? for those with tattoos and children..

[LISA]

Heck even if you don't have kids I need your thoughts..

How would you feel if your child came to you at age 16 and asked your permission for a tattoo, what would your response be?

I don't have a tattoo so I want to know if I'm being a square :lol:

[Jayne]

I don't have a tattoo but to me I would say no. There is a reason that your supposed to be 18 to get a tattoo (at least her you are) and I think that if my child wanted one I would ask that they wait until 18 and then if they still wanted one I know I couldn't say no but I would be supportive of what ever choice they made.

[Lynn]

I'm not sure (yet) how I'd feel. I think I'd do the whole, "Well gee...that's awfully permanent" thing. And I think it depends on where they were planning on getting the tat. If it's somewhere hidden, like the hip or on a foot I might be okay with it. But something huge would bother me I think.

Keith has a really ugly looking tatoo on his thigh, right above the knee. It's an eye ball with a star around it. Aaron sees it and says, "Daddy's friend drew on him with a marker" :lol:

[Jen]

Ummm, "NO"! I don't think you should get something that permanant until you are over 18. That's just me. I think something you get at 16 will probably look awfully silly when you are 40.

I don't know how many kids get tatoos these days, but with the age of parents buying 'breasts' for their daughters for high school graduation and such, it might be more common.

I don't think it's the most horrible thing a kid could do (and I'm sure they do much worse) but I personally would not give my permission for something like that. I would talk it over and explain my reasons and hear the child's concerns but I would ultimately say no. At least that's what I think at this point.

[LISA]

Cass wants to get her father initials ( he died almost 3 yrs ago) on the back of her neck?? I feel bad telling her no when it's something that "means" something to her but on the other hand it's a tattoo! I don't want her getting one but when it comes down to it it's her body..

[Lynn]

Why on her neck? Does she want it to be huge and seen all the time?

And while tatoos give me the creeps, I think it's sweet that she wants his initials.

[Jen]

That is at least a more mature decision than "princess" across the small of their back or something. I can see where it has meaning and is important to her. She sounds responsible but I would tell her that if it means something now, it will still have deep meaning to her in a few more years. Do you think her father would have approved?

If she has longer hair and it's not something that would show much, maybe you could compromise and let her wait another year to be sure that's what she wants. If it was small enough to get removed later in life if that's what she wanted, that might be another consideration.

[LISA]

she said she wants it on the back of her neck(hairline) and it woud be a little bigger than thumbnail..that was her reasoning..it would be so small and no one but her would see it :dunno:

[LISA]

Do you think her father would have approved?



He had a tattoo on his arm and he told me he regretted it, I did tell her that but I don't think it made much difference.

[Jen]

I would let her know that you understand it is important to her but perhaps she could get a bracelet or necklace with his initials to wear for another year or so until you are comfortable with the decision. My mom wears a necklace that reminds her of her father.

It is still up to you at this point because she is not an adult. I give her credit for making a mature choice with the subject matter and it sounds as if she wants to be descreet about it so those are all positive points but if you are not comfortable with it, she should also respect your wishes.

[Dawnie]

I have two tattoos and my plan is to have my kids wait until they are at least 18 should they want one. I'm definitely going to talk to them about what they get and where they put it.

Lisa, are you totally against the idea of the tattoo all together or the location that she wants it? If it's the location I would talk to her about putting it elsewhere so it can't be seen as much and easily covered up for any future profession she might have that it wouldn't look appropriate for.

[Alyson]

Lisa would she go for putting it somewhere other than her neck? Maybe the small of her back or on her hip, somewhere that it really won't show unless intended? When I hear 'back of the neck' I just constantly think of this girl I used to work with and the martini glass she had on the back of her neck, and how horrible it will look on the day she gets married (if she wears her hair up)....
That is really sweet thought that it is his initials! I bet it almost makes you want to say yes.
I also agree that if it means alot to her now, it will mean even more in a year or two. Some time to think it over could always do her good. Good luck!!
I have a tattoo on the top of my right foot. I got it when I was 20, it's a hibiscus flower and I like it... I think that I always will because it's not too big and it's not ugly.

