So Brian and I have talked, and he might like to have kids at some point (not right this minute, as the logistics are rotten and there's no ring on my finger :lol: ). I'm willing to consider the possibility, but I'm a bit nervous - I'm 38, will be 39 in June, and I'm not getting any younger.

What might I want to consider if we decide to try at some point in the not-too-distant future?

Have LOTS of patience! :lol: I'll be 40 in July and we've been TTC #2 for almost 2 years (in May) with 2 losses along the way.

I accept that we have old gametes and it's going to take us a little longer. It would probably also help to have a mental line-in-the-sand on how far you want to take things. We will not do any artificial means of getting pg - drugs, IUI, IVF. If we're evaluated by a doc and they say that's what it'll take....then we'll adopt. :)

I would have a full physical and make sure you're as healthy as possible and then just relax (when the time is right) and show your love for each other when the mood strikes. When the time is right, you'll be happily puking! :aok: :lol:

I'm "only" 35 but I have a long history of IF stuff.
My best advice is - Don't wait! If you think you want to have another, start ASAP. The longer you wait, the greater the chance of having IF problems. I know that you probably aren't at the point of actively trying yet but I would start sooner rather than later. The standard teaching is that you should only try on your own for 6 months before seeking treatment from a RE. Hopefully you won't need help at all to get pregnant (my best friend had her first at age 36 and second at age 39 and never had a problem) but be aggressive!
I really hope this all works out for you. I think it's very exciting.

Amanda

Lisa, I am the same age as you... I'll be 39 in July... I got pregnant w/ Tatum 2 years ago at 36 on a total oops, so age alone isn't going to necessarily be an obstacle...I don't remember your history w/ Julian, but if you didn't have issues, you may still NOT have any fertility issues even though 5 years have gone by... If you decide to go for it, I'd say, just see what happens, but I know when you are over 35, you can get in to see a specialist much faster than if you are under 35.

Best wishes with whatever you decide :)

Thanks, y'all! :hug99:

Brian and I have already talked about the need to consider how far we'd go in terms of treatment for possible IF issues. It took me a year and a half, give or take, to get pregnant with Julian, and I had to use Clomid and IUI to do it, so I know I've got issues. Yeah, I've heard that sometimes women who have IF issues with a first pregnancy don't have them with a second, but I'm not counting on that. It would depend in large part on what insurance would cover and what kind of job I get (i.e., would it be a big boost to my salary or just a little one). I'd thought, once we're seriously ready to try, of just going back to my IF doc (he's an OB/GYN, not an RE, so I could refer myself) and telling him, hey, time for round 2. So I've got no problem with aggressive, and given my age and my history, I wouldn't try six months before seeking out help - maybe three, tops. I'd do Clomid and IUI again. IVF, not so sure. Injectables, I don't think I'm prepared to go that route. If it came to that, we'd talk about adopting (which I have no problem with - I'm adopted myself, so I'd think it was pretty cool) or just figure it wasn't meant to be.

As for general health, I already know I have high blood pressure. :( That worries me, but I think it's related to my work to some extent - maybe not completely, but I think it would be a lot more easily controlled if I were in a different job. (When I go to the doc taking my meds on days I've been to work and it's through the roof, and go to the doc when I've been out of my meds for a few days and haven't been to work and she comments on how good it is? You do the math - it's work, I'm telling you! :lol: ) I'm overweight, too, I know that as well. I don't think either of these are insurmountable obstacles, just things to consider and work on and address. (I also know if we wait for me to get to my "ideal" weight to try, we'll never try.)

Exciting? Yeah, I guess it is. But it's nervewracking, too. AACK. If I'm even contemplating this, when I've sworn previously that I didn't want another, I must love him an AWFUL lot. :lol:

Lisa! :lol:

Well, I had no problems conceiving Alex (aside from 2 losses beforehand) and I'm having all sorts of issues this time. I hope it also works the opposite for you this time - hard time 1st...no problems the 2nd. :)

It's great that you already know what to expect from your body! I'd say that's half the battle right there.

Yeah, I guess if I had to have it one way or the other, I'd rather have problems the first go-round and be pleasantly surprised the second. But I guess we'll see when we get there!

I know Brian said he'd wanted children, but he and his ex never had any. I don't know how seriously they tried, or if any testing was ever done. I know that with Julian, the problems were all mine - Kevin's testing came out so well, I didn't think he'd be able to fit his head in the door. :rolleyes: :lol: But I don't know if Brian has ever had any of that done. So, that may be something to think about, since the initial testing for men is pretty simple.