems but it's definately allowed all those who experience the same thing KNOW they are not alone :hug99:

I guess this is why I stay up so late at night. It's ME time, the minute the boys go to bed, I feel like it's time for me to be me and I can surf the net, watch TV, talk to friends on the phone or just sit and listen to the silence.


:dude: DITTO! I don't even want to talk to anyone, I just want to sit still in the quiet and flip channels. During the day I make all of these grand plans for things I'm going to accomplish after they go to bed... what a joke. By the time they are asleep I'm a certifiable vegetable-useless. *sigh*

Dawnie, you sure opened up the flood gates. :) I feel better just talking about it, it really does make such a difference to know I'm not alone. SUCH a difference. I imagine we'll all get through it somehow. (right???)

I'm so glad to read that we're ALL nuts, not just me! While I know I have it easier with just one child right now.. I feel for you ladies too!!
One day Brookelyn accidently locked herself in the dogs wire crate (it's where the dog sleeps) and couldn't get out. I called my sister laughing telling her that I had a dilema.. "My kid locked herself in the dogs crate." to which my sister laughed and said, 'well, let her out.'.. I said. "That's the problem, I really really don't want to!" lol Of course I did, because after a few min of me laughing hysterically Brookelyn began to cry and I felt bad... :)

Alyson that's hilarious :lol: Believe me, caging the untamed little monsters in my house has definitely crossed my mind more than once :giggle:

I agree, it's good to hear that I'm not the only one going thru this hard times and hoping that we will all survive it and off course be at least a bit sane at the end of it.

I'm another one that stays late for Mommy time. Blair's crazy schedule makes it hard for me to get things done on my own and pretty much the only time I'm by myself is when I'm on my way to/from work & at work (though sometimes my boss is not any better than my kids :rolleyes: )... oh and MOPS but I still have to drag Ian with me.

I keep thinking that if my Mom made it thru (there were 4 of us against her & my Dad traveled & worked long hours) & we all survived that I can make it thru too :crossfing

:grouphugg

Deb - Actually, just hearing all of you share your "horror" stories with me helps a lot. I now know I'm not alone and there are more than a few SAHMs that feel like running away from home. :lol:

I'm also a night owl for the very reason you all said - it's ME time. I stay up late, watch TV, read, do the crossword puzzle - ANYTHING that I can't do during the day without at least one kid in my face.

Dawn

I'm late posting, but I feel the same way as you guys. Even though I only have one child and she still naps almost every afternoon.

Yesterday she was just all over me all day! DH worked from home Wednesday and Thursday and I think that confused her a little. So she'd be all over him, he'd have to get her off of him so he could work, then she'd climb all over me. She was constantly thrusting one toy after another in my face (which is an improvement, she used to constantly chuck them across the room).

We have some structure since she's in therapy 3-4 days a week until next week. Then it's once a week. Ugh. And I work once a week, but today is my second to last day here. It's probably for the best because when I am at work, I finally have time to catch up on the boards so I spend hours doing that and I don't do much work. I've been here an hour and a half and I've done maybe 5 minutes worth of work. Not good.

So, yeah, I've been there. Being a SAHM is really tough. Heck, being a mom is tough whether you work or not!

I'm right here with you all too! Some days I just want to run away!
What makes life easier for me is not being home! We go to the pond or beach or go over a friends house to play. If we are home all day the boys are whining, fighting, messing up the house, eating every thing in site and just up my @$$ all day!

Being a SAHM is the hardest job I've ever had. I am looking forward to going back to work in a few years.

I could do a big ditto to all of your posts. I am only home with the boys 2 1/2 days a week and although I have no desire to go back to full-time again there are some days that I just want to run away when I am home. Christopher and Patrick alternate between fighting with each other and then bugging the crap out of me or Nathan. All I hear all day long is "Mommy get me _____!" I have become the parent that yells all day and I never wanted to be like that. I am so looking forward to the end of August when school starts. One would think that I would be sad to see Christopher start kindergarten but honestly I need the break from him. It will be so nice when Patrick is in preschool three mornings a week because Nathan and I will finally have some peace and quiet together!

Hi Dawn! I know it's all been said, but beleive me, I am right there with all of you! My saving grace this summer has been having Jack in day camp all day. Patrick is one tough cookie, very cranky & moody, so having to deal only with him is MUCH easier. Unfortunately, camp ends Aug. 3 and school begins Sept. 4th, Yikes! Hang in there!

I just looked it up and school starts on August 29th - 5 weeks from today! I'm not sure I'm going to make it. :banghead: :lol:

Honestly, last week wasn't too bad because Jim had a light work week and was home fairly early everyday. This week is a whole new ball game. He's not going to be home for the next 4 nights. :tearhair: I get them all day long and at night too?!?!? Just shoot me now!

