I am turning thirty in July (YUCK) and that will be our 3rd anniversary of TTC and at this point I honestly have to say I am depressed. I have told DH that I am not having a birthday this year so don't buy me any presents or have a party or anything because I am not turning 30! It really wouldn't bother me if I was at least pg by then but we are on TAB right now for me to lose weight because three years of saying I can't diet I am TTC and I could be pregnant and additionally two years of taking these drugs have taken a toll on my body.

Anyone else in at least a sort of similar place? I need support!

:hug99: Nope, sorry. Turning 29 was hardest for me. I didn't meet DH until I was 34 and then had my first (only so far) baby at 35. So, although it might not seem like it, there is life after 30. I do hope your struggles end soon though. :)

Thanks Bev! I am sure it would be easier if I didn't make goals for myself. You know, married by this age, kids by this age, etc. I am not where I wanted to be at this age.

Kaybee, I freaked out so badly at 29 that I bought a house! I think sometimes life gets in the way of our goals. :) I've seen the odd post of yours so I know you're dealing with some infertility issues. I wish you well. :)

That's very nice of you! Thank you!

Just dropping in to give you a :bighug:

We've not been TTC nearly as long as you (so I actually even feel embarrassed posting) but it's been 9 months since my m/c and like everyone in my family is pregnant now except me. It's just been pretty hard the past few months.

Don't feel embarassed! Misery loves company! :lol: Thanks for letting me know I am not alone! :bighug:

Yep, thought I would be PG far by now and we are just coming upon the 1 year mark. I couldn't imagine a few more years of trying!

My sister got PG on accident and my brother got his gf pg (both in their 30's). Yet I am married and have been trying and it still hasn't happend.

Pity party for all of us :bighug:

I can relate too. I feel pg straight away with my boy Patrick (he is now 2 1/2 years). In fact, he was a huge surprise. We have been TTC#2 for 8 months. I had no idea of the stress related to TTC. I am 32 and would love to have 3 children but we are just focusing on #2 for now and feel grateful for our beautiful boy Patrick.

Well, imagine me... I'm 32 (SUPER YUCK!) and have been trying for almost 3 years and nothing happens. :disbelief

Every month it was the same story: tears and dissapointment every time AF showed up. Temping, charting, keeping a fertility calendar and there was a point when Enrique and I only had sex when it was the right time. I didn't see the use of doing it in other time, forgot about how fun it is. My life was like a sad opera :violin:

I have been through all the emotions now. I'm not longer hopeful but depression has gone away, too. Now I feel resigned. If the baby wants to come, fine. If not, it's fine too. We will not put the success of our relationship on whether we have a baby or not, we see it as a complement.

I've decided I'm not longer going to cry everytime AF shows up or put my sex life in a thermometer or put up with clomid's hot flashes again :dead: I'm not longer calculating my fertility on a chart and I have my calendar only so AF doesn't surprise me :blush1:

In fact... I think I'm getting used to our childless life so far. My house is always tidy, with small objects on the coffe table. Enrique and I can go out whenever we want to and return as late as we want, we don't have to ask anybody to look after Merlin, he stays home alone, has dinner and goes to bed by himself. We can travel and use our extra money in clothes or things we like (like my Clinique treatment) and so on...

I'm not depressed any more :)

And for those who are scared because you're not getting any younger, let me tell you one thing: life expectancy has risen, as well as our fertile years. A 38 year-old mother is not so strange nor dangerous (said by my gyn ;)) so RELAX, have fun, enjoy your marriage and live la vida loca :biggrin:

Kerri :bighug:

I so know how you feel. May 4th will officially be 3 years for us, too. I always thought by now I'd have two children or at least be PG with my second. But God has another plan for us. I go through periods where all I think of are babies and getting PG. But then there are times when I just want it all to go away and never worry about it again.

I've gone to two REs and tried everything except IVF. DH and I are now TAB and deciding which route we want to choose, IVF or adoption. And currently I'm also trying to lose weight and get healthier.

Kerri, if you ever need someone to talk to, please PM me. I know exactly how you feel :bighug: Anna

Depressed, that's me!!:bawl: I'm not sure what DH and I's next step is but I just want something to go right for us.. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Taking a break sounds great to me, but I know I will still think of having a baby all the time. So what's the use.:sad: Tomorrow is my follow up with my RE and maybe we will have a plan. And to top it off, MONEY is a big thing for us right now. Insurance doesn't cover IF treatments so every $$ comes out of pockets!:tantrum:


:wavey:Anna I'm from Pittsburgh too....

Hi Jodi :wavey: It's always nice to see someone else from the burgh! Good luck at your RE appt today! Let us know what your new plan is? And I can totally relate to the $ aspect of IF. My insurance quit IF coverage last July :blue:

Anna

Don't feel bad... hope never dies :bighug:

I just wanted to pop in, because we've been actively TTC for almost three years (this July). I'll be 26 in July, also, and I absolutely thought I'd have at least one child by now. I wanted to start our family right after we got married, and considering I was fairly young (21) when we did, I figured we would have plenty of time to have children. We just kind of played it by ear for a few years, until I realized thing weren't going to happen on their own, and that's when "officially" started trying by getting medical treatment in July 2001.

