Josiah will be 3 in July. We have a very small yard which is fenced. He cannot get out of the gate. We do not live on or back up to a major street. In fact, there are probably 10 other houses that can see into our back yard.

We now have a playset in the backyard and Josiah wants to be out there constantly. I want him to have fun, get exercise, and play independently. The problem is I also have 15 month old Nicholas who gets cranky and doesn't want to stay outside as long.

I stay in the part of the house where I can see the backyard from the windows and peek in on Josiah about every 20 seconds or so. (Have done so probably 3 times while typing this.)

Am I nuts? I need to be in with Nicholas. Should I drag Josiah in with me? Is it ok to let him stay out and play? He knows where I am. I am watching him and if he falls will be to him in 5 seconds or less.

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6dd35b3127cce97e3a88f575200000016108AbMWrVy0Ysl

This picture gives you an idea of what our backyard is like, and that we back to other back yards. Not a road.

I think it's fine.

No, you arent nuts. I started letting Aidan go outside in our backyard by himself when he was about 2, because I couldnt keep the twins outside for long periods of time, either. We have a fenced in yard w/ a gate that locks. And like you, I'd just keep my eye on him and keep the windows open so I could hear him. This past late summer, I allowed all 3 kids outside (the twins were just about to turn 2) for short periods of time while I was inside.

I would say that it would be fine :nod:

We don't even have a fenced in yard but we do live on a cul-de-sac which is off another cul-de-sac...in other words, very little traffic. I let both Aidan and Colin go out on their own now. I'm not 100% comfortable with it because of no barriers, and so I check on them often. But if we had a fenced yard, I'd be less concerned. I totally know what you mean though. Colin wants to go out less than Aidan (in the cold) and now that I have Jack too, it's that much more challenging. I'm dying for a house with a fenced yard!!

damn i'd almost let gianna out there :lol: j/k of course.

i wish i had a fence, i'd be totally fine with that setup and an almost 3yr old.

Gosh, its so nice to be able to come here just get another opinion. I mean, I suspected there was nothing wrong with it, but its SO nice to have another set of eyes and ears to say either, "Yeah... that's cool" or "HHHHMMMMMM... have you thought about THIS?"


Thanks, all. :)

Alyssa -- since you have been to my old house in MA -- that's one thing I couldn't do there. Let Josiah play alone outside. First, we had no fence. Second, even if we did, all we really had was that side yard and no windows that looked out to it.

Another fine vote. As long as he's not a dare devil and would think of jumping from the top of the play structure. If he's used to it, or doesn't climb and jump I see no problem with checking on him. He knows where to find you should he need anything, right?

I let Kaden play in our yard, he's usually with his big sister but I think they tend to get into more trouble with her direction.

another good point. he is SO not a daredevil. he's pretty tame.

I let Sam play outside alone now and he's only 29 months. There is no way he can get out of our yard though.

My only concern with your yard is the height of your fence. My boys would be over that in a shot! :woa: I wouldn't be comfortable with it if any of your neighbours have swimming pools, but if you're confident that he won't climb the fence then let him do it as long as you're checking that he's still there!

I'm glad to see this thread and the responses! I've been letting Maggie and Katie play outside on their own for short periods of time lately. I can see them through the window and keep a window or door open so I can hear what is going on and call out to them if I need to.

It has been so wonderful to let them jump on the trampoline or play on the slide by themselves while I watch and fold laundry or clean up the kitchen. I was a little afraid to ask about it in case you all told me it was a really bad idea. :shuffle:

I think it's fine. Alex plays in our backyard by himself. In fact, we live in a cul- de-sac and I let him play in the front yard when the other neighbor kids are out. He knows not to leave the cul-de-sac, but I do check on him often.

I agree too! I've let Katie go into the back yard all by herself, she does know how to open the gate, but usually she'll stay in the back playing in the dirt.

I agree. Totally fine.
We let the kids play in the backyard on the playstucture or the front culd-sac all the time. They know where their boundaries are and the backyard has 2 locked gates.

I let both girls play outside in our backyard so obviously I think it's fine. :)

I'm glad to see this thread and the responses! I've been letting Maggie and Katie play outside on their own for short periods of time lately. I can see them through the window and keep a window or door open so I can hear what is going on and call out to them if I need to.

It has been so wonderful to let them jump on the trampoline or play on the slide by themselves while I watch and fold laundry or clean up the kitchen. I was a little afraid to ask about it in case you all told me it was a really bad idea. :shuffle:
:lol2: Sheila!! I have been too and have been feeling the same way. :lol:

Some of you know that I am an attorney who works with parents who have had their children removed by Child Protection Services. That said, I see the less than beautiful side of life. I am also a former public defender. Again, I saw the less than beautiful side of life.

