Mandi's laundry thread got me thinking....as a SAHM, what do you view are your duties, aside from taking care of your children?

I admitted in the laundry thread that I view laundry as one of my duties, because its something that is easy for me to get done with the kids underfoot.

Aside from that, I would say making dinner. Often times, my husband travels, so if I didnt make it, there would be no dinner :lol: But seriously, he gets home too late for him to make dinner. We'd be eating at bedtime :lol:

I do not view cleaning the house as my 'duty'. Its a bonus if I get it cleaned during the week. I like to try to do it on Friday, because we get to start the weekend with a clean house, which feels good. And I like to do it in all one day, so that we have a 100% squeaky clean house. But I dont always have time, and the kids are my first job. So if it gets pushed to the weekend, its a shared chore between my husband and I. He has no issues helping out, and I never have to prod him. He always says, "what can I do to make your life easier?" Sometimes I tell him to take the kids out of my hair, sometimes I ask him to scrub the floors and clean the bathrooms. It just depends.

Litterboxes and yardwork.... that is all him :lol:

Well as you can tell by my laundry thread... taking care of the kids, that's it.

Yes I cook, clean and do the laundry. Do I think I should have to be the only one that does that? Nope. Michael doesn't think I should either. He's happy to help clean and cook (laundry, another story :rolleyes: ) I definitely do more than 50% of the work as far as regular household "chores" but that's b/c I'm anal like that and feel I do a better job. But I have no qualms about letting Michael do some on the days he's off.

Kids
Laundry
Dinner (though he will do it if I need him to, like Wednesdays when we are at church, he will have it ready for me when I get home if I don't eat at church or he'll make his own if we all eat there)
Cleaning (majority of it is me - he will help on weekends though if I didn't get some stuff done during the week)
The kids help me/dh load/unload dishwasher
Josh puts his clothes away

He takes the trash out...daily LOL..

I view my duties around the house as mainly the 'basic everyday cleaning' or straightening up. I do clean everyday (basic cleaning...not break your back cleaning each day)....I feel I have to (or actually need to). If I didn't, the dishes would be piled up and the kitchen table would always be cluttered. Cant live like that. :lol: But as long as I do basics each day, I'm happy. Making the bed, dishes, clearing off table, oh and laundry too. Vacuum once a week too as well. As long as things look 'presentable to the eye' then I feel I have done my 'duty' for the day...but even that's hard when I have hurricane Angelina that comes along and destructs everything! :tearhair: I will do bigger projects like cleaning the bathroom every 2 wks. or we'll share that duty on a weekend (even though I really hate doing big things on the weekend...we like to spend it together or going out somewhere).

When I work evenings, we switch hands and James takes care of cleaning, and things like that so it works good for us. He even does the laundry too...but not the kids clothes (he did it once and I told him never again :lol: ). He won't pre-treat and that's important to me. So now when he does the laundry while I'm working he will do our regular clothes and the towels or something. :lol:

ETA: Oh, and dinners too. I love to cook. But if I'm working that night, James will cook and I get a break. Sometimes I still will have something prepped if there's a recipe I wanted to make.

Oh yeah...Kara's post reminded me that when I go out for book club or Moms night out or Stitch N Bitch, Chris does cook dinner for the kids. So its not always me. He's not helpless :lol:

And Dawn's post reminded me that I do the little things...empty and load the dishwasher during the day, etc.

But I do not feel the need to straighten up the house during the day. The anal side of me may do it, but I dont always do it. My MIL made the comment once that she always had the boys clean up before FIL came home from work b/c FIL hated coming home to a mess, and since then, I've eased up and leave the house a mess till after dinner :lol: I dont want my husband to think I am June Cleaver and am cleaning the house for him.

Not that I necessarily view them as my duties but I do pretty much everything 100%.

I cook, clean, grocery shop, pay bills, homeschool, do laundry. You name and I probably do it. He has to make the money, go to school, take out the trash, clean the litterbox and mow the lawn. Hot tub maintenance, shoveling etc is mine.

I do have to say though that he leaves for work 5:30 a.m. He has school on friday nights and all day saturdays. His only day at home is on Sunday and we spend the morning and evenings at church. If he doesn't have school on a saturday then he is usually at work. When he is home at night he is busy doing remodel projects. Next room is laundry room. He is busy and just doesn't have the time to help me with that stuff.

Oh yea, another thing I wanted to add: a lot of times I have a TON of errands to run (grocery store, post office, bank, etc.) so those days the house gets put on hold especially if I'm out most of the day. It's just too much to run errands, run Alexia to her activities (preschool, gymnastics, storytime) and then do a basic cleaning on the house. Those days, the only thing I care about is the kitchen, as I hate having a messy kitchen. The rest of the time I like to spend w/ the girls instead of worrying about the house. Sometimes it's hard cause I'm soooo anal and things out of place bothers me. But I'm getting better, I am! ;) :lol:

First priority is Sarah, then laundry (especially because DH does NOT pre-treat and I don't want anyone's clothes ruined). I try to make dinner, but don't view it as my duty. I feel like I should clean up a bit more than I do (basic straightening up and such).

The kids, obviously. I also handle anything to do with making phone calls like if we need a repairman or I need to call the bank to verify something. It all falls on me. It's very hard for him to make phone calls at work so even when I worked full time, I did this.

As for household chores, it's pretty evenly split. I cook, mainly because he can't but he'll do the cleanup and do all the dishes. I tend to vacuum and mop the floor but he'd do it if I asked. We both do laundry but I tend to do more of the girls laundry so I can pretreat. He'll do just about anything I ask to help out it's just that I have to ask and I hate that. He doesn't tend to notice if something needs to be cleaned and I do, which drives me nuts.