My mom had her first child at 27, after she and my dad had been married for 4 years, and I always thought I wouldn't wait "that long". :rolleyes: Well, I'm only a year and a half away from that age myself, and have been married for 4 1/2 years, with no discernible chance of getting pg anytime soon. So, I'm also very discouraged (sometimes to the point of mild depression) that we are still trying with no luck. The RE was no help, we haven't got insurance to cover fertility treatment, and we're running low on money (DH hasn't worked in months), so it's up to me to get graduated, find a job quickly, and be the breadwinner of the family before we even consider aggressively pursuing treatment again. Of course, being almost 26 before I graduate with my first Bachelor's degree wasn't in my plans, either. :banghead:

Geez, come to think of it, really nothing in my life is going according to plan! Serves me right for setting time lines and goals, huh? :tearhair:

I am turning thirty in July (YUCK) and that will be our 3rd anniversary of TTC and at this point I honestly have to say I am depressed. I have told DH that I am not having a birthday this year so don't buy me any presents or have a party or anything because I am not turning 30! It really wouldn't bother me if I was at least pg by then but we are on TAB right now for me to lose weight because three years of saying I can't diet I am TTC and I could be pregnant and additionally two years of taking these drugs have taken a toll on my body.

Anyone else in at least a sort of similar place? I need support!
:kiss: Hey sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!! What worked for me was throwing myself a HUGE girlie-fest party in NYC for my 30th....and then 1 week before the big date I got my BFP. SO you never know. I am crossing everything for you!

ANd btw - congrats on the WL! I know that is a pita struggle too but you are doing great!!

I am surprised that people have been responding. Sometimes I think people are sick of hearing my bellyaching but it's good to hear that people empathize and sympathize. I have been feeling better lately. I have lost just shy of 25lbs (go me) and I have dove into all my dog rescue work. We have a foster dog Mariah here and she is so full of life she makes you forget about anything else. I was so used to going to those RE appts all the time I thought I would miss them but I really don't. It's nice to have a break.


Tara- Thanks for the advice! I don't think I will be TTC yet by the time my bday gets here but I bought tickets to see the Yankees play that day so at least I have something to look forward to!


How is everyone else been feeling lately?

Kerri sweety. I just wanted to lend my support. I can't imagine how you feel. It took us 2 years to get Nathan and that was torment.

You know I am here to cheer you on (great job on the weight loss). I think you are doing all the right things hun. BTW, it was when I lost a lot of weight, is when I became pg with Kaylin with no fertility drugs. I hope you get similar results sweety! :bighug:

Hi Kaybee....I just had let you know ther is life after 30....I stuggled with IF for years but was lucky enough to have my Daughter in 2002 thanks to a successful IUI. I am a shocking 38 now and have been trying to have my 2nd but am not sure if it will happen :(...I know how hard it is to wait for that miracle but they do come :):angelfly:

Kerri, I am right there with you. Unfortunately, I am turning 30 in a little over a week, May 2! And in June it will be 2 years of TTC for us. I always wanted a baby before I was 30, now I will be 30 and not even pregnant. We're TAB for a couple of months right now, too.

I am coping by trying to lose weight and trying to have some fun while we're TAB. I think we're going to plan a vacation soon, too.

I am surprised that people have been responding. Sometimes I think people are sick of hearing my bellyaching


How is everyone else been feeling lately?I totally feel the same way. I always feel so guilty whining about not being pg yet, especially since I already have Caiti. We have recently passed our two year mark ttc and it sucks. I actually had stopped posting in my ttc journal at UB, but since they were closing, I figured I would start one here.

I feels like everyone on my block is pg, and by suprise, no less. It just really sucks!

Depression and infertility or TTC is (in my opinion) is not just a bunch of hormonal women complaining. To me, it is a serious issue (or can be for some of us). I was an infertility patient for about a year and a half (after my DH was diagnosed and survived advanced cancer, we were told we would never be able to have biological children together). I was seriously depressed (to the point of being placed on antidepressant medication for a while and I also attended a support group for other women going through infertility). The experience was so powerful to me, I have decided to dedicate my private practice to this issue and working with women and couple in their stuggles to conceive (I am a clinical psychologist).

Wishing everyone the best!
Tracey

How is everyone doing? I am so aching for a baby right now. My sister is PG and I swear I am so sick of hearing her complain. Also she drinks caffeinated coffee and had a little beer and doesn't listen to all the rules when it comes to eating either. Not fair! Life sucks! WAAHHH!

:hug99: Too bad she doesn't realize how lucky she is! :(

That's how I feel Beverly! Exactly! I think everyone else in my situation didn't subscribe! :lol:

I have found out in the last few weeks that about 3 people I know are PG...so NOT fair. I was really depressed this month b/c my progesterone looked great and I was in town to actually get it in at the right time...I was so hoping for a BFP but I got AF instead. I am loosing hope and it has only been about 16 months.