DAwn

I'm definitely having one of those days today. I was planning to take Sarah to story time, then straight to the pool. Well, she screamed her head off the second we got to story time for what reason I have absolutely no idea (I didn't tell her we were going to the pool, and she wouldn't understand if I told her anyway). So we left after ten minutes and went home because there is no way I'm teaching her that screaming her way out of story time means she gets to go to the pool right afterwards. So in taking away her fun, I get to take away mine too. Ugh.

She got a time out when we got home. I may take her to the pool after her nap if she actually takes a nap. She's being so awful I have no idea if she'll sleep or not.

I should be giving her lunch right now but I'm afraid I may strangle her.

Where are those traveling gypsies when you need them?

:secret: wait till you have 2, Amy :giggle:


Oooh, I'm just so mean!!!!!

I could do a big ditto to all of your posts. I am only home with the boys 2 1/2 days a week and although I have no desire to go back to full-time again there are some days that I just want to run away when I am home. Christopher and Patrick alternate between fighting with each other and then bugging the crap out of me or Nathan. All I hear all day long is "Mommy get me _____!" I have become the parent that yells all day and I never wanted to be like that. I am so looking forward to the end of August when school starts. One would think that I would be sad to see Christopher start kindergarten but honestly I need the break from him. It will be so nice when Patrick is in preschool three mornings a week because Nathan and I will finally have some peace and quiet together!

DIT-TO!!!!

Aiden is the instigator in our house, when he is at preschool in the mornings for 2 1/2 hours, the kids do what I say when I say it! It's like being in kiddy heaven, then he comes home and all hell breaks loose, he fights with Riley and I hear the non stop siren cry that builds in pitch and volume the longer I ignore it :errr: OUR school year doesn't start until February, so everyone say "poor Deb" :giggle:

:secret: wait till you have 2, Amy :giggle:


Oooh, I'm just so mean!!!!!

:whistle: I was thinking the same thing, Kristen. :lol:

Amy, I'm sure you'll do great and when they drive you bonkers, come back here and share with us.

Me? Right now I actually have a headache from yelling at the kids today. :blush: They've been fighting over everything for two days and the living looks like the toy box vomitted all over. I scream, they pick up some, then toss new ones on the floor.

I was trying to talk on the phone a little while ago and they got up in my face. They didn't want to have anything to do with me in fact until the phone hit my ear then it was whining, yelling, and "mommy, I want XXXX" right in front of me. :mad:

Where's the Tylenol? :silly:

Dawn

Omg, I can't talk on the phone ever. I think that's a big reason why I have no friends.

:bighug: I'm so orry, Dawnie. How frustrating. Home alone with the kids, the days drag on for weeks. I wish I had comforting words.

In general, I find I am much calmer the past few weeks. I think partly it's because I have given up. I'm not proud to admit this, but a couple of weeks ago I had a meltdown and informed Zack that it would serve him well to find a better mommy, one who is capable of teaching him how to treat others with respect and behave appropriately, because I am doing a terrible job. (I feel I must reiterate that I did NOT tell him I was leaving or wouldn't take care of him anymore-I said I'll aways be here, but he should be on the lookout for a better model...) He was NOT happy to hear me say this, and got quite upset. That, I'm sure, is going to cost me $10,000 in therapy during the tumultuous teen years. Probably not my proudest mommy moment, though sadly, DEFINITELY not my worst mommy moment. :rolleyes:

Honestly, ever since then, things are just much calmer. If found that when Zack freaks out, like if I tell him it's time to get out of the tub and he freaks out and refuses, I just let him go. I get Mason out and leave him wet in the empty tub while Mason gets dressed. He screams bloody murder at me (which I can only imagine he learned from me) and says very disrespectful things, and I totally ignore him. I SWEAR, within 10 minutes, he apologizes for the things he said and for his behavior. :faint: I've taken this route a couple of different times, and I swear, it's working. He is NOT happy about being ignored, and he is really realizing the consequences of that kind of tantrum behavior-that it gets him nowhere. I don't think this would work with Mason because he's too young, but just having one less tantrum-maker in the house has made life easier.

And even the rest of the time, when things aren't getting picked up, or they're pulling all the cushions off the couch (my huge pet peeve) my attitude is much more, "Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it." And to be honest, it hasn't made the toys get picked up, it hasn't really stopped them from tossing the pillows all over the floor, but I do feel calmer about it. It's a nice feeling, to not be bothered so much. And even though they're not behaving the way I wish they were, they are a lot better when I'm not screaming at them.

Who knew defeatism could be so productive? Just thought I'd share my teeny little success story, in case any of you other over-the-edge moms out there are considering giving up as well. :grouphugg

Now if only I could find a way to keep them from killing eachOTHER...

I'm not proud to admit this, but a couple of weeks ago I had a meltdown and informed Zack that it would serve him well to find a better mommy, one who is capable of teaching him how to treat others with respect and behave appropriately, because I am doing a terrible job.



I had a similar conversation with Riley, telling her that I was apparently a bad teacher since I could not get across to her that she could not hit/smack/push etc her brother. She told me that other mommies probably weren't as mean as me either, so I gave her 5 minutes to pack everything she had so she could go find a new mommy.

