I'm curious to see what people think.
My brother is getting married this year. They are planning an engagement party which will be a cocktail party in NY in April. The actual ceremony is going to be a "civil" ceremony in NY for immediate family over Memorial Day weekend followed by a family-only dinner. My mom is hostessing a small dinner for her closest friends on the following night. The reception will take place in Southwest France in late June (the bride is from that region of France). The events in France include a cocktail party on Friday night, a "black tie" reception on Saturday night, and a brunch on Sunday.
My brother sent us all an email letting us know the dress code for the various events. He said that we should wear "cocktail dresses" for the engagement party and the cocktail party but that women need to wear "long dresses" to the reception. My mom replied that we all knew this already. I, however, have worn shorter dresses (knee-length) to black tie events in the past. I would NOT have assumed that I need a long dress, just a dressy dress. I don't mind wearing a long dress but I'm curious how people here would have interpreted the dress code without my brother's "instructions."

Amanda

IMO, a black tie event does not mean a long dress, it means a very nice dressy dress. Heck, look at the celebrities that wear knee length dresses to award ceremonies that are black tie. Current example would be Reese Witherspoon :nod: I would wear whatever you would feel more comfortable in. I mean, are they going to let all of their guests know that this means the women have to wear long dresses? I would think not :dunno:

I am pretty sure I would have interpreted a black tie event as long dress BUT...I am also a huge stickler for etiquette (thanks Mom... :rolleyes: ) and my appraisals are very conservative/old school on every level. If I were to interpret with modern etiquette, I am also with you Amanda...I would think that a short but formal dress woudl be quite appropriate.

To illustrate the point, when I went to my high school prom, NO ONE wore a short dress...it was not acceptable. Nowadays, girls wear short dresses all the time - modern etiquette dictates that it is acceptable.
Trish's example of celebrity awards ceremonies is another perfect example...used to be a short dress was not acceptable but now you see them everywhere!


I am officially stepping off my soapbox. :blush: :lol:

That was a fast response!
We did a google search at work and different "etiquette" websites said different things!
As I said, I don't mind wearing something long but I'm glad he told me or I would have goofed (especially since it's late June!!!).

Amanda

Okay, since you want to know how I would interpret it prior to the instructions -
It would mean a nice evening gown. A long gown. As freaking much as it would drive me crazy to have to buy something specifically to wear to a wedding - and a gift - and fly - that's what I would do.

And while Hollywood may be dressing down, I admit I'm old fashioned about dress codes and if it's black tie, then I would be wearing a long gown, because that is what old school etiquette is - and that's presumably what is being hinted with "black tie" attire.

I'm always a fan of a long, fancyschmancy gown.... :nod:

I voted for a long dress.

Do "black tie dress" rules vary at all since the event is in France/do you care?

Black Tie means formal. Men wear tuxedos, women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.

Black tie is a dress code for formal evening events that are not formal enough to require white tie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_tie). Its primary component is the dinner jacket (or "D.J.") as it is known in the United Kingdom (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom), the north-eastern United States (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States), and Canada (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada). The jacket and matching pants are typically called a tuxedo in the United States and Canada.

Black tie is today worn at a wide variety of functions, and the corresponding female attire can range from a short cocktail dress (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocktail_dress) to a long gown (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gown), depending on fashion, local custom and the hour at which the function takes place.

If I had to go to a black tie reception in France I would be buying a long gown.

I guess I'm a little less traditional, or maybe it's because I live in California, but I wouldn't automatically assume it meant long gowns. :dunno: I guess it's a good thing your brother mentioned it. :lol:

I think that the time of the event also means long fress. A black tie event in the late afternoon/evening (like cocktail hour) could easily mean a cocktail dress.

i've been to a black tie event in the UK and wore a short dressy dress. (not sure what the norm is in france, just posting some euro experience :lol: )

interesting note: my boyfriend (british) owned his own dinner jackets. he had 3 different ones. i found that odd since a dinner jacket is a tuxedo and i don't know anyone here who actually owns one.

I voted Other because I was thinking that it would depend on what Tom wore.

I have a friend who is attending a black-tie event next weekend. Her DH is wearing a nice suit instead of a tux. We were talking about what she should wear and agreed that if she wore a long, fancy dress, it would look silly next to the suit. If her DH were going to rent a tux, she should definitely wear a long, fancy gown. :) So, she's going to wear a great little black dress and is going to look fabulous!! :aok:

I'm enjoying hearing everyone's opinions!!!
I do agree that there is alot of regional variation. New York events seem to be dressier than California events in general (at least in my experience - 2 of my siblings live in California). The wedding is in the region of France near the Spanish border so it could be that things are more formal there. My brother is also very traditional so that's part of it.
My husband owns a tuxedo (we go to at least 1-2 black tie events each year) and will be wearing it. I've never been to a black tie event where a shorter dress would have been considered "under-dressed" but I think I will re-consider my opinion on this issue!

Amanda

I would say any length, as long as it is dressy (well, not too short!!) I've been to a black tie wedding and only about half the women had on long gowns. I think in this day & age, many of us regular people are too sensible to buy a gown that we're never going to wear again. We'd rather buy a gorgeous cocktail dress we can wear to another wedding or function.

I would also go with a long gown. I'm a traditionalist in that manner I guess.