That said, I'll be the lone dissenter in my opinion. I don't think it is a good idea.

This is why:
1. The fence is easily accessible for any stranger to get to him. They would just go through a few back yards or even through your front yard.
2. At 2, he would be easily overpowered by any adult.
3. Even though you are checking on him every 20 seconds or so, that is enough time for a stranger to abduct him.
4. If someone is scoping out your area looking for a child (and weirdos do this), they will quickly learn that your child is left alone in the backyard.
5. This will make your child very easy prey.
6. The fence is very low and you can easily see through it -- again another risk.
7. The fence height would also make it very easy for him to climb over and get out of the safe confines of your yard.
8. If God forbid something happened to him when he got out, not only would you have a hard time forgiving yourself, you could very reasonably expect to have criminal charges filed against you. (A grandmother here did not properly supervise her 3 and 5 year old grandchildren, they snuck off and drowned in a nearby water source. She is now facing negligent homicide charges.)
9. If anything happened to him or even if he were found wondering outside your yard, you could very likely be on the hook for inadequate supervision. This is grounds in most states to have your children removed by Child Protective Services.

In light of these reasons, I do not think it is safe for a 2 or even 3 or 4 or 5 year old to play outside alone without an adult present outside as well. :)

DISCLAIMER: I am only licensed in the state of ARkansas. The abovegoing is only my opinion and not to be construed as legal advice. :)

I agree with Lissa, I don't let my kids outside alone but I also don't have a fenced in yard and my house backs up to other houses and my daughter is a daredevil so not sure how I would feel if we live with different circumstances.

Your fence is the first thing I thought about because I know that Eliot would be climbing it in no time :rolleyes:
I do let Eliot & Ian play in the backyard but we have a solid wood 8 feet fence and a locked gate, usually the gate is just used my hubby when he's mowing but I'm in the habit to checking the yard before letting the kids out. Both the kitchen and the family room (where I fold clothes) have windows towards the yard so I'm able to see them all the time that they're out there and I always keep the windows & the back door open so that I can hear them and they can come in at any time.

I would let him play there too. Although I can't argue with any of Lissa's points. You have to figure the balance between safety and freedom.

Although I would probably stay outside with him more for week or two until you know what his routine is outside and what he is likely to get into. And if you have a gate on your fence, I'd make sure to lock it in a way he can't open. One of our friends has a gated fence and the kids opened it last week when they were playing in the yard. We were in the yard too so it wasn't a big deal, but we saw that they would do that even though they know not to.

You have to figure the balance between safety and freedom.

I agree :nod:

We all know our kids and our neighborhoods. I am sure Susan knows how much she can trust Josiah or she wouldn't leave him out there w/o checking on him every few seconds.

I know that my gate is locked. We have a 4.5 foot fence and the kids would never think of climbing it. I know my neighbors. And I certainly don't find it neglectful to leave my children playing in my safe backyard while I run in to pee or grab a snack for the kids, or watch them from the kitchen table while I am folding laundry.

Lissa... your points are very valid. It did make me think of my neighbors down the street, though. If CPS were inclined to visit my street, they'd find their 4 kids (ages 2.5 - 7) outside in the FRONT yard, running around the street, and the 4 year old climbing up on TOP OF THE CAR!!!

Seriously frightening.

I know that creeps are everywhere, but I am very lucky to live in a nice neighborhood which overall is very, very safe.

I know that creeps are everywhere, but I am very lucky to live in a nice neighborhood which overall is very, very safe.

Just as a reminder.... the neighborhood you live in has nothing to do with the creeps that could live there. AND, you need to be more cautious about the people you know (or think you know) than the strangers who might happen to wander by.

I agree with Lissa's points as well-- who could really argue with them? Of course, I think it bears keeping in mind that stranger abductions are exceedingly rare. It is the people we know who are more likely to bring harm to us and/or our children.

Although our neighborhood is very safe (my old neighborhood), it is amazing how many random people drive down our street. Construction workers, delivery trucks, it's very busy.

One of the neighbors lets her 4 year old drive her Barbie jeep up and down the sidewalk at least 7 or 8 houses away from theirs. Someone actually stopped and rang the doorbell at my house one day to ask if I knew the little girl who was playing alone down the street. (It creeped me out that a stranger did that... he said he saw the toys in my yard and thought it might be my child.) :errr:

I would not let my kids play in the front yard if I wasn't there. I'm not sure at what age I would allow that.

Susan, I have to echo Shelia's thoughts. It really doesn't matter how safe your neighborhood is. Creeps are EVERYWHERE! And although abduction is more often by a known individual than stranger, it does happen in about 25% of cases.

To everyone who does let their child/ren play outside alone, I know you are being careful. I just see the ugly side of the world and it is amazing how easily something you never thought would happen does. :)

Lissa, I totally see your point :nod: