Wwyd?

[Hannabanana]

My step-brother flew off to some island and got married to a girl who none of us had met, nevermind knew about and when he emailed the pics two weeks later, we were all like "oh my god! she's pregnant!" (this was back in April)

Fast forward to this week when we get an e-vite to a party that they're hosting to celebrate their wedding (in their own home) and they have included a link for gift registry they've filled out.

This is her 1st, his 2nd, no children until now for either of them.

I'm a little peeved about the e-vite with the registry attached. I feel like it's such an assumption. I have no problem buying them baby gifts but not a $139 teapot (which they've got on the list among other things).

WWYD?

[Alyssa]

I'd like to say that I would not give them a gift b/c the whole evite thing with a registry is tacky and presumptive...but I know I would end up getting something, albeit smaller than I would if they'd gone more of a traditional route. (Not that I'm against the elopement, but then hosting your own party and including registry information is not on my cool list. :) )

[Dennis]

I agree with Alyssa, I'd just get them something really inexpensive.

[Melissa in Italy]

I 2nd Dennis. And I also think invitations (paper or electronic) with registries enclosed/attached are tacky and don't deserve a gift. But I usually give/send something small anyway, something I've picked out on my own that's not on the registry. I guess it's my own little form of rebellion.

[Clare]

I 2nd Dennis. And I also think invitations (paper or electronic) with registries enclosed/attached are tacky and don't deserve a gift. But I usually give/send something small anyway, something I've picked out on my own that's not on the registry. I guess it's my own little form of rebellion.

We included registry information with our wedding invitations. As far as I'm concerned, it's practical not tacky. We only had 2 guests perform their own little form of rebellion and give us something that wasn't on our registry Both of those gifts sit in a cupboard collecting dust while everything that we had on our registry is used often. :)

To answer the question, I don't really see the problem. I wouldn't buy anyone a $139 teapot, but would choose something less expensive and more practical off their registry.

[Lissa]

We only had 2 guests perform their own little form of rebellion and give us something that wasn't on our registry

Clare, you think your guest were rebelling because they didn't buy a gift from the registry or was there something else to the story?

I don't see a registry as a "you MUST buy us a gift from this list." Instead, I see it as a "Here are some things we like. Feel free to purchase one of these or use this as a guide to help you pick a gift if you decide to gift us." We loved all of our gifts and some of our favorites were gems friends gave us that were not on the registry. :)

[Lissa]

Oops, I need to answer the original question. It seems like they are having the party to get the gifts.... I'd buy a nice but not expensive gift for them.

[Bridget]

Anymore including a gift registry with invitations is becoming pretty common, so I don't even give it a thought. We didn't elope, but we did marry in Las Vegas and held our own reception later. We didn't want to register, but people practically went postal when we told them we told them that, so we did. :lol:

Anyhoo... I digress. :lol: Based on the informality of receiving an evite, most people will probably say go for something less expensive than you'd normally send. As for me, I'd probably spend the same as at any other wedding or reception. That's just my way.

Do what feels right for you. Some people like to send gifts from registries, and some don't! Just don't send them a singing Billy Bass, even if it IS on their registry (I saw that once :doh: ). :lol: Good luck!

[Clare]

Clare, you think your guest were rebelling because they didn't buy a gift from the registry or was there something else to the story?



That was in response to Melissa's comment that she rebels by ignoring the registry.

[Lissa]

Clare, ah ha.... :) Thanks for clearing that up for me!

[Alyssa]

But I usually give/send something small anyway, something I've picked out on my own that's not on the registry. I guess it's my own little form of rebellion.I would probably do this too. :nod:

It doesn't bother me to have someone throwing the shower put in a registry card into the invitation mailer because I do see that as practical...since if one isn't included, I ask about it in the RSVP process or I look online...there aren't *that* many places where people register. But I don't personally find it acceptable to put in registry information into the wedding invitation, which is being sent by the couple (even if it comes from the parents address).

(Now, that said...that is here where showers are totally the norm. If you weren't having a shower ahead of time, I could see it a little differently. And yes, this comment is directed at my friend Clare. :) )

[Clare]

(Now, that said...that is here where showers are totally the norm. If you weren't having a shower ahead of time, I could see it a little differently. And yes, this comment is directed at my friend Clare. :) )

Aww I feel so special :) :lol: No we don't have showers here. Regsitry information included with the wedding invitation is totally normal and totally acceptable. I was a little put out before that the practice was labelled tacky. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm definitely not tacky.

[Hannabanana]

We went to my parents house on the weekend and they had the registry printed out for all of us :rolleyes: They asked each of my siblings and I if we needed a copy ... "uh ... hell no!"

I guess what burns me the most about this situation is that he was married just 6 years ago and decided to walk away from that marriage (and all the stuff that they accumulated together) and my sister is getting married at the end of Sept and they will have had their baby two weeks prior (supposedly) and his wife is refusing to come to our family event. Now ... I know that being a first time mother can leave you a little frazzled but PULEEASE! It's the best time in the world to go somewhere .. all the baby will do is sleep and eat. (My step-sister is due at the same time and is telling us that she won't miss the wedding for anything).
<sigh>

Why can't I have a normal family!?! :lol:

[Alyssa]

We went to my parents house on the weekend and they had the registry printed out for all of us :rolleyes: They asked each of my siblings and I if we needed a copy ... "uh ... hell no!"
Alright. That wins the Tacky Award of the Year. :slap:

[Melissa in Italy]

Perhaps I should clarify. I think it's appropriate to include information on where you are registered, just not an entire list of what you're registered for.

[Clare]

Perhaps I should clarify. I think it's appropriate to include information on where you are registered, just not an entire list of what you're registered for.

Aha, I misunderstood. Here we include a registry card with the information only and it's stated that it's optional. I've never seen an invitation with the whole registry list :dunno:

We went to my parents house on the weekend and they had the registry printed out for all of us :rolleyes: They asked each of my siblings and I if we needed a copy ... "uh ... hell no!"


It does sound like they're just lobbying for gifts :rolleyes:

[Hannabanana]

Yes, but this is my step-mother who's doing this now. Anything to get more for her kids.

As a side note, she is angry with me right now because on my daughters 5th bday (July 22nd), I have also planned to have a surprise cake for my dad who will be turning 70 five days before Hanna. She's angry that she's planned this "BIG" (30 people) surprise party for my dad three days before his actual bday at their house ... she doesn't understand that the man deserves two cakes!!! :rolleyes: One for celebrate being alive after living with her all these years and another to eat the cake that she never lets him enjoy! :lol: I KNOW that he will be tickled pink that we've thought of him and every year for Hanna's party, he comes and really enjoys talking with all our friends so it won't be a strange thing for our friends to want to celebrate his bday which I'm very honored by.

So back to the evite ... I think that I'll go buy them something at Winners or Homesense (a store here where you can typically find one of an item but rarely two) so it will be an item that they won't get from their registry.
My step-mother keeps asking me if we're going to the wedding "party" but I'm just so not into it!!

[Melissa in Italy]

Aha, I misunderstood. Here we include a registry card with the information only and it's stated that it's optional. I've never seen an invitation with the whole registry list.

I have received one. I was quite appalled.