I don't really view anything as my "duty", except for caring for the children. I do the majority of the housework though. All of the laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. But I did that when I worked full time as well. He stacks the dishwasher after dinner and occasionally empties it in the morning. He also takes care of the yard work.

I see my duties as number 1 the kids. The cooking (as my husband is literally retarded when it comes to cooking) and the laundry.

Although my actual duties are EVERYTHING ELSE as well. He does not do a single thing regarding the house, nor does he offer. He does the lawns and puts the garbage out.

It is exhausting, oh he might carry the basket out to the laundry for me, and sometimes might even transfer a load from the washer to the dryer if I ask... but other than that he does ZIP.

Its hard to convince him otherwise, he see's himself going out and doing physical labour as his contribution.. he has no idea the pressure I am under keeping a house, looking after 3 kids and running our business AND going to work once a week... he has no concept.. He claims all the time he would swap with me in a second and stay home :rolleyes:

I feel these are my duties:

*the kids
*the cooking (breakfast is each for his own except I help Rae, I fix lunch for everyone (including packing Josh's) and then dinner) If I'm going to be gone in the evenings I normally fix something and leave it for them to heat up
*cleaning
*laundry
*run errands
*do bills
*ok, pretty much everything around the house

I DO NOT:
*take out the trash
*do most of the yard work (occasionally I'll mow)

The kids, laundry for sure.
Cooking, DH does it at times or I might just get stuff ready for him to grill and sit down and relax while he grills it and serves it.
Housecleaning, I do most of it though DH does the master bathroom since he's the one that uses it the most. He takes the kids while I'm doing heavy housecleaning, that's a huge help there, and will help me if I'm in a bind.
Yard work and garage/attic cleaning & organizing are mainly his job although I do enjoy planting flowers every once in awhile :)

I view my duties as taking care of Jackson, cooking dinner (only b/c he gets home too late), keeping the kitchen clean, and doing errands/appointments that he can't do during the day. Everything else, we share.

I tend to do laundry more often then he does, but he cleans more than I do. He is better at it and more efficient. He can clean our whole house and do a good job in 1.5-2 hours, where it takes me 3 or 4 hours. I am better at doing the bills so I do that. He also does the trash and the litterbox.

Aside from taking care of Aiden, my next duty is college.
After that, basically, I do everything that pertains to running the house. Everything. This was a fight between my husband and myself. He doesn't help out. He does if you "ask" but I honestly have adopted the mindset that he is not around - he just provides the paycheck to pay all the bills and I take care of everything else.
I do it all - trash, lawn care - laundry, cooking, cleaning - I am not to do some chores - but I end up doing them anyway because it drives me crazy seeing them not accomplished - or my husband is on an extended business trip.

My husband travels a lot. There is no luxury sometimes of getting a break. If I don't do it, it builds up. So, I just accept that this is my role, these are my duties - and I do them.

Mandy

. He will *pick up* only if I bed/barter and pleed with him...


Freudian slip? :locolaugh

There is nothing that DH can't/won't do except clean the stove. He's told me flat out he will not clean the stove. OK. I guess I can live with that. Other than that, he can and will do everything.

That said, I work hard to make sure he doesn't. I do the laundry, the cleaning, the cooking, the grocery shopping, etc. We probably split the garbage 50/50, the cat pan 50/50, and outside in the yard, he has lawn duty and I have flower bed duty.

When it comes to anything that needs to be fixed or replaced or other handyman type stuff, I steer clear. That's all him.

Priority number one - taking care of Lauren. And I pretty much do everything else as well. Jamie works week on/week off. So he is gone for one full week flying and then home for one full week. I have to do it all the week he is gone so the week he is home I just continue doing it. I am a bit of a control freak so that doesn't help either. :) He knows he is not allowed to touch the laundry, ever. :noqueno: He will definetely help out if I ask but I find it easier to do it myself. I do all the yardwork, take out the trash.. you name it, I do it. He does love to cook so he will cook a couple meals sometimes when he is home. He will ask what can he do to help me out and I usually just tell him to play with Lauren.

But I do not feel the need to straighten up the house during the day. The anal side of me may do it, but I dont always do it. My MIL made the comment once that she always had the boys clean up before FIL came home from work b/c FIL hated coming home to a mess, and since then, I've eased up and leave the house a mess till after dinner :lol: I dont want my husband to think I am June Cleaver and am cleaning the house for him.
Karri.....:locolaugh

I think my duties (although I don't like that word.. sounds like too much responsibility) are anything pertaining to the house and kids. Although it's not as if we ever sat down and spelled it all out. Over time, I worked out my own system for what and how to do the things I felt needed to be done. I know there are some things around the home that just don't bother me so they don't ever get taken care of.

I do it ALL...Kids, cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill paying, shopping, EVERYTHING! My husband worked two jobs for the longest time so I could stay home with the kids so I didn't complain but he just got a new job that will pay much more money for less hours. I think it might be time for him to start pitching in around the house!!! :)

What I do:
Kid and homeschool
Cook
Clean
Laundry
Trash
Bills
Groceries
Errands

My duties....
everything and I mean everything. Cook, paying bills, everything.

Dh "may take out the trash" and he does cut the grass. We have a rider.

So I find myself very stressed out because all I do is clean, clean, clean. Whether it is actually cleaning. Trying to "Yell" toys back into there place. Dh isn't much better. Dirty clothes on the floor, bathroom left a mess. Never a bed made. I feel I have CHAOS because nothing is ever cleaned up.

I also have a medical condition right now that is making me really tired and my muscles are sore. I just want to cry!!!!!!!!!! Because I feal like I'm failling.

I do 90% of the childcare, all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of the finances.