Overscheduling?

[Clare]

How many extra-curricular activities do you consider overscheduling?

We have a two activities (outside of school) rule and I think that's okay. I don't think my kids are overscheduled or exhausted. They've chosen their activities and want to do them. Yet my mother made a comment the other day about them being overscheduled and said they'll be lucky to live till 20 at this pace (which I thought was rich coming from her seeming as one of her children only lived till 16 :mad: ).

Their schedule is:

Emily - school 5 days a week
- Irish dancing on Saturday and Tuesday afternoons (2.5hrs total)
- ballet on Thursday afternoon (45 minutes)

Harry - school 5 days a week
- cricket on Wednesday afternoon (45 minutes)
- tennis on Saturday morning (30 minutes)

Is that too much? Enough? What do you think is a good number of activites at this age?

[Bridget]

Clare I (honestly, not just saying this as a friend) think your kid's schedules seem fine. I know here some people limit their kids to one sport because some sports here can tie up children several days (parts of days) per week.

I think what's MOST important is a good life balance for your children and entire family. I know a woman with two kids who had her children in so many activities they were always whining, crying and begging not to go. They just were begging for some down time and couldn't get it.

I have another friend who told me that if you don't stick your kids in sports they won't learn to be competitive and will turn out to be losers (not making that up, that's what she said). I mean, WTF?

I think your kids have a great home to activities balance and seem happy, healthy and well adjusted. In all your posts you can tell you are concerned about their welfare and how well they are doing and/or enjoying their activities. You're not just dumping them in stuff to be rid of them, or expect them to win competitive dance competitions at age 4, KWIM?

I think your mom is old school and off base. :hug99:

[TtownAnne]

Just dittoing Bridget here - your mother needs a hobby, maybe she should hang out with my mother who says the same thing. :rolleyes: It's not like you're forcing the kids to participate in these things, and it's not like they're taking up multiple days (except Emily's Irish dancing, but I'm talking more about soccer teams that practice every other day or something) Your kids still have plenty of down time and they are doing just fine. They will let you know when they aren't happy with it anymore!

My mother says the same type of thing - "Caroline's in school every day, ballet class, storytime at the library, when does she have downtime?" Uhm, the other 8 hours a day when she's not at school?

[Mary DK]

We have the one activity (sport) per season rule... two reasons, one that we think he's not old enough for more than that especially since he goes to school full time 5 days a week & two b/c these activities are multiple days... one day for practice, one day for scrimage (sp??) plus games on Saturdays.

One question Clare, what are the other kids doing during the time the one is attending his/her activity?

[Karri]

I don't think your kids are overscheduled.

I was having this conversation w/ some friends a few days ago. I think my neighbor overschedules her kids and I don't look down at them for it, but I don't want to live like that, either. I want to maintain a balance of home life and activity...I don't want to eat dinner on the run and live my mommyhood out of a minivan. KWIM?

As for now, I think we plan on one activity at a time/season, just because our kids are so close in age, so all 3 will be in activities at once. If, when they get a bit older, we can handle, 2, we'll assess that at the time.

[Melissa]

I think two is quite reasonable. Of course some sports and activities take more time than others. For example, sports do require practice outside of the sanctioned practice, same with playing an instrument.

As long as the children are interested and excited about going and they aren't exhausted, crying, etc... you know you have a good balance.

[Dennis]

That sounds fine to me Clare. IMO, it's not the number of activities but the frequency and duration of them.

[Clare]

One question Clare, what are the other kids doing during the time the one is attending his/her activity?

Emily and Sam stay home with me while Alex takes Harry to his sports. The boys stay home with him while I take Emily dancing on Saturday. For her after school classes, I drop her off then take the boys home, Alex picks her up on his way home from work :)

[Mary DK]

Okay, see the reason I was asking is that I could see where your Mom might be coming from if you were having to drag all of the kids to each of this activities... but as I see y'all have done a great job at letting that particular kid enjoy his/her activity without having to take away from the other kids time at home/relax time/etc.

I agree, the important thing is that the kids are not having to be forced to go to these activities, they're going b/c they're having fun & enjoying them. I definitely think that you're not overscheduling them.

[Girlo]

I have to agree. :nod:

Kids are all different. Some kids need lots of downtime....others need to get out there and do stuff more often (every day)! I know your kids aren't whining about going to their activities....I know Emily adores her Irish dancing! Just think about if you were to tell her that she couldn't do that any more because her gran thinks she needs more time at home. That's when you'd hear the whining! :nod:

You know what your kids want to do and what they can handle. You've got them involved for all the right reasons. :) You can't just have your kids at home all the time - day in and day out! They'd be absolute freaks! :lol: Just ignore your mom and stay confident in your ability to parent your kids. :hug99:

[indie24]

I agree with everyone else.. I dont think they are over-scheduled at all. I know 3 year olds who are doing stuff everyday.

[sheila]

Another chiming in to say I don't think your kids are overscheduled at all.

If Harry or Emily didn't like one of the activites they were doing (and I mean dislike bordering on hatred) and you were forcing them to participate becaue you thought they needed the activity, then I might reconsider. But these are activities they enjoy and would fight to keep.

[Clare]

Thanks for all your input :)

We've let the kids try lots of different things and choose what they want to do. Em wanted to try gymnastics and didn't like it, so we let her quit. The same with Harry and soccer. I certainly don't agree with forcing kids into sports/activities that they don't want to do. The only thing I insist on is swimming lessons in the summer holidays. Emily grumbles about that sometimes but she secretly loves it :lol: And b/c it's during the school holidays, their other activities are on a break, so it's not in addition to them, it's instead of.

We enforced the two activity rule early on, b/c of the fact that we have 3 kids and we'll spend our life running from one activity to the next :lol: A couple of times Em has been doing 2 things and wanted to try something different, but she had to wait till she finished her commitment to one before swapping. She does also take piano lessons, but that is during school hours so even though it's an extra expense, it's not extra time, so I don't consider it an extra activity, if that makes any sense :lol:

I can see how being on a sports team can take up a lot of time, so if we get to that stage, where there's practice a couple of times a week and a game on the weekend, then we'll probably drop it down to just that one activity. Right now Harry's sports are only learning the skills, not actually competing on teams.

[Kimberly]

We have a 2 activity rule also and it will always stay that way. Ali loves both gymnastics and ballet (now.. long story) and I think she is doing very well with the schedule we have. Once she begins school, she will be expected to keep her grades up or activities will have to be dropped. I think you know your children best and you can determine if something is becoming too much of a strain on them.

[Clare]

I think you know your children best and you can determine if something is becoming too much of a strain on them.

That's exactly right! Thankyou :)

[Clare]

Okay, see the reason I was asking is that I could see where your Mom might be coming from if you were having to drag all of the kids to each of this activities... but as I see y'all have done a great job at letting that particular kid enjoy his/her activity without having to take away from the other kids time at home/relax time/etc.



I agree with this. I watched some reality show the other night about pushy parents and one family in particular was terrible! Their daughter was in cheerleading and they travelled everywhere for her tournaments (or whatever it's called) and the 14yr old brother just had to go along everywhere. He was pulled out of school, he had to get up at 4am to get in the car and didn't even know where he was going. I thought that was shocking!

[Shel]

We have the one activity (sport) per season rule


That's pretty much our rule, at least for the older boys. The kids can do one sport per season, plus as many activities as they want as long as they have nothing going to do on Sundays and they are home at some point everyday to do their homework. When they were younger, it was one sport per season and that's it, until they were old enough to be more responsible for their schedule and their chores at home.