potty training - pooping...

[Anne]

I need some advice. We have pee training down. The only accidents are during nap or when she poops. We are working on the poop part now. She knows when she needs to poop because she goes and hides. And then comes and tells me. She says she is scared of pooping on the potty and I am not sure how to handle this. She will be three in a week. I know she is in the normal range for potty training still.

We currently have a reward system that she knows forward and backwards. One poop we go out for ice cream (she choose this) right then (unless it happens at school and then it will be right after school), five poops she gets a Little People airplane that is sitting in plain sight. I try catching her when she has to go and she just holds it.

The issue.... School is pushing for her to get poop trained. I am not overly happy with this but they can not move her into the room she needs to be in until she is pooping in the potty. The only reason I really would like to see her at that point right now is that she is not being challenged in the room she is in. They have her with 2-2.5 year olds and she does not have much independence when it comes to art and such, everything is lined out and they (the teachers) do the work for the most part (for instance spread the glue... Emma is used to having her own glue). She is much more advanced than the other kids in that room. They all agree she is smart and should not be there, that she needs to be up in the 3 yo preschool room and I finally, just today, got the word they will move her once she is pooping in the potty.

They want to give her 2-3 weeks to work on this. They are buying gifts as well for when she poops and then want her to start visiting the new room to see how cool it is and how much there is to do. If she has an accident she goes back to the toddler room. If she only pooped early in the morning or at night we would not have a problem, but she usually poops at least once, some days twice at school.

Worst case scenerio, because I asked, if she does not start, I can see if her ped will write a note saying she has a "disability" and they can move her up. This all comes down to licensing. I hate the word because she is still in the normal range for not being able to but in someways I see it can be listed as that since because of their "rules" it is holding her back from what she needs.

Any advice?

[Clare]

We're in the same boat right now.Sam is pee trained but refuses to poo on the toilet. He puts on a pullup himself and poops in it then comes and tells me. I'm not sure how to get past it.

I wouldn't be comfortable with school trying to force her to toilet train before she's ready. What do they do when she needs to poo now? I think that's a ridiculous rule, in reality how many 3 year olds are totally toilet trained? :disbelief

Luckily (or not) for us, Sam will just hold it till he gets home. As far as daycare is concerned, he is fully trained b/c he never has any accidents there. As soon as he gets home though, he either poops in his pants or in a pullup :pullhair:

Sorry that I don't have any advice, only empathy.

[TtownAnne]

Hmmmmm. Have you asked her why she is afraid? What does she say? Caroline always said she was afraid that she was going to fall in, which is when we got one of those seats that makes the opening more their size, kwim? Maybe you could make a big deal of the poop going away - when she goes in a pullup, instead of throwing the pullup in a diaper genie or trash or whatever, dump it in the toilet, make a big deal of waving goodbye, etc. :dunno:

[Anne]

She does not even need the pull up. She will poop right into her undies. And her ped said that was alright and not to even offer a pull up. The ped said not to be concerned until 3.5. When she goes in her pull up, I do dump it in the toliet and have her flush.

If it were not for school I really would not care but I do not want her "held back" because of this. It all comes down to licensing and whether they can change diapers or deal with a bunch of accidents in certain rooms. The "toliet training" room really is geared for like 2-2.5 in their curriculum and they said Emma is just surpassing everything. I do not think this is fair to her.

My thinking on why she is scared... She has pooped in the potty once... About 6 months ago and I think it was an accident but I also think she might have been constipated and it hurt? She has no problem at home peeing (with a smaller seat on top), school has smaller toliets that are kid size and she has no problem peeing in public.

I really hope that by just even posting this, she will prove me wrong and start pooping in the potty. We did not have one yesterday so I am going to try this morning and see if we can do it. I did take the seat of the toliet and recreate the little potty to see if that helps.

[TtownAnne]

That constipation could have done it - what about feeding her up with some fiber and grape juice and the like to make things a little "easier", and then heaping on the praise?

[Darcy]

I just wanted to add that we're in the same boat, too. It stinks that so many of us are in the same situation, but it does make me feel better that we're not the only ones dealing with this. And Riley is like Sam in that she'll hold it until she gets home and I have a pullup on her (I'm still putting her in one for nap and bed). There's been quite a few times where she wakes up from her nap telling me she's pooped. It's quite frustrating. And we've tried the reward system. Even my dad's tried to help out with rewarding her. I've told her that big people poop in the potty, and she knows that. Yet she just doesn't do it. She did it once about two months ago, and I made a big deal about it (we went for ice cream and called the grandparents), but she doesn't want to do it again. :dunno:

I'm sorry that daycare is pressuring you and Emma so much to get her poop trained. And I hope you're right in by posting this, she'll prove you wrong. :hug99:

[Anne]

The poops have really softened up. When we realized that we started really focusing on her diet at home. We talk up the prizes, get really excited. I talk about the new room at school and how cool it is. She will get to play on the big play ground, get her own glue bottle, learn to write her name... and she get so excited and says she wants to do it until it is time to poop. She has sat on the potty just crying.

I wish she would hold it until she got home. Then they would move her as long as there were no accidents at home... or I wish she would just poop at a certain time and it might make it a little easier as well.

I think day cares push it so early because once they are out of diapers and trained, the ratio can go up and they can offer larger class sizes and make more money.

And thank you for the posts because I was pretty sure I was not the only one in this boat.

[magoo]

Anna pooped in her undies for a long time after she was peeing in the toilet regularly. We tried different stuff, but I think the only thing that worked was time. It was incredilbly frustraing at the time.

[Anne]

Ok, I just had to come post the little ditty Emma and I have been doing for the last hour... "Emma went poop in the potty! Emma went poop in the potty!" :bliss: :bliss: :bliss: :bliss:

Only one time so we will see what happens tomorrow at school. We did go right out for ice cream and she is just beaming.

[Dennis]

That's great!