Broke but Happy/ Comfortable but miserable?

[Melissa]

Reed got an e-mail wondering if he wanted to make a deal with the devil. As many of you know he was a recruiter for the Army for four horrible years and he finally got out of that exactly a year ago. It has taken a FULL year for his personality to return somewhat to what he was before he entered recruiting. Physically, his blood pressure is finally down and he is certainly less stressed.

Well, he got an e-mail that basically said, "Hi since you've had recruiter experience and you are currently an E-6 (staff sergeant) we have a proposition for you. We need more E-7 (sergeant first class) and we are willing to promote you a pay grade if you are willing to come back to recruiting." Of course it was barely intelligible Armyspeak. :talking:

So now he has a decision, he can stay with the Army band (which has terrific hours of 6:30a.m. to 3:30p.m. most days), but basic pay, no extras and stay at his current pay grade (unless he is promoted in the next 18 months on the merits of his job in the band), which we are able to live on by the skin of our teeth. But, when he retires I go back to work and by then our cars will be paid off and we'll be rolling in it :rotflmao:

OR, he can sell his soul, work 70-80 hours a week, go up a paygrade (which will give him more money when he receives his pension) get a whole bunch of extras (basically $1000+ extra a month), but who knows where we will have to move to, and as far as we know we may not get station or even company of choice. Then, he'll be a station commander and stressed, and who knows if he'll be allowed to retire in 1 year 4 months, they may make him stay extra.

Would you make a deal with the devil and sell your soul?

[Dennis]

This is one of the biggest no-brainers I've ever seen. If he's even remotely considering taking the job he should have his head examined.

[Kristen]

I just don't think it would be worth it. He's happy now and you guys are making it. He'd never see the family.

[Lynn]

To me money does NOT buy happiness!

The long hours is what would do me in. You'd basically be raising Katie by yourself if Reed is working that many hours. She wouldn't get to see her daddy very often. :cry: Plus if you had to move Katie wouldn't be in the same preschool.

I hope you can figure it out. How does Reed feel about it?

[Melissa]

This is one of the biggest no-brainers I've ever seen. If he's even remotely considering taking the job he should have his head examined.
Actually, I think one of the reasons it crossed his mind was, he could request Colorado which is where we are planning to retire to, and recruiting there is easier, then again that could be :roseglass :silly:

But I agree, he called his mom about it and her first words were, "You aren't even thinking about it are you?"

[Melissa]

Oh here is the other positive about recruiting, Zero risk of deployment. Right now Reed has a very low risk to be deployed, but it could happen.

[Silke]

I don't know. No deployment risk is a plus, but, I think, no job is worth risking your health and personal happiness. If you can make it on the current income, I would give a fat big No.
I have been unhappy in a job, and it's no fun....not just for you but for the family as well.

[marcy]

Have Reed do this test: Go to bed Sunday night, knowing that the next morning you have to wake up and go to the recruiting office the next five days, and everything that entails. If you get a pit in your stomach, then it's not for you.

This is the feeling DH had his last year in the military, and the feeling I get some nights with my job.

Happiness, if I were making your decision, comes before $ (since you are making do now). He has a year and 4 months left to retire? Stay here he is :)

[Jayne]

I agree with everyone else. While the perks sound nice they are not even close to what the change would make in him and your life. I think happiness will make a world of difference and no job is worth being that unhappy

[MrsPeacefrog]

Have we not learned anything from my experience!!??

Our marrige almost ended from bad work situation! we had lots of money, but no marriage, no happiness. NEVER AGAIN!

[sheila]

Stay where he is. You like your husband more than you like money, so it does seem like an easy decision (when you are on the outside looking in).

[Nichole]

Happiness and more time at home, no doubt about it. :nod:

[Karly]

No amount of money is worth his health. I wouldn't do it.

[Cami]

No way, doesn't at all seem worth it. There's only the extra money. Then terrible hours, a job he hates, and uncertainty (about where you'll live and when he can retire).

[mrs.knip]

I wouldn't do it. Stay were he is!

[schwanda]

I agree that no amount of money makes it worthwhile to work at a job you hate!

Amanda

[AmyP]

I'm with everyone else. And I'm another whose marriage suffered quite a bit when I was in a HORRIBLE work situation. I ended up quitting with nothing else lined up and it was totally worth it. I wouldn't take the job if I were Reed.

[bunybomb]

As the wife of someone who does work 65-70 hours a week, the money isn't worth it. You may make more money on paper, but if you work out the hours, my husband is making about $15/hour. We eat dinner at 7pm each night, he is so fried that mundane house/kid/school talk rarely happens. He is asleep in the recliner chair by 9pm almost every night. During the winter he leaves in the dark and comes home in dark. On the very rare occassion he is home before 6pm, it's like spending the whole day with him. I'm grateful for those days but they are few and far between. Our kids suffer because they see him about 1 hour a day. He's gone before they are up and it's off to bed soon after he gets home. Being a single parent is no fun and can cause a lot of resentment. I work everyday on myself to not let those emotions destroy me or our marriage.

Good luck with the decision Melissa.

[Clare]

Definitely not. No amount of money is worth being miserable.

[Girlo]

I have to give a resounding agree with everything that's been posted here, Melissa. :nod: You guys will be just fine and when it's all said and done, you can both look back at your lives and Katie's childhood and smile and know you did the right thing. :)

[Melissa in Italy]

Two questions:
1. Would he have sought this opportunity out if it had not come to him?
2. Will you (as a couple/family) regret this decision?

I can understand the temptation, especially the part about the increased pension. But I don't think the extra money is worth the possible harm to your family.