[Shanna]

In your situation, yes. I think I would allow her to get the tattoo. But *ONLY* after the following. I would have them get a henna-type temporary tat in the place that she wants it. Require her to leave it there for as long as it stays. Have her wait a week (or longer) and then talk about it. If the location is a problem (and if I'm reading the size/positioning she is requesting correctly, it seems very small and un-noticeable), I would do the same process in the newly compromised location. If, after that, she still wants to do it, I would let her. I think that her reasoning and what she wants is a very sweet thing. I also think she she has a maturity that alot of kids her age don't have (just judging that on posts here and there over the past few years from you :nod: ). It's a tough decision and one that I don't look forward to making, but in the end, even if you say no, she may do it anyway, KWIM?

[Shanna]

Oh, and I have 2 tats and a plethora of piercings :blush1:

[letmag]

I have a tattoo close the small of my back, it's not visible unless I wear something that reveals it, which is hardly ever. I don't even wear bikinis. :noqueno:

If my daughter would want one, I'd definitely tell her to wait until she is older because it's something that you have to live with forever pretty much. And I would try and talk her into getting it somewhere very private and hidden because I don't personally think it looks very nice when you have to dress up in formals and you have a huge tattoo peeking out and some people tend to strereo type people sometimes because they have tattoos and it just may not look right when trying to present yourself in an interview...etc.

[Nichole]

I think I'd have her wait, too. I like the idea of a necklace or bracelet for the interim and then she can decide if she still wants it when she's old enough. I'd caution against the back of her neck though, too. But I'm one who doesn't like to see tattoos, and would worry that she might regret the location some day when trying to get a job or get dressed up. :dunno:

[redhairedgirl]

In your situation, yes. I think I would allow her to get the tattoo. But *ONLY* after the following. I would have them get a henna-type temporary tat in the place that she wants it. Require her to leave it there for as long as it stays. Have her wait a week (or longer) and then talk about it. If the location is a problem (and if I'm reading the size/positioning she is requesting correctly, it seems very small and un-noticeable), I would do the same process in the newly compromised location. If, after that, she still wants to do it, I would let her. I think that her reasoning and what she wants is a very sweet thing. I also think she she has a maturity that alot of kids her age don't have (just judging that on posts here and there over the past few years from you :nod: ). It's a tough decision and one that I don't look forward to making, but in the end, even if you say no, she may do it anyway, KWIM?


I like Shanna's reasoning.

I have a tattoo and before I rushed to the tattoo parlor, I waited for 9 months to make sure that I was absolutely okay with the decision to get one. Mine is a celtic knot in the small of my back and it's never really seen. Half the time I forget it is really there.
I don't know that I would want my Dad's initials on my frontal hip though. Might make for some awkward conversations when she is dating. :blush:

A friend of mine has a tattoo on her toe. She said she wanted it somewhere that it could be covered, but that most people wouldn't notice - but she knew it would be there.

Jewelry with his initials - like a bracelet would be a nice compromise.

[Karri]

I agree with Jen - I would say this same thing -
I would let her know that you understand it is important to her but perhaps she could get a bracelet or necklace with his initials to wear ...
....until she is 18 and has the right to do whatever she pleases.

IMO, a tattoo is just way to permanant of something for a teenager to be making that decision. I know way too many people who regret the decision of where they got theirs done (a friend who has hers just above her breast and had to find a wedding dress to cover it, and another whose flight attendant job requires her to wear pants b/c her ankle tat shows through her hoisery, etc).
I just think its not a parent's decision to make. Its a decision that an ADULT...the person getting the tat... should make.

[Clare]

Ugh, I hate tattoos :dead: I'm dreading this scenario already!

You should PM Melissa, she went through this with Jen when she was 15 or 16, I think (or maybe it was body piercing, I don't remember exactly). I believe that she used reverse pyschology and Jen decided against it. Anyway, she's a good one to give advice about dealing with teenagers :)

[Melissa]

In your situation, yes. I think I would allow her to get the tattoo. But *ONLY* after the following. I would have them get a henna-type temporary tat in the place that she wants it. Require her to leave it there for as long as it stays. Have her wait a week (or longer) and then talk about it. If the location is a problem (and if I'm reading the size/positioning she is requesting correctly, it seems very small and un-noticeable), I would do the same process in the newly compromised location. If, after that, she still wants to do it, I would let her. I think that her reasoning and what she wants is a very sweet thing. I also think she she has a maturity that alot of kids her age don't have (just judging that on posts here and there over the past few years from you :nod: ). It's a tough decision and one that I don't look forward to making, but in the end, even if you say no, she may do it anyway, KWIM?
I agree totally (and I'm shocked that I do!).

