Anyone else adopting?

[CICI]

I was just wondering if anyone else was thinking about, in the process of or who has completed the adoption process.

DH and I are in the earlier stages of the adoption process. We have talked about it for almost two years now but had a hard time giving up the idea of having a biological child. I have stage II endometriosis, ovarian cyst {not PCOS}, I have had fibroids, polyps and a uterine septum removed as well. After several attempts with Clomid and one IUI, I could never get to the point of doing anymore because I kept getting hyperstimulated with the clomid. Because of that we decided it would be too risky to try injectibles with IUI or IVF. Although our new RE seems to think we will be sucessful with IVF I just don't want to chance getting hyperstimulated again. It was so bad a couple of times that my ovaries were actually touching and I was put on BCP and bed rest. I had to promise not to do anything other than get up to use the restroom and shower or they would have put me in the hospital. One cycle that it happened on was on bedrest for 2.5 months. Plus, all cost are paid out of pocket and we just can't afford to do cycle after cycle and then if it doesn't work move onto adoption.

Anyway, we have chosen an agency and have attended their international adoption seminar. We are planning on attending their domestic adoption seminar on 3/9 and are going to give ourselves a week to decide which route we want to go. We are procrastinators so we have to put a timeline on things. We will most likely go international, Russia to be exact, but didn't want to rule out domestic without hearing about the program.

I would love to get to know any of you who are thinking about adoption or in the process of adopting. If you have already completed your adoption I would appreciate any advice/support you want to give.

[nicolet]

I was diangnosed with Leukemia 2 years ago. Had chemo, bone marrow transplant. And am still getting treatments 2x a week for Graph versus host disease. From all of this it has left me sterile(or so I think it has). Before I was diagnosed we had a beautiful baby boy that is now 2. DH and I alsways wanted 2 childern. I feel really bad that my son will be an only child.

Dh at first was against adoption but has recently changed his mind.:jump2: I started looking into some agency, price, the time that it takes, etc. I think if nothing happens from the states that we would want to adopt from Russia. The only thing is that I would really like to have an infant or a baby that is a few months old. It's really hard because I don't want to get rid of all my baby stuff just incase we do adopt. But yet I can't keep it in my house because space is an issue.

I also want to try to keep it hush from the rest of the family. Because I don't want everyone asking me all the time about it. It's bad enough now I have everyone asking about my health.

Did you pick an agency and if so how did you go aobut it?

[CICI]

We have picked an agency. What I did was called 4 in our area here in MD and had them send packets. There were two that we really liked and what made us decide between the two is that one is accrediated to do Russian adoptions and the other works with an accrediated agency to do Russian adoptions. We attended an international seminar on 2/10 at the agency we have chosen and they were very informative. They said that the average age of children in the Russian program are 6mos to 1yr at the completion of the process. She did say that it took longer to adopt a girl from Russia. If I remember correctly after your Dossier is sent to Russia it can take 2-5 mos to receive a referrel for a boy and 5-8mos for a girl. All in all from start to finish the process takes anywhere from 10-18mos. Alot of it depends on how fast you {general} complete the paperwork that is required. If you want the name of the agency we are using please feel free to pm me. I know they work with couples out of state, you would just have to have a local agency complete your homestudy.

[CICI]

Oh and the agency we are using does domestic adoptions as well. We will be attending a seminar on domestic on 3/9 before we make our final decision. As far as family is concerned, you really should consider telling them. You will need the support and the agency, no matter which one you choose will want to know how they feel about it. If they start asking tons of questions you could always tell them, "When we know something we will let you know." That is what we did and no one brings it up unless we do.

[nicolet]

Can I ask you how much it is going to cost?
Did they give you an estimated amount?

[CICI]

Not a problem at all. Here is the breakdown that is in their info packet for Russian adoptions.

