A few months ago I took Josiah to a kids' haircut place. He cried the whole time even while sitting on my lap. I had to hold his hands down so the poor woman could cut his hair. It was awful. (The time before that was *almost* as bad.)

So I told DH that it was HIS turn to take Josiah for a haircut. He screamed bloody murder and we didn't even try. Today I tried to get him to let me trim his hair a little. I got one snip and that was it. I'm going to keep trying. Maybe once he gets tired he'll sit on DH's lap and I can do it. I don't know.

Any suggestions? Worst case scenario he just starts looking like a long-haired surfer dude. :lol:

Have you tried a bribe? :lol: Suckers seem to work well with my boys. It's a huge treat for them, since I'm mean and don't really let them have candy any other time. :lol:

My kid doesn't like sweets. (Which makes me think I should order a DNA test to find out if he was switched in the hospital.) This was bad enough that any bribes we tried failed. He would MUCH rather forego the treat than get his hair cut.

Today, and I'm not sure I should have done this but I did, I calmly told him he couldn't play with his trains or watch a video until he let me trim his hair. We'll see if that works.

My hairstylist would take Aiden for his haircut while I was on the other side of the room. She would grab his attention with a hair clip or a comb or something for him to play with - and then take him somewhere that he couldn't see me, so he was stuck getting his hair cut. Never once cried when he couldn't see me and I haven't heard a single scream from him. I can usually see him - or I know he's okay - but he just sits there and takes it.

Mandy... we went to Cartoon Cuts at Dulles Town Center. (Downstairs by Sears.) We got within about 20 paces of the place and he started FREAKING OUT. We couldn't get him anywhere near the place.

First of all :hug99: to you. Here's a picture of what Aaron used to be like:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4ce36b3127cce9c4583b912ca00000065118AbtHDRizctD

And boy do I know how much it sucks! Both of us used to get so stressed out over 1/4" of hair. :disbelief:

I'm trying to remember what it was that turned Aaron around. I'm pretty certain that he hated it until we went with my girlfriend and her daughter. Once he saw his little friend getting her hair cut (and being good) he slowly started to be okay about it. I also made sure that we had a great stylist. The one above was a friend of mine from NY, but here we just take him to a salon. She'd do all kinds of silly stuff with him, like "accidentally" drop the comb, or ask my husband (who shaves his head) if she could cut his hair. Oh and the biggest thing was that she let him touch the buzzers, and she'd tickle them on his nose, and stuff like that. One time the stylist asked him to make his silliest faces in the mirror and she'd engage him in all sorts of other silliness..

He also knows that he gets a balloon when he's done. I ask him in advance what color he should get, etc. The stylist has him sit in his own booster seat and I think it just makes him feel cool to sit in it all by himself. And of course we gush all over the place and say stuff like, "Ooooh, look at you in that chair all by yourself!" "Wow! Look how handsome you are!" and "Wow! I'm so proud of you for sitting still like that".

I'm sorry it's so tough on Josiah. Do you have any of those plastic fake scissors? Ask him to help you trim your hair?

THanks, Lynn! Aaron and Josiah must be about the same age. I think maybe I'll try to find a new place. While the place we've gone is for kids and they have TVs at each station to show a cartoon or whatever, the people that work there are vietnamese and their english isn't great. They may TRY to be silly with Josiah but he doesn't understand them.

I was asking the mom of one of Josiah's buddies where she takes her little guy and she said a regular salon because he is fine with it. So maybe I'll ask to tag along so Josiah can watch him get his cut. He's a total lemming and wants to do everything Teddy does. Maybe that will include getting a haircut! (I can hope, right?)

So maybe I'll ask to tag along so Josiah can watch him get his cut. He's a total lemming and wants to do everything Teddy does. Maybe that will include getting a haircut! (I can hope, right?)

This reminded me of something. I once took Aaron to the salon so *I* could get my hair cut. He freaked out and had to sit on my lap the whole time but I do think it helped him get over the fear a little bit.

Do you know anyone who could come to your house to do it? When we first moved back here I had my old stylist come over and Aaron was totally cool sitting in my dad's kitchen while getting his hair cut. Maybe because he was in familiar surroundings?

I would do anything to make this experience better. How about books about getting a haircut from the library?

Aaron and Josiah's birthdays are only 2 days apart :)

I can't imagine what's going on in their little heads that makes them so afraid. It breaks my heart!