[sheila]

You should PM Melissa, she went through this with Jen when she was 15 or 16, I think (or maybe it was body piercing, I don't remember exactly). I believe that she used reverse pyschology and Jen decided against it. Anyway, she's a good one to give advice about dealing with teenagers :)

:lol: I was thinking about Melissa, too. I think Jen wanted a navel piercing and she asked her to talk to a relative who had one because it really hurt to get one.

[Theresa]

I would make her wait until she's 18 and even then I would discourage her from getting her neck done. My cousin had some Chinese symbol done on the back of her neck and she said it was the worst pain she ever felt (and she's had almost everything tatooed or pierced). Also, it could put her at a disadvantage when it comes to careers.

I like the idea of jewelry with his initials. That seems like a nice compromise.

[ykmama]

I love the idea of testing the waters with a henna tat, or a necklace or bracelet, until she's a bit older. Although I do think that she has probally put alot of thought into the tat and it is something that means alot to her, so its not likely that shes going to regret the tat, or decide not to get it. I have found with my tats that both have some meaning to me and are not something I regret now, but I was also 19 when I got my first and I had 4 years to think about it before I had the ink painfully scarred into my skin. (I figured at 19 if my mom kicked me out for getting it I was old enough to live on my own!). Ultimately if this is something she really wants whats a couple of years to think long and hard about it, get the design figured out, placement and then research tat artists in your area. Before anyone lays ink on her skin she should see their work, not just what they have in their book either, as the book only represents what they want in their portfolio. Most artists are walking portfolios, as they started off doing a lot of work on themselves, and some dont mind if you watch their work for a while to ensure that its something you want to do, and you are confident they will do a good job. The good news is if she gets it and has to cover it up for anything, they now make skin patches and other gadgets for a temp. coverup.

[MrsPeacefrog]

location location location, I guess that's what it's all about. I got a tattoo at 17 and yes there definately is a reason why teenagers shouldn't make a decision on that!. I regret my location, but I don't regret the tattoo.

And just for the record (my tattoo is on my the tip of my shoulder/upperarm) I have NEVER worried or cared about it when it concerned going for jobs or getting married, it's part of me and who I am and I don't give two shits about wether someone thinks I would look tacky on my wedding day, because frankly it is MY wedding day and it's who I am (not that I had my tattoo showing but that was the style of dress, no that I did that on purpose). okay I feel better now I have said that. And also for the record I have never NOT gotten a job because I have a tattoo.

Anyway, I think you have gotten some great advice so far, and ultimately it is your decision. I don't think that a blanket decision can be made because every teen is different. You know your teen best. And I have faith that you will make the right decision for yours! Good luck with it :hug99:

[schwanda]

The only thing I would add to this discussion (because I think you've had good advice already) is this... There is a definite risk of contracting hepatitis C from a tattoo parlor. Hepatitis C is much more contagious than HIV and is a very serious disease. That would be a serious concern of mine if one of my children wanted a tattoo. If she is going to get a tattoo, I would make sure the tattoo place has a very good way to sterilize any instruments. Tattoo parlors are one way that hepatitis C is spread. I don't mean to scare anyone and I think the chances of getting hep C are low but it is a serious thing to think about.

Amanda

[Bev]

I second what Amanda said. Check that they are pouring the ink into a teeny container and using that for the tattoo and adding ink as necessary and then not pouring the leftover back into the big bottle of ink. Make sure they have an autoclave or something for sterilization.

Also, on the neck is very con-like in my opinion. Almost every con has a tattoo on his neck. :dead:

I would try to convince her with the jewellry too but failing that I like Shanna's idea. If you think she is going to defy you and do it anyway make sure she has the information Amanda provided regarding Hep C. Hep C sucks the big one. She might want to try Shanna's idea anyway and keep changing the location if she can get a do it yourself henna kit. Don't they make those?

Good luck! :)

[magoo]

I actually don't mind the idea of the neck at the hairline. There was a girl who used to sit in front of me in my university classes who had one at the hairline about half way between the back of her neck and her ear. It was a little four leaf clover, and I thought it was cool how she could have her hair up and it would show (but only if you're looking right at the back of her head) or wear her hair down and it was hidden. Perhaps I've been watching too much Miami Ink, but I would consider letting her do it. I do like the idea of initial jewlery for the next two years, and then once she's 18 she can mark the 5th anniversary of his death with a tattoo if she wants to.

