At what age should you introduce the concept of "not talking to strangers"? Alex is SO friendly to everyone. Just walking through target he will say good morning/hi!/how are you/what are you doing? to EVERYONE. If they start talking to him he'll tell them what he's done that day or what he's going to do. I don't want him to necessarily be afraid to talk to people and be friendly, because that's part of his great personality. But I also don't want him to chat up the wrong person. Of course, I'm always right there with him, but you never know what could happen.

So, how do you handle your talkative, friendly child?

Rebekah's 3-yr preschool class did alot with not talking to strangers towards the end of the year. So she didn't really learn that until she turned 4.

They taught her not to talk to anyone unless her parents talked to them first. Now she will see someone she wants to talk to and she'll ask if they are a stranger and then tell me to go talk to them so she can talk to them!

I think an important thing to remember is discussed in this book I'm reading, recommended by Sheila and some others Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. He says not to tell kids "don't talk to strangers" because you are showing them how to violate that rule every day by talking to the cashier at the store, or the man in line behind you at McDonald's, etc.

So far, I've just said that they shouldn't talk to people out in public unless I'm with them and say it's ok. So on our random trip to Target or wherever, they can say hi to people and talk to the cashier, etc. I haven't told them about watching the kinds of things they say, though, and probably should. I am a little afraid about the things they might tell people, especially out where anyone can overhear the conversation.

Something else to think about is if they get lost, you want them to know they can go up to an adult and ask for help.

Also, there is a much higher risk of them being kidnapped by someone they know than a stranger.

I think an important thing to remember is discussed in this book I'm reading, recommended by Sheila and some others Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. He says not to tell kids "don't talk to strangers" because you are showing them how to violate that rule every day by talking to the cashier at the store, or the man in line behind you at McDonald's, etc.

I would suggest that every parent read this book. IT IS SO EYE OPENING! And gives a whole new reason why they should be allowed to talk to strangers :)

I let Alex talk to whomever in stores/restaurants. I'm right there. Even if I did say not to talk to strangers, she wouldn't fully understand because of the exceptions listed here...

When she gets a bit older we'll talk about how to decide who to talk to...

I think the word "stranger" is a bit confusing to a child. Kalyssa used to say "well that lady doesn't look like a stranger but that man does" and stuff like that. Kids assume a "stranger" is a bad or mean person. It's also confusing to tell them that some people are bad because they think they can tell by looking. I try to explain that most people are nice but any bad people usually appear nice and friendly as well because if they appeared mean, no kid would ever go with them.

I tried to explain that if I am with her, it's ok to talk to people for a minute or so but she should never, ever go anywhere with anyone or tell them things like her address. At this point, I worry more for the person whose ear she is chatting off. :lol: We do the drill "what if she tells you she has a baby kitten in her car, would you go see it?" and "if he told you he'd give you a whole bag of candy if you just walk a few steps away"...although I think in most cases the kids end up doing what you've taught them not to anyway so you just have to stay aware and be there to protect them. As Dennis said, stranger abduction really isn't common.

Aidan not only talks to strangers, but invites them to our house. Cute, yes. But it's getting scary now that he knows our full address. :owow: Usually, it's kids and their moms. But geez - you never know who will overhear that. I keep reminding him to not go so far, but to be friendly.

Aidan also did a stranger course at school so we get a lot of quetions on strangers. He's more aware, but it hasn't stifled him.