It is an age thing and it does get better. We just perservere and eventually they get used to it. Harry used to hate it but now at 4 he sits up by himself (they have a racing car chair that he loves), chats with the stylist and doesn't flinch. Sam hates it at the moment and it is a pretty traumatic experience for all involved, but we'll just keep taking him until he settles down and realises that it doesn't hurt and that he gets an icecream when he's finished :)

We've been going through this for about 2 years. It's horrible. It doesn't matter who we take him to get it cut either. One barber clipped him with the buzzers and that was it :disbelief

I usually do it myself now and we've made some progress. Now he just freaks a little instead of the all out FREAK OUT. He is still very nervous during it. I'm hoping he'll outgrow it soon as buzz cuts aren't my favorite :lol:

I'm a hairstylist.. so I'll give my 2 cents worth... The best things I've seen help for kids who freak out about getting a haircut are...
-a good ol' bribe of some kind
-introduce your kid to the stylist and tell him/her, she's going to cut your hair, listen to her and be good. Then walk away and wait in the waiting room. Sometimes it really helps if they're on their own.
-find someone that your child 'likes' obviously someone who they can't understand or aren't gravitating toward isn't someone they're going to sit still for.
-I've found that most 'kid' places, aren't necessarily that 'kid' friendly. Sometimes it's just easier to be stern with your child, they need a haircut just like they need to brush their teeth. (obviously not as often though, hopefully lol)
-screaming is ok!!! It's a heck of alot better than wiggling and kicking!
-if your kid is wiggling it's pretty likely that they're going to get a nic or pinch on the ear or neck from the trimmers. They're skin is so delicate in those areas!
-LET THEM SIT ON THE BOOSTER SEAT!! The kids who do the best seem to be the kids who've sat on the booster seat since they're 1st haircut! And, in most states (CA I know for a fact since that's where I work) it's actually against state board regulations to cut a childs hair while they're sitting on someones lap!!

Hope some of those helped:)!

It is an age thing and it does get better. We just perservere and eventually they get used to it. Harry used to hate it but now at 4 he sits up by himself (they have a racing car chair that he loves), chats with the stylist and doesn't flinch. Sam hates it at the moment and it is a pretty traumatic experience for all involved, but we'll just keep taking him until he settles down and realises that it doesn't hurt and that he gets an icecream when he's finished :)

:nod: We went through it with Jacob too...what helped him finally was actually going to a proper barber shop and having a man cut his hair while Daddy got his cut in the chair next to him...I guess he thought it was a guy thing? I have no idea...:lol:

When he was smaller I would NEVER traumatize him by forcing the issue, and when his hair got too long...I just trimmed it while he was sleeping :dunno: Oh...I remember too...:lol: I have pictures of it somewhere...I filled the kirchen sink with warm bubbly water and sat him in it...the novelty of it was just perfect time to snip his hair :lol:

I'm resurrecting this thread because of today's events. We've been talking a lot about haircuts lately and today got him to agree to let me cut his hair. I got a few snips in, he did OK, not great, but did comment that no, it doesn't hurt. I was doing a crappy job, he was squirming a bit and wanted to play with the scissors. I ended up giving him a blunt pair to hold but that wasn't good enough for him. He wanted my sharp ones. We talked about getting him a nice big cookie if he'd get a real haircut at the barber down the street. He agreed.

Rich took him, called me a few minutes later and told me that after they were in the barbershop for all of 10 seconds he freaked, screamed and threw a fit. He's going to try again -- in fact they're still not home so maybe he succeeded -- but here's where I want you all to weigh in please.

DH told Josiah that either he got a haircut or he would come home, woudl have no toys to play with, would go to bed and would be punished.

It breaks my heart. He's obviously afraid of something, I think. Although he IS at that age too where he likes to be defiant just for something to do. But to "punish" him? I told DH I didn't have any better ideas, didn't know what else to do, and the fact that I'm sick and not thinking straight doesn't help.

So talk to me.... punishing him for not getting a haircut? What do you think?

I don't think I could punish for not getting a hair cut. It's not a life or death thing and it's seems like he is just afraid of the scissors. I don't think punishment will fix that, kwim?

Eh....I don't think I would punish either. I agree that he's probably being defiant because he can :heee:

Could he use the buzzers/clippers instead? Those are ticklish IMO (and Aaron's) and by experience that's the only thing that helped Aaron get over his fear.