The little sh*t packed her bags, then sat on the front porch for 2 hours playing with what she had packed waiting for me to let her back in.

I found my saving grace. Free preschool. From 8-3. Every day. For the twins. I. Am. So. Stinking. Ecstatic! It is offered through the school district and is free to children who weighed less than 5 pounds at birth. They get to go this year AND next!

Wow! Congrats, Shanna! Our public school offers preschool - it's only for about 2 to 2.5 hours a day - but getting into it is really hard. I called to see about it and was told it was done by a lottery and that they advertise in the paper when they are going to do it. I read the paper every day and never saw it. Someone told me the lottery thing is a crock and they take the kids that attend a certain daycare in town.

I've done the "I'm a bad mommy so pack you things and leave" route too. :blush: Victoria and Alex cried but Lauren packed her stuff and was ready to leave. :rolleyes:

Dawn

Well, I actually saw a tear-sheet for it in the convenience store, so I took one and called and WHAMMO! I didn't think that the school district that we are in provided one, I knew that the one that we school-choiced into did, though. The girls will go here this year and next and then start at the school that JAcob goes to for kindergarten. The only thing I have to provide is a pair of slippers for each of them :giggle: They are a "shoe-free" environment. Not quite sure what thats all about, but the girls are gonna LOVE that! So, I'm gonna take them shopping for "school supplies" and let them pick out some slipper :lol:

I had a similar conversation with Riley, telling her that I was apparently a bad teacher since I could not get across to her that she could not hit/smack/push etc her brother. She told me that other mommies probably weren't as mean as me either, so I gave her 5 minutes to pack everything she had so she could go find a new mommy.

The little sh*t packed her bags, then sat on the front porch for 2 hours playing with what she had packed waiting for me to let her back in.

:faint: Damn!


I found my saving grace. Free preschool. From 8-3. Every day. For the twins. I. Am. So. Stinking. Ecstatic! It is offered through the school district and is free to children who weighed less than 5 pounds at birth. They get to go this year AND next!

More :faint:

Shoe free? Is that a hillbilly thing?














:giggle:

Shoe free? Is that a hillbilly thing?














:giggle:
:giggle:
The lady said it creates a more germ-free environment since they play in the floor and all that stuff. :dunno: Whatever :lol:

Shoe free? Is that a hillbilly thing?

:spitwater

That's twice in 10 minutes Shedelity...

De-lurking..... :heee:

The Montessori school I checked out last spring is the same. :nod: All the kids wear slippers in the school and put their shoes in cubbies by the door.

However....my county DOES have the rep as being a bit redneck as far as the Greater Seattle Area is concerned. :giggle:

Luv U Shanna!! :kiss:

okay. I wrote a big long post and was almost done when I tried to get Hannah to eat her lunch. She got mad at what I was serving, and came over to the computer and helped herself to pbskids.com even though she KNOWS she's not allowed to use the computer without getting permission first, and of course, she lost my post when she went to another website :complain:

So, yeah, I'm right there with you more than I can even possibly express. :mad:

:tongue2:




heh. . .I admit, I live in redneck central :lol:

Wow, I had never heard of "shoe free" schools. As a matter of fact I know that I have been told (at Ian's school) that kids should keep their shoes on at all times b/c of a safety law (not sure if it's just in TX)... in case there is an emergency or so :dunno:

Our Montessori was shoe-free EXCEPT for the primary kids (i.e, the ones most likely to be on the floor working/playing!) I always thought it was a weird idea anyway, how a school that wants to be taken seriously and expects the kids to take their work seriously and some of the schools have uniforms, but it's okay to mosey around in your purple fuzzy slippers?

I had a similar conversation with Riley, telling her that I was apparently a bad teacher since I could not get across to her that she could not hit/smack/push etc her brother. She told me that other mommies probably weren't as mean as me either, so I gave her 5 minutes to pack everything she had so she could go find a new mommy.

The little sh*t packed her bags, then sat on the front porch for 2 hours playing with what she had packed waiting for me to let her back in.

OMG, sorry Shel, but that made me laugh! :spit:

Jack's daycare was shoe-free as well. All thr kids wore slippers that they changed into before going in.

Well, today is Jack's last day of camp. :cry: And exactly one more month until school starts. God help me!

I had a similar conversation with Riley, telling her that I was apparently a bad teacher since I could not get across to her that she could not hit/smack/push etc her brother. She told me that other mommies probably weren't as mean as me either, so I gave her 5 minutes to pack everything she had so she could go find a new mommy.

The little sh*t packed her bags, then sat on the front porch for 2 hours playing with what she had packed waiting for me to let her back in.



Proof!



http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b7d622b3127cceb91b0f2d44d800000026108Fasmzlu0g



http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b7d622b3127cceb91b0f3d44c800000026108Fasmzlu0g


(notice she made her bed with her blankie and pillow?)

:lol2:

Wow, she was prepared!