A moving poll

[JenM]

For lack of a better area to post this... I'll put it here. Feel free to move it if you need to.

My dilemma... DH and I are DEFINITELY moving... the question is where... Right now we live in East Brunswick, NJ... We live on a very busy street and in a neighborhood with lots and lots of traffic... a high population... good schools... but we have literally NO family or friends here in this town... The closest family is about an hour away.

We are basically considering two choices and they are as different as can be!

1) Move out to Long Island to be closer to family/friends. It is a LOT more expensive out there... so we would only be able to afford a house about the same as we have now. If we get a house a little bit nicer/newer then I would probably HAVE to go back to work... at least part time. Long Island is very populated.. probably more so than where we are now... so traffic and such will be hard. BUT, there will be LOTS of diversions available to pick from... lots of classes to enroll the kids in... things to do, etc... The schools in the areas we are looking are very very good. The benefits... We would have two siblings, two single friends, one couple friends with kids, and the IL's nearby. That would give us more family support for when we have more kids (I can see paying my SIL to babysit here and there, which is not an option now)... and I already mentioned some other "good" things.

2) Move out to Hunterdon County NJ where we can buy over 5 acres of land with a bigger house... much less expensive... I definitely wouldn't "have" to work (though I may WANT to part time anyway eventually)... we could probably afford a housekeeper once a week at least... The schools are still pretty good (though probably not as good) and I worry that there won't be many options for diversions and things like that. SHOULD be a lot less traffic as it's less populated... And the move would take us farther away from his family on Long Island... but probably only by an additional 30 minutes... so the amount of time we get to see them would probably stay the same.

Sooooo... weigh in and help me make up my mind!

[Dennis]

How would each affect DH's commute?

[JenM]

We are fortunate.. that's a non- issue b/c he works from home :) Though we do have to make sure the neighborhood has a high speed internet access.

[gulp!]

Selfishly, I chose Hunterdon County, b/c it's still close to my IL's (in fact my BIL lives in that county.) I want to be able to see you when I go to NJ!! :)

I think you need to weigh each benefit to see which is more important to you. Is it most important to be close to your family? Most important that you have the option to be a SAHM (or work only b/c you *want* to?) Weighting the pros and cons can help you make the decision.

FYI, I also have a bunch of friends who grew up in HC- and they're all very intelligent people. So the schools must be decent enough! :lol:

[JenM]

:lol: Stef! You crack me up!

[~Tara~]

I wont vote since Jen already knows what I am gonna say :lol: However, I noticed that you didn't have a selection for "MOVE TO MORRIS COUNTY TO LIVE NEXT TO TARA, PAUL AND ABBY!"

Hmmmm....its gotta be cheaper than Long Island ;)

Its a quality of life issue - like Stef said - what is most important to you. The pro/con list is definitely helpful in make this important decision.

[Leslie]

I see two big issues.
1. Being able to be a SAHM.
2. Being near family and lots of support.

Are you willing to go back to work and would it make you happy? Would it cause you to be resentful? I know for me, I like to work. I like having a place I can just be with adults all day. And Ian loves his daycare buddies.

Do you really want to be so close to your family? I know for me, it's a blessing and a curse. You get the support, but you also have to take a lot of time out of your weekends to see them all.

If it were me, I would live in Long Island, go back to work and live near family. That's pretty much what we have done. We live in an expensive area where it's pretty tough to live off one income. But there's tons to do here, all of our family is here. And yeah, our house is going to be way smaller than what we could have if we lived in the boonies. But that's a sacrifice I decided was worth it for me. You have to decide for yourself what is worth sacrificing.

[JenM]

Leslie, you are right... those are the two biggest issues for me. For DH, he is more concerned about the size house, taxes, and how much land we can afford. In both cases... we are really leaning toward Hunterdon now. We'll be going out there to look around this weekend. Now I feel guilty b/c we got MIL's hopes up... she's been looking out on the island for us... and we'll probably end up in Hunterdon. It's really a financial thing... affordability. IF we could find what we want out there we would definitely make that move... but compared to the land and houses in Hunterdon... it just isn't going to happen.

Thanks to everyone for their input! :)

PS... Tara... Stating what I know to be obvious to you... but not a word to MIL, k? We'll tell her when we KNOW what we will do... probably still months away. Gotta get some bites on this house, first, to know what kind of money we really have to spend ;)

[~Tara~]

Jen ~ Absolutely - you know I wouldn't say anything to anyone. It's YOUR news to share anyhow. Good luck with the house hunting - and let us know if you wanna drop off the girls on the way out there if it gets too much to have them in tow.