Agency Fee: $4000 paid in $2000 installments with contract & dossier
Translation Fee: $1500
Foreign Fee: (these vary) $9500 for one child over 1 year at placement
$10500 for one child under 1 year at placement
$18500 for two related siblings
$19500 for two unrelated siblings
(no additional fee for a third child adopted simultaneously)

Estimated Travel Cost
Adult airfare $600-1500 per parent per trip, depends on the season
Infant Airfare 10% of adult fare
Child 2-11 50% of adult fare
In-Country stay $120-200 per day {includes Driver/Interpreter:meals and lodging}

Keep in mind there are additional fees as well

Home Study will very on agency you use, this agency only does them for MD and DC residents for $1300

Registration for international program $500

BCIS {formerly INS} $460 + $50 per person for fingerprinting

Post-placement services $300/per report, # of reports depends on the country. I'm not sure how many Russia likes to have

So you are looking at roughly $24,000-35,000. I did the low end of everything and the high end. The cost per day in country is based on the two trips, I did 17 day but that can vary. First trip being 2-7 days and the 2nd being about 10 days, which is sometimes waived by the courts after the hearing.

Keep in mind that there is a federal tax credit of $10,000 per adoption.

[Carmen]

We are considering adopting. I think we are going to try one IVF cycle first. Our insurance won't cover it, but we want to at least give it a try.

If we decide to adopt, we will probably wait a few years.

[CICI]

We would have liked to done an IVF cycle but with the cost coming out of our pocket we just can't afford to do both. Plus, with my endo coming back and the multiple laps I have a lot of scar tissue and adhesions from surgery. I just found out on Friday that even if we were planning on doing IVF we would have to wait until later in the year. I am getting put on BCP to reduce an ovarian cyst and I find out in a month if I have to get put back on Lupron for 6 months for the endo.

Anyway, we go on Tuesday to the domestic adoption seminar at our agency and then we will be making our final decision on which adoption route we will be taking.

[belflora]

we are also adopting!

we don't have a history of infertility.. but we aren't pregnant either .. haha.. adoption was something we always figured we'd do eventually (my husband was adopted domestically as an infant).. and we just realized that with the cost (we're adopting internationally- Russia) .. it's a lot easier with two incomes..

Since I'll be a SAHM after the kids are home, it just makes sense to adopt first and then if we choose, work on biological children later!

It's an exciting journey..

We've finished our home study and are not-so-patiently waiting for the BCIS to process our paperwork so we can get our 171H form..

oh yeah.. we're adopting two at once.. both under 3yrs.. no preference on the gender..so most likely boys!

:) beth

[CICI]

Hi Beth! We are hoping to be able to adopt two at the same time also. Like you we have no preference on gender and with Russia that most likely means they will be boys. Only difference is that we would like them to be as young as possible, preferably under age 2. If they are bio-siblings then we would take in the fact that the oldest would most likely be over age 2.

Good luck! I hope BCIS completes their part soon.

[belflora]

Only difference is that we would like them to be as young as possible, preferably under age 2. If they are bio-siblings then we would take in the fact that the oldest would most likely be over age 2.

Hey Missy -

We started with the same intention.. but our agency told us (btw, each agency has their own "rules" so don't take this as fact!) that some regions look on that poorly.. and they suggested we'd get faster referrals (our ultimate goal) if we expanded our age range..

mostly, this is because we want at LEAST 9mos between the children, we don't want virtual twins (there is nothing wrong with that, many families are very happy with that set up.. it's just not for us..)

let's stay in touch.. this is a crazy process..

:)
beth

[CICI]

We were told by our agency that the broader you are the better you would be. We do not care about the gender but would like to have a child under the age of 2. IF they are bio siblings then we would definantly consider an older than 2, rather than splitting the two up. They told us how to word it to where it would not add too much of a delay on the process, by requesting a specific age. I will have to see if I can find my paper. We have waited this long to become a family, undergoing years of IF treatment, that a little more time is not an issue.

Good luck to you and yes lets stay in touch.