Aidan seems to be doing too much lying and fibbing (or whatever you choose to call it) for my comfort lately. I am not sure why he does it. It can be for something as lame as going potty or washing his hands to something like hurting his brother or sister.

Is this typical for this age?
Has anyone else had to deal with this?
If so, how do you deal with it?

I've tried gently explaing that we don't lie because when you do, then if something terrible actually happens, like your brother hurts you or you lose your favorite toy, then mommy and daddy won't believe you. But it hasn't gotten through to him.

HELP.

I went through this twice with Tylor (around 4 and again at around 8) and Alyssa has gone through it as well.

Basically we just kept telling them that no matter how bad the trueth may seem to be mommy and Daddy love them and we don't want anyone else to get hurt so it is best to tell mommy and Daddy what really happened. Seems to only be a phase and both children worked through it in about a month.

Maia went through a bad phase with lying. I told her the same thing you're telling Aidan. For the most part, the phase passed. She still lies every once in a while, but I think that's normal.

Sorry I'm not more helpful. I think it is typical unfortunately.

I remember that one day while Maia was in that phase, I suspected that Cole had eaten some vacation fish feeders. I asked Maia if either of them had eaten any, and she said no. I explained that I really needed her to tell me the truth because it might make them very sick and that I couldn't help them if she didn't tell me what really happened. She fessed up that Cole ate some. Thinking back, I think that ended her lying phase. So I guess I didn't really do or say anything that got her to stop. I think she just realized that it wasn't a good idea to lie all the time. :dunno:

Emma went through a lying phase about a month or two ago. We did exactly what you are doing, so I, too, am not much help. I actually remembered Stacey's story about the fish food, and used the same approach, as well as telling her that lying makes mommy and daddy very disappointed in her. Thankfully it seemed to be short lived!

It's a phase for sure. I think all kids go through it at some point. I would agree, just keep reinforcing the message that lying is not the right thing to do. It may be a bit of a power thing since he is realizing that he is able to lie to you about things. I always tried not to over react to any lies, so they won't get used to getting attention like that. Remember to point out and praise when he tells the truth (even if it's something small). I tend to forget how powerful positive reinforcement is (not saying you do, but I know that's something that is so easy, yet it slips my mind at times).

Here are a few things from babycenter, although they are for a bit younger kid.
Encourage honesty. Instead of coming down hard on him when he lies, thank your toddler when he's being direct and tells the truth. You might say: "That's great that you told me about the broken truck. Now I understand how it got that way."

• Avoid putting your child on the spot. Try not to question him about the details of a transgression. After all, in many cases it's patently obvious; if he has chocolate all over his face, you know exactly what happened to his sister's candy. Often we question young children because we want them to confess, but this can create a battle where there doesn't need to be one.

• Act on what you know. In a matter-of-fact way, say, "Gee, Justin, it's not okay to take some of Becky's candies. They're hers and it upsets her to lose them. Let's give her some of yours, okay?" By taking this tack, not only have you circumvented the "confess-you-are-lying" confrontation, but you've also led him through the process of reparation. In the long run, knowing how to make up is a more useful skill than knowing how to respond to an interrogation.

• Model trust. Show your toddler that you trust him and he can trust you by always telling him the truth. Make it a priority to keep your word, and apologize profusely if you break a promise. He'll learn more from your behavior than he ever could from your admonitions.

I don't know what is up with the candy examples...maybe they were sponsored by Hershey's :lol:

Is he lying to avoid punishment, or just lying in general? Reading Jen's post reminded me that I do try to let Maia know that I'm happy/proud when she tells the truth. Something that helps Maia is to talk about the fact that I'll always love her, even when she messes up... and that I might get upset or sad, but that I will never stop loving her. Of course, that last bit only matters if he's lying to avoid your finding out about something he did.

Mostly, he's just lying in general and its over really trivial things. Like I will ask him to go potty before nap or wash his hands before dinner and he'll go in the bathroom, shut the door, and walk out 2 secs later, telling me he did what it was that I asked. :rolleyes: Little things like that. Its not often, but once in awhile, I'll ask why N or E is crying and he'll say he doesn't know, and I know full well that he pushed them.

Yeah, Maia used to do the potty-associated lying too. I just used to explain why each part of the potty process is so important.

I think he'll just make his way out of the phase on his own probably... not that you're not doing the right thing by talking to him about it, but you know what I mean.

Mason did the handwashing lying until I demanded to smell them every time he came out of the bathroom. :lol: Now if he doesn't and I asked if he did and he says he did and I ask to smell them anyway he'll say, "I'm just tricking!" and run back to wash them.

Regarding the potty. Last night he didn't want to wear his "night-time underwear." I told him to go pee about 100 times. I was letting him stay in my bed because Patrick is away. FINALLY after about 10 trips and he wouldn't go (I was listening) I said, "If you don't go pee right now, you can stay in your own room tonight and you aren't getting the Spiderman game tomorrow." He went and peed like a racehorse! When he came back I told him that I know when he has to go pee and if he saves it up it is going to make him sick. I told him it is not funny when he refuses to go pee and I don't want him to be sick so please don't save it up if he really has to go just to show me he's right and I'm wrong. (He woke up dry! :woo: )

I have also told him that if he breaks something if he tells me the truth I won't be mad about it, but I will be mad about it if he doesn't tell the truth (or tricks, as he calls it).

Sometimes if I know he did something I won't make him confess to it, I'll ask him to say he's sorry.