[Allen]

What is the point in getting a tatoo if is going to be hidden?

[Bev]

You're right Sarah. I'm sure at the hairline it wouldn't be too bad. :nod: I'm biased because I'm thinking of all these massive tattoos of initials or names (usually Miss Right Now) on the back of the neck.

I also know a con who had a giant were-bat at the front of his neck. I remember seeing him the first time after he had it done. I walked in his tattoo parlor and thought he was wearing a turtleneck. :lol: Incidentally if I was ever going to get a tattoo, that would be someone I would get it from. I've seen his work and I've seen him working and him I would trust, even though he was (is?) a con.

[Shanna]

I've seriously considered a hairline tat as well. I wanted to get all three of my kids' names in script at my hairline (really really small). I don't think there is anything wrong with them as they aren't very noticeable (especially on dark-headed people).

I hope you and Cass have been able to talk things through a bit :) I'm curious on how this turns out. :blush1:

[TtownAnne]

My father wants to get a bar code tattooed on his neck and have the numbers either be his birthdate or his social security number. :silly:

[Brandi Jo]

I have a tattoo a tattoo on the back of my neck...and I'm not a degenerate, nor a con :lol:

That being said....I think I would probably let her do it. Since it is something so personal and likely not something she is going to regret I don't see a problem with it. Then again, I had a mom who would have let me do something like that.
I think that it's definately something that you and Cass are going to have to sit down and have a long discussion about.

[bunybomb]

I regret my location, but I don't regret the tattoo.

I'm the same, love the tat, hate where I put it. It's very low on my belly and now my belly is very low too. :lol:

I'd make her wait until she is 18. I agree that allowing a henna type tattoo would be ok for her now. Then when she is a legal adult, she can decide if it's still right.

[kim_in_wi]

I have 3 tattoos and don't plan on stopping there. If my daughter comes to me, wanting to get one, I feel like I can't really say no, but I would say not until she turns 18!

[LISA]

Bumping this up..

Thanks everyone for your suggestions! I discussed the henna idea with her and she likes it but say's if I'm willing to go "that far" why not the real thing :dunno:
She stopped asking for a while and now the subject is back .. her friend made a "demo" of the initials and she cut it out and stuck it onto the back of her neck and I say it's too big
http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j104/lisaincanada/th_100_6892.jpg

She say's she can reduce it, here is the kicker, Tony is agreeing with her and has told her um way to be helpful :rolleyes: I really am torn, I know she really wants to get one and is going to end up getting one no matter what..am I a bad mom for saying no since it is for her dad??

[Shanna]

Make her wear the demo around then :biggrin:

[LISA]

:lol:

[Shanna]

There is a huge difference between a henna tat and a "real" one. I think you're being very reasonable with her about the whole thing, though :dunno: I would try the henna option one more time, though. And, I think it is a little big, personally :dunno: especially for the placement :nod: I would say no larger than a dime - nickel at MOST :nod:

[magoo]

I doubt they'd be able to do it too small. The lines kind of get thicker as they age, and it would just turn into a big blob. I'm not loving it at the back of the neck. :dunno:

[Shanna]

I doubt they'd be able to do it too small. The lines kind of get thicker as they age, and it would just turn into a big blob. I'm not loving it at the back of the neck. :dunno:

Maybe she just needs to use the first initial :nod: Or a symbol :dunno: I'm just not liking the size where she is wanting it to go, especially after seeing it. I have a friend that has a small blue star there and it is dime size - if that - and it looks adorable :nod:

[Melissa in Italy]

My vote is 18. In my personal experience, though, I was 27 when I got my tattoo and I don't think I would have made a good decision at a younger age. (And even still, I wish I had gotten mine a little bigger but I was afraid of it showing when I didn't want it to. It still shows occassionally so bigger wouldn't really have made much of a difference.)

[LISA]

I told her that I would prefer if she does get it that it be no bigger than a thumb nail, but I don't know how pheasable that is :dunno: and sure enough I go to the massage place yesterday( doc's office) and the receptionist has this big honking tat on her neck :errr: it creeped me out, I think it was a dragon, it came up from the back of her shirt and when she turned her head I saw the rest of it..not Klassy at all imo for a doc's office but I guess you can't/shouldn't judge a book...