:hug99:

Jayden is the same way, so I do it myself while he screams :lol: I feel bad, but it drives me NUTS growing over his ears and he's usually okay if he knows he can take a bath afterwards. he also likes to see me cut his brothers hair first, and he doesn't care.

I just called DH and now to make things worse, he's already gone back on his word. He went and bought a cookie and is hoping that with that in hand he can get Josiah in the hair cut chair. And if he can't? He's just screwed up his credibility. Bah.

Yeah, that's the trouble with those strong ultimatums. Bummer.

Punishing him for not getting his hair cut is a REALLY bad idea IMHO. threatening him with punishment is even worse :( I'm sorry but you won't get anywhere by getting into a power struggle about something that he is already finding traumatizing...personally, I think your husband has the better idea...make him happy and comfortable and give him whatever will make him happy while he is in that chair. Fears like that are nothing to take lightly, forcing it could make it much worse.

We've been going through this for about 2 years. It's horrible. It doesn't matter who we take him to get it cut either. One barber clipped him with the buzzers and that was it :disbelief

I usually do it myself now and we've made some progress. Now he just freaks a little instead of the all out FREAK OUT. He is still very nervous during it. I'm hoping he'll outgrow it soon as buzz cuts aren't my favorite :lol:


This is how we are with Dylan. He was never clipped but still hates it.

What I do now is cover the floor with a towel, sit him on the towel, put one of those hoodie towels over his head and turn the TV on to whatever the heck he wants to watch.
He still gets freaky but at least I can get it done. Immediately following said trauma comes the bubbliest of bubble baths.

Well DH brought him home after trying several places. Unfortunately since he'd been told he'd go to his room as punishment, this is what happened. Even though I didn't agree with it, since DH told him that would happen I figured it would be even worse to not follow through. I told DH I wasn't happy about it, but would support him since that's what Josiah had been told. Anyway... that's over now.

When Josiah came down they talked more about the hair cut and to make a long story short he did let US finally cut it. I have some nice sharp scrapping scissors that I wanted to use but he wouldn't let us, so we used these dull crappy old scissors. So, crappy scissors and someone who doesn't know what the heck they're doing does NOT equal the best haircut. Its debatable if he looks better or worse now. :lol:

After his haircut he got his nice big cookie from Starbucks and he was good to go. I'm just hoping this paves the way for next time.

Thanks, all, fo rthe support.

I'm thinking long haired surfer dude a la Spicoli is in Josiah's future. Maybe you should try holding the cookie in front of him while he's getting his hair cut. Kind of a carrot before the mule trick. :lol:

I agree with everyone about not punishing him.
Why didn't DH just hold him in the chair while the barber cut his hair? A little screaming isn't going to hurt anybody. That's what we do and unfortunately what's in our plans for the day :rolleyes: One of us (DH's turn today :biggrin: ) sits in the chair with Sam on our lap in a death grip, he screams and struggles but he gets his hair cut.

I refuse to cut it myself. Not that he would sit still for me either but I've seen too many kids with butchered haircuts (my nephew being one of them) b/c their parents did it themselves.

A little screaming isn't going to hurt anybody. ... One of us (DH's turn today :biggrin: ) sits in the chair with Sam on our lap in a death grip, he screams and struggles but he gets his hair cut.

Same for me, except I did it alone. Death grip is the best term. Also, headlock. He screamed his head off, but he got his hair cut and the second it was done he was fine. He cried and screamed bloody murder but the only one who seemed to suffer lasting trauma was me. Within the last four-six months, he's finally shaped up and barely blinks an eye at haircuts. The introduction of the forbidden sucker also helped, although last time he said he didn't want one because it got all hairy. Smart kid. :lol:

Aiden was always like this and no matter how much he screamed and cried the hairdresser just worked as fast as she could. Always at the end of it he would brag to anyone that would listen that he got a haircut. So it obviously was not that traumatic for him. After about 3-4 times like that he finally sat still and quiet for them. Now at almost 4 he can still have an episode of not liking it and cry on the occassion but he generally gets over it within in a few snips.

I think persistance is the key and not leaving time between haircuts go to long, the more frequent the quicker he will get used to it.

I agree with everyone else that punishment isn't the way to go.

Next time DH gets his hair cut I told him to take Josiah so that Josiah can watch daddy having it done. Then I'd like to have Josiah get his cut. I am happy to hear that some of you do the death grip and just get 'er done. I was feeling pretty bad about that part of it too, that there was something deathly frightening to him and I was making him sit through it anyway.