How to tell a Dear friend

[Jayne]

Stacy is one of my best friends. I haven't told her we are pg yet. She knew we had tried but because it wasn't happening to us right away I could tell she felt a little bit at ease. Everytime someone she knows ends up pg she gets really sad so I am afraid to tell her. I have to do it though..I have to be the one to tell her before she hears it from someone else.

(for those who don't know she had her daughter born still at 40weeks last year due to the coxsacky virus..they just started clomid last month and it didn't work. She just got done with AF)

[Shel]

I can understand it's hard for her, but because she's your friend, I can't imagine her being upset with you. Can you go over to tell her just by yourself in private? I imagine that would be easier than calling her or having her find out from someone else. Since she's trying, be positive that hopefully she'll be pg too and you can get all big and fat together.

[Alysia]

I agree with Shel. I think that's the best thing to do.

[Jayne]

My intent was to call her when she got done with school. She teaches in North Canton and she has class tonight and so won't be home until after 10pm and I want to tell her tonight before her mom finds out from MIL (Stacy is Dan's cousin). I have to be the one to tell her. It is only right. I just not sure how to say it.

[Kara]

I ditto Shel...let her know you are considering her feelings..and let her know that you pray that you both will hopefully share part of pg together. She'll have to deal with her feelings, but I don't think she would ever be "mad" at you.

[Kimberly]

I haven't been in her exact situation, but ttc #2 for 3+ years lets me relate to that aspect of it. I would definitely tell her *now* and not take a chance on her hearing it from someone else. Tell her that you would love for her to be a part of your pregnancy, but that you understand how difficult it may be for her. Let her take the lead on asking questions and such from there. She will be thrilled for you - you are her friend afterall. I have always been thrilled for my friends (especially those who have gone through IF stuff like we have). It will sting for a bit - not out of jealousy, but out of sadness that it isn't her, but I'm sure she will be happy for you.

BTW... Congratulations!!!

[Jayne]

Thanks everyone. She said she is so happy for us. She knew we were trying. I told her it was ok for her to be upset, that I would understand. She said that she wouldn't tell me if she was but that she is ok right now and she is very happy that we will have another child!

[Brandi]

That must be so hard for her! I'm glad you told her right away though. I don't even know how to imagine what her situation must feel like. You are a great friend for being caring